Brian Henson Introductions

Generic Intros

 * Minor Characters


 * TRANSCRIPT: "Hi, I'm Brian Henson. The Muppet fans are sometimes really crazy people. It's amazing. Every crazy little walk-on character they know the names. So if you want a few facts that will impress your friends, tell them about these characters. Here's Wayne and Wanda. These two were an accident-prone singing duo who were in the pilot but only actually lasted throughout the first season. Or how about Betsy Bird? She was a beautiful eccentric dancing bird who appeared in several shows but she never really quite took off. Or here's Fleet Scribbler who's an abrasive tabloid reporter that the press loved but the show's writers couldn't stand. He was soon written out of the show. Just keep watching and you might see Fleet and a few other unsung Muppet heroes on The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 101: Juliet Prowse, Episode 119: Vincent Price, and Episode 320: Sylvester Stallone.)


 * Mock-Swedish


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. When I was a kid my father was so into gadgets... cars especially. And he had this tape that he used to play which was "How to Speak Mock Swedish". And he used to drive to work and I used to ride with him a lot. And he would drive to work trying to make a chicken sandwich in Mock Swedish or make a turkey casserole in Mock Swedish. It was the most ridiculous thing you had ever seen. And people at traffic lights used to stop and sort of look at him a little crazy. But that was the roots of the character that would eventually become The Swedish Chef. And if you watch The Swedish Chef one of the most exciting things about it is the head is just speaking away and trying to follow the hands which are grabbing meat cleavers and throwing chickens over his head. To me the best part about the Swedish Chef is the more you don't understand him, the more you love him. Here is The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 102: Connie Stevens, and Episode 122: Ethel Merman.)


 * The Great Gonzo


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. The Great Gonzo is one of our most popular characters. He's also one of our weirdest. My father first built the original Gonzo for a special called The Great Santa Claus Switch. They called him Cigar Box Frackle because he lived in a cigar box. When The Muppet Show started, performer Dave Goelz turned this puppet into The Great Gonzo, a daredevil obsessed with both art and danger. But throughout the first season, Gonzo's drooping eyelids tended to made him look sad. So Dave Goelz rebuilt the puppet himself with moving eyelids, so that he could be the artistic maverick he was meant to be. From that point on the character literally took off. Here he is, The Great Gonzo and The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 103: Joel Grey, and Episode 121: Twiggy.)


 * Sex and Violence


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. Before there was The Muppet Show, there was Sex & Violence which was the title of the original pilot of the series. But the big difference between the pilot and The Muppet Show was the host. My father tried to create a new character named Nigel. Eventually somebody said to my father, "Look, why don't you use Kermit? He was so great, why don't you put Kermit in as the host?" And that's really when the show really started to work. Of course the show had nothing to do with sex and violence but my dad thought it was certainly a real catchy title. Here's the show it eventually became." (used in Episode 104: Ruth Buzzi, and Episode 123: Kaye Ballard.)


 * Kermit


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. How do you explain the success of The Muppet Show? Well there were certainly a lot of important factors: like the guest stars, the outrageous Muppet characters and some perfectly absurd stories and sketches. But at the center of all of it was Kermit. Kermit was my father. My father first made Kermit out of a coat that belonged to my grandmother and through the years Kermit changed a little bit, looked a little bit different. and eventually became the Kermit that we all know. But what's wonderful about Kermit is he's the glue that holds all of these crazy zany characters together. Here it is, The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 106: Jim Nabors, and Episode 206: Nancy Walker.)


 * Growing Up With The Muppets


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. I grew up in a house full of Muppets. And friends of mine use to always ask "What's it like?", "It must be great fun.", 'It must be crazy." And the truth is the Muppets were always kind of awesome to me. And I have a lot of respect for the Muppets. My father use to work endlessly, hours and days on end... working all these pieces and making them just exactly right. Years later The Muppet Show went into over 100 countries, in 20 different languages. It was the first show to do that. Have a listen to this and you'll hear the way some of the characters sounded in other countries around the world. (A clip of Fozzie's monologue in French is shown with Staler and Waldorf heckling him in Mandarin.) Unfortunately for Fozzie, his jokes weren't any funnier in French or Mandarin. Enjoy the show." (used in Episode 107: Florence Henderson, and Episode 203: Milton Berle.)


