Fozzie's Comedy Acts

A list of Fozzie Bear's comedy acts from The Muppet Show, frequently criticized by Statler and Waldorf.

The pilot version of the series' first episode featured a monologue by Fozzie, which was cut from the broadcast version. He also performed a comedy act in It's The Muppet Show!.

Individual Sketches

 * Jokes on Any Subject
 * Fozzie asks the audience to come up with a word and he will tell a joke about it. Statler yells "Amoeba", which Fozzie doesn't know the meaning of. Seen in Episode 103: Joel Grey.


 * The Greatest Straight Man in the Business
 * Statler and Waldorf convince Fozzie that he's one of the greatest straight men in the business. Seen in Episode 104: Ruth Buzzi.


 * Not Good Enough to Clean the Palace
 * Statler and Waldorf give Fozzie a hard time with his monologue. Fozzie says that he's good enough to play the palace, and they tell him he's not good enough to clean the palace. Seen in Episode 105: Rita Moreno.


 * Fozzie's Best Joke
 * Fozzie promises that if Statler and Waldorf don't laugh at his best joke, he will quit comedy. They laugh at his joke, but he actually told his worst joke. Seen in Episode 106: Jim Nabors.


 * Impressions
 * Fozzie does some impressions, but they are all impressions of actors who do the same kind of acting. Seen in Episode 107: Florence Henderson.


 * The Telephone Pole Bit
 * Fozzie is wearing a telephone costume, and Scooter asks him a question. Seen in Episode 108: Paul Williams. Also included in Fozzie's Muppet Scrapbook.


 * Fozzie Attempts to Bury Statler and Waldorf
 * Fozzie tells Statler and Waldorf that if they start heckling him, he will just bury them with one line. However, Statler and Waldorf end up burying Fozzie with one line. Seen in Episode 109: Charles Aznavour.


 * Good Grief! The Comedian's a Bear!
 * Fozzie gets Kermit to participate in his act. It's all unrehearsed, and Fozzie tells Kermit that when he hears the word "hear", he is supposed to shout "Good Grief! The Comedian's a Bear!". However, Fozzie keeps saying "hear" during parts of the joke where Kermit isn't supposed to say the line, and eventually Fozzie changes it so Kermit shouts the line when he points to Kermit, and he points to Kermit the next time he says "hear". Seen in episode 110. Also heard on The Muppet Show (album), Muppet Hits Take 2 and Music, Mayhem and More!, and included in Fozzie's Muppet Scrapbook.


 * Bruce Forsyth Does an Act
 * Due to the show running a bit longer than planned, Kermit cancels Fozzie's act, and puts on Bruce Forsyth, who does a monologue on Fozzie's set. When Statler and Waldorf start heckling him, he gives them some comeback lines. Fozzie is impressed, and Bruce teaches Fozzie how to come back at them, and after defeating them, they sing Side By Side. Seen in Episode 113: Bruce Forsyth.


 * The Banana Sketch
 * Fozzie Bear does a classic routine, written by his writer, the legendary Gags Beasley, but the scene cuts to a backstage scene after Fozzie says the first line of the monologue. Seen in Episode 114: Sandy Duncan. Illustrated in The Muppet Show Book.


 * Banana in the Ear
 * Avery Schreiber comes to Fozzie's defense after Statler and Waldorf start heckling him. Avery says that he used to always be heckled by his partner, who refused to do such classics as the "Banana In The Ear" gag. Fozzie likes that act, so Avery gives him a banana. Fozzie doesn't get a reaction from the audience, but Avery decides to do it himself, and the crowd goes wild. Seen in Episode 116: Avery Schreiber.


 * In a Trunk
 * Fozzie Bear is locked in a trunk, so he has to tell his jokes from inside the trunk. Seen in Episode 117: Ben Vereen, and also included in Fozzie's Muppet Scrapbook.


 * Fozzie vs. the Audience
 * After getting some laughs, Fozzie finds that his identical cousin who's in the audience is telling jokes. Another member of the audience, Leo, tells Statler and Waldorf to quiet down, not because he doesn't want them interrupting Fozzie's act, but because he doesn't want them interrupting his sleep. After enough heckling, Fozzie turns around and demands that everybody who is not a real Fozzie Bear fan must leave the audience. He turns back, and only Statler and Waldorf stay. Seen in Episode 122: Ethel Merman.


 * Fozzie and Chuckie Time
 * Fozzie brings out his homemade ventriloquist dummy, Chuckie, and asks him questions, but Chuckie doesn't answer them. Apparently, Fozzie does not realize that the ventriloquist is supposed to do the talking for the dummy. Seen in Episode 207: Edgar Bergen. Also included in the compilation videos Fozzie's Muppet Scrapbook and It's The Muppets: More Muppets, Please!


 * Baskerville the Hound auditions
 * Baskerville the Hound auditions to be a comedian, wearing a hat and necktie like the ones Fozzie wears and even performing on Fozzie's usual set, but Fozzie drags Baskerville off-stage with a cane and calls out, "Next!" Seen in Episode 208: Steve Martin.


 * Fozzie on Roller Skates
 * Fozzie tells jokes while riding on roller skates, but he has trouble skating. Seen in Episode 215: Lou Rawls. Heard on The Muppet Show 2 and Muppet Hits. Included in Fozzie's Muppet Scrapbook.


 * Phrenology
 * Since Fozzie's mom is in the audience, he decides to do a special act, "Phrenology". He volunteers Kermit to assist him as he reads the bumps on Kermit's head to predict his future. Seen in Episode 216: Cleo Laine. Included in Fozzie's Muppet Scrapbook and It's The Muppets: Meet the Muppets.


 * Fozzie Pig
 * Fozzie Bear get's replaced by Fozzie Pig, a pig version of Fozzie. Seen in Episode 224: Cloris Leachman.


 * Fozzie's Memory Act
 * Annie Sue Pig saves Fozzie's act. Seen in Episode 302: Leo Sayer.


 * Fozzie Tells Jokes During At the Dance
 * Fozzie decides to give up comedy, and Kermit tells the audience the news. When the audience applauds over him quiting, Fozzie thinks they want him on-stage, so he decides not to quit. But it's too late, his act has been canceled, and At The Dance is on in his place. Fozzie goes on anyway, but the dancers finish his jokes for him. Seen in Episode 311: Raquel Welch.


 * Sawing a Lady in Half
 * Fozzie is a magician and asks for a female volunteer to be sawed in half. His volunteer is a female robot. Episode 320: Sylvester Stallone.


 * Fozzie's Mime Act
 * Inspired by mimes Shields and Yarnell, Fozzie does a mime act. Seen in Episode 403: Shields & Yarnell.


 * Lines Finished by Astoria
 * Whenever Fozzie starts a joke, Waldorf's wife, Astoria, finishes them. Seen in Episode 413: Dizzy Gillespie.


 * Fozzie's Magic Act
 * Seen in Episode 421: Doug Henning.


 * In The Woods
 * Fozzie tells jokes in the woods. Seen in Episode 503: Joan Baez and also included in Fozzie's Muppet Scrapbook.


 * Fozzie's Puppet Act
 * Fozzie decides to do a puppet act. Fozzie is up above the curtains working a clown marionette, and after it comes to life, it pulls Fozzie down. Seen in Episode 508: Señor Wences, and also included in Fozzie's Muppet Scrapbook.


 * Wally Whoopie
 * Fozzie is replaced by Wally Whoopie, the standup comedian for WHOG country radio, who makes fun of the bear. Seen in Episode 521: Johnny Cash.