News Flash: The First Day of School (transcript)

ANNOUNCER		We take you now to Kermit the Frog, with another fast-breaking news story!

''A paper airplane zooms by as we pan across a crowded classroom full of monsters, over to Kermit, talking to the sound operator. Cookie Monster sits behind Kermit, looking around anxiously and biting his nails.''

KERMIT		(to sound operator) Uh, no ... mostly, uh, I think, like, I think I got mostly C-minuses, you know. I-I was sort of a late bloomer. What? (notices he's on camera) Oh, uh, oh, hi-ho, this is Kermit the Frog of Sesame Street News, and I'm speaking to you from inside a typical classroom on the first day of school. And what an exciting day it is for all these students as they look forward to another wonderful school year. (gets out of his chair and walks around) Let's see if we can talk to some of the happy students before the teacher arrives. (approaches Cookie Monster) Uh, excuse me ...

COOKIE		(perks up) Uh, uh? Oh.

KERMIT		Uh, uh, wha-what's your name, please?

COOKIE		Uh, "Cookie Monster."

KERMIT		Cookie Monster, uh huh, a-and can you tell me, um, uh, how do you feel, what is going through your mind on this wonderful first day of school?

COOKIE		(leans towards Kermit) Me afraid.

KERMIT		Afraid?

COOKIE		Yeah.

KERMIT		What is there to be afraid of?

COOKIE		Well - what if teacher not like me? What if, what if me no can find pencil? (gasp, then whispers) What if me forgot where bathroom was? Hmm? (Kermit gulps) And what if teacher not understand me like cookies? (buries face in hand)

KERMIT		Yeah, uh, but, you're supposed to feel good about the first day of school.

COOKIE		Tha-that make it worse! Me only one who feel this way.

KERMIT		(nods) Hmm. Y-you know, come to think of it, I remember feeling scared and nervous on the first day of school.

COOKIE		(softly) Yeah?

KERMIT		(to the other monsters) Any of the rest of you feel that way?

MONSTERS		(random) Well - yeah. Yeah. Really scared. Yeah, I feel that way. Me too.

KERMIT		(nods) Mm-hmm.

COOKIE		Yeah? You mean - you mean, me not only one who feel scared?

KERMIT		(shakes head) Nope.

MONSTERS		(random, shaking heads no) No. No, me too.

COOKIE		Oh! Ohh! Me feel so much better! Thank you!

KERMIT		Uh, uh, oh, oh, look, uh, he-here comes your teacher now. (all the monsters disperse and take their seats)

COOKIE		Oh, oh, oh, oh ... (takes his seat, then whispers to Kermit) ... You know what? He not look scary.

KERMIT		No. See there? The-there's nothing to be scared of. I-I'm sure he'll understand if you forget things.

COOKIE		Even the cookies?

KERMIT		Mm-hmm. Even the cookies.

COOKIE		Oh, okay.

TEACHER		(not seen on camera) Hello, everyone, I'm Mr. Morley. I'll be your teacher this year.

KERMIT		(to camera, softly) Uh, uh, I'll just tip-toe out.

TEACHER		Uh, young frog? What's your name?

KERMIT		Uh, uh, Kermit the Frog, sir, Sesame Street News.

TEACHER		Kermit, would you take your seat, please?

KERMIT		Uh, but I'm afraid, uh, you see, you don't understand ...

TEACHER		I understand a lot of you are afraid on the first day of school, but that's no reason to leave.

KERMIT		(at a loss for words) Um ...

TEACHER		And now I'm going to show you your new books.

KERMIT		(to camera, softly) Uh, this is Kermit the Frog returning you to your regularly scheduled program.

TEACHER		Uh, now Kermit, you can't talk and listen at the same time, can you?

KERMIT		Uh, no, sir.

COOKIE		(to Kermit) Shhhh.

KERMIT		Ahem. (sits down)