 * Lew Grade


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. When people look at the Muppets, they think what a huge phenomenal success. But the truth is my father had to work very hard to get The Muppet Show to really work. In fact they shot two pilots for the series. Both times all the American networks looked at the shows and thought a puppet show can't work for adults. It's all too zany and crazy anyway. A very visionary entrepreneur in England contacted my father. His name was Sir Lew Grade and what he did was he invited The Muppets and my father to England to shoot a full season of the show. [Lew Grade:] "All we were doing is taking the chance with 24 episodes. I had no idea it would be such an extraordinary phenomenal success." The show ran five seasons and was seen in a hundred countries by more than 235 million children and adults. Now with special thanks to the late Lew Grade, here's The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 109: Charles Aznavour.)


 * Comedy


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. You know, comedy is really difficult. One thing that happens with comedy writers is that they are all really good at coming up with beginnings... really good set ups, but they can't figure out how to pay them off.Well now I'll share with you one of the real secrets to the Muppets. What my father figured out was if you can't get out, you just either blow something up, or you eat something, or you just throw penguins in the air. So here it is, The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 110: Harvey Korman, Episode 201: Don Knotts, Episode 305: Pearl Bailey, and Episode 523: Linda Ronstadt.)


 * Music


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. Music has been a big part of the Muppets since the very beginning. When my father started, his first show was called Sam and Friends. At that time, he used to perform with my mother and they would puppeteer lip-syncing to records. By the time of The Muppet Show my mother was now at home raising a house full of crazy kids, and the Muppets were singing with their own voices. And they sang with some of the greatest musical talents of our time: Paul Simon, Elton John, Diana Ross, and many, many more. Whether it's chickens playing chopsticks on the piano or a bunch of eskimo pigs singing "Lullaby of Broadway", you can never tell what you will hear next. Here it is, The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 111: Lena Horne, and Episode 204: Rich Little.)


 * Swedish Chef's Language


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. The Muppets have always gotten a lot of fan mail. Over the years, we've received thousands of letters and believe it or not, we do try to read and answer every one of them. The staff received a memorable letter from a Scandinavian businessman who saw the show while on a trip to London. He wrote to inform my father that The Muppet Show's so called Swedish Chef did not actually speak any real Scandinavian language, not even Swedish. The Muppet Show head writer Jerry Juhl sent a reply, saying "Thank you for bringing this to our attention. We were going to fire the Chef on the spot, but he has got a wife and family and he promises to take Swedish lessons." So here's the Swedish Chef and all of your other favorite Muppets on The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 112: Peter Ustinov, and Episode 211: Dom Deluise.)


 * Performing


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. Let me tell you a little bit about how we train to perform the Muppets. It's kind of an interesting process, because what we do is, we watch a monitor. It shows us what the camera is seeing and we reach up and we work the puppet with our other hand. It's a complicated process but the idea is, that you're meant to look into the monitor and bring to life that character and be the audience and the audience's point of view. Course it's real difficult, because when the character turns to the right, but the camera you see, is turning to the left which means you always have to think backwards. Of course it's the Muppets so thinking backwards comes naturally. Here's The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 113: Bruce Forsyth, Episode 215: Lou Rawls, Episode 316: Danny Kaye, Episode 513: Tony Randall, and Episode 518: Marty Feldman.)


 * Jim's Characters


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. Everyone knows that my father performed Kermit the Frog. But he also did a lot of other characters. He performed the Swedish Chef, Dr. Teeth, Rowlf the Dog, Waldorf, and Link Hogthrob.Link Hogthrob is actually one voice that I remember very well. As a kid, whenever my dad did some stereotypical fatherly chore, like carving the Thanskgiving turkey that would be the voice he would use. I guess when the character of this pompus, not-too-bright pig came along, he figured well that voice would fit just perfectly. See if you can tell which characters are my father's voices in this next episode of The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 114: Sandy Duncan, Episode 205: Judy Collins, Episode 322: Roy Rogers & Dale Evans, and Episode 407: Dudley Moore.)


 * Miss Piggy


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. The success of The Muppet Show was a surprise to us all, but perhaps the biggest surprise was the emergence of Miss Piggy. Different puppeteers picked her up and tried to perform her and she never amounted to much. And it wasn't until Frank Oz picked her up and he gave her that character and that life that made Miss Piggy what she is today. What he did was he created a mega-superstar. And now here's The Muppet Show starring as she would tell you of course, the fabulous Miss Piggy." (used in Episode 116: Avery Schreiber, and Episode 222: Teresa Brewser.)


 * Rowlf


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. Not many people know that Rowlf the Dog was actually the Muppets first network television star. Rowlf was originally built for a Purina Dog Food commercial. But he later gained fame with weekly appearances on The Jimmy Dean Show in the 1960's. Back then Rowlf was a quiet philosopher with a lot of punch lines. When The Muppet Show came along Rowlf became known more for his piano playing expertise. Kermit was my father's best known character, but a lot of people think he was more like Rowlf in real life except he couldn't play the piano as well. Here is another classic episode of The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 117: Ben Vereen, and Episode 216: Cleo Laine.)


 * Action Underneath


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. When you watch The Muppet Show, it's the only show on air where you're actually only seeing the top 18 inches of the action. And in a lot of ways, what goes on underneath the camera frame is just as exciting and sometimes more exciting than what's going on in front of the camera."

"You think about it. This is the way it is. The camera's shooting basically from the top of your head up to your hand and that's the way all the performers are working. They're all watching monitors to see what the camera can see and it's great fun watching the performers underneath, watching them jockeying for position and people reaching between each other trying to get to an arm rod. It's really a bit like watching a pit stop at an Indy 500 race. It's really quite impossible which is what makes it so much fun to do. Here's The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 118: Phyllis Diller, Episode 220: Petula Clark, Episode 409: Beverly Sills, and Episode 514: Mac Davis.)


 * Fozzie's Jokes


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. Fozzie Bear was originally conceived as a Bear who just told terrible, horrendously bad, unfunny jokes. But when Frank Oz got a hold of the character he added a layer of empathy so that Fozzie is always telling terrible jokes, but he's just trying so hard you've got to love him. The Muppet Show head writer Jerry Juhl points to one Fozzie sketch that crystallizes the Fozzie we all know and love. In this sketch there are more laughs in the interaction between Fozzie and Kermit than there are in the actual punch lines. Here's that fabulous, furry funny-man, Fozzie Bear in another episode of The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 120: Valerie Harper, and Episode 224: Cloris Leachman.)


 * The Audience


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. The Muppet Show was originally shot in Elstree just north of London and it was a wonderful process to watch. You'd walk out of these dingy London streets and then you'd go inside the station - this brightly colored crazy, frenetic energy. The way the show was shot, it took three frantic days to shoot each episode. One thing that was amazing is the audience for some reason always thought that the show was shot live which always astounded me because if you watch The Muppet Show, every shot is a special effect, there's a little trick going on everywhere and it took a lot of time and a lot of effort to pull that together. Of course the real audience for The Muppet Show as you see in the show is a bunch of Muppet monsters and various creatures. We always knew they would laugh at the right times. The monsters in the audience particularly enjoyed this show and I hope you do too. Enjoy." (used in Episode 124: Mummenschanz, and Episode 218: Jaye P. Morgan.)

Specific Intros

 * Rita Moreno


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. This episode of The Muppet Show stars Rita Moreno. She's one of my all time favorite guest stars. It also was the first episode that featured the long-running, long-punning sketch "Veterinarian's Hospital" which by the way, is pretty much where Miss Piggy got her start as well. Rita Moreno was the first performer to win an Oscar, a Tony, a Grammy, and an Emmy. She won her Emmy as 'Best Performance By a Guest on a Comedy-Variety Show" for her appearance in this episode. So here it is, The Muppet Show starring Rita Moreno." (used in Episode 105: Rita Moreno.)


 * Paul Williams


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. This early episode of The Muppet Show is hosted by singer, songwriter, actor Paul Williams. This appearance marks the beginning of a long relationship between Paul and the Muppets. He composed the music for The Muppet Movie, Emmett Otter's Jug-band Christmas and a film that I directed, The Muppet Christmas Carol. In this episode one of the moments that I always remember is Paul singing probably his best-known hit an Old Fashioned Love Song. Another great moment to watch for is Bunsen Honeydew's first appearance. You'll see that he's on his own and he's not with Beaker. Beaker didn't actually join the show until the following season. Here's Bunsen and Paul Williams in The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 108: Paul Williams.)


 * Candice Bergen


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi I'm Brian Henson. Welcome to The Muppet Show. I have a lot in common with this next guest star. Like me, Candice Bergen grew up in a house filled with puppets. Her father was of course Edgar Bergen whose characters included Charlie McCarthy and Mortimer Snerd. Candice was a particularly important guest star to The Muppet Show. She agreed to do the show in the first season when the way Americans looked at The Muppet Show was it was some strange puppet show shot for syndication and being shot in England it was very hard to book guest stars. But after she agreed to come do the show, it became much easier to convince others to star in the show. Here she is, Candice Bergen and The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 115: Candice Bergen.)


 * Zero Mostel


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. This episode of The Muppet Show stars Zero Mostel. At the time, Zero was an acting and comedy phenomenon. One of the funniest pieces in this episode is a classic monologue he performs called "The Fears of Zero" in which Zero's greatest anxieties appear to him as Muppet Monsters who gang up on him and eventually do away with him. Here it is, The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 202: Zero Mostel.)


 * Edgar Bergen


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. Everyone remembers the read-through for this particular episode of The Muppet Show. Edgar Bergen entered carrying a little black suitcase and every person in the room knew what was in that suitcase: Charlie McCarthy. Charlie was a legendary character on stage and on radio and then on TV. Frankly he was like a puppet hero to The Muppets. For you real Muppet fans this is the episode where Fozzie tries to be a ventriloquist and Gonzo wrestles a brick. Here it is, The Muppet Show with Edgar Bergen." (used in Episode 207: Edgar Bergen.)


 * Steve Martin


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi I'm Brian Henson. This episode of The Muppet Show stars Steve Martin. It was a very different kind of Muppet Show. There was no laugh track so you can actually hear the Muppet performers laughing along at what's going on. The episode features the talents of such legends as the strange alien Fazoobs and the Flying Zucchini Brothers, Marvin Suggs and his all-food glee club. All this and of course Steve Martin's balloon animals. Here he is, the wonderful Steve Martin in the Muppet Show." (used in Episode 208: Steve Martin.)


 * Madeline Kahn


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. This next episode of The Muppet Show stars Madeline Kahn. This show also features two timeless Muppet favorites, "Happy Feet" which is a classic tap-dance number that Kermit does. If you watch closely, you never actually see his feet; you don't ever see his legs or his feet which is the most ridiculous way to approach a tap dance number but it's a great piece. The other piece that's become a huge hit is a piece where The Swedish Chef is trying to cook a lobster and then these Bandito Lobsters come and save the lobster that the Chef is trying to cook. Here it is, Madeline Kahn and The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 209: Madeline Kahn.)


 * George Burns


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. George Burns is the guest star in this episode of The Muppet Show. One of my favorite bits to watch out for is the "Monster and Machine" sketch where the monster slowly eats the machine bit by bit has a wonderful and typically Muppet twist ending. After the shooting of this episode, my father received a thank you letter from George Burns. "At my age", it said, "Miss Piggy is starting to look good to me." Here he is, George Burns on The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 210: George Burns.)


 * Bernadette Peters


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi I'm Brian Henson. This episode of The Muppet Show features film and Broadway star Bernadette Peters. In this show, Kermit's nephew Robin feels too small to be noticed. And Bernadette comes and cheers him up with all the other Muppets in the first performance of the now, all-time classic Muppet song, "Just One Person". Since then we have used the song on so many occasions that many fans think it was written for us. It was actually co-written by Muppet Show musical director Larry Grossman, but for the musical "Snoopy". Here it is The Muppet Show with Bernadette Peters." (used in Episode 212: Bernadette Peters.)


 * Rudolph Nurejev


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. This episode of The Muppet Show stars Rudolf Nureyev. Nureyev is one of the 20th century's greatest ballet dancers, perhaps the last person you'd expect to find on The Muppet Show. They contacted Nureyev to find out what he wanted to do with The Muppets and he said I'd love to dance with Miss Piggy. Well of course with Miss Piggy it's kind of hard to do a ballet sequence because she's generally only seen from the waist up. So what they did was, they built this crazy, big, kind of goofy pig costume to dance with Nureyev. The dance floor was a little slick and Nureyev actually taught us a little trick. He says you mop the floor with Coca-Cola. So if you watch this episode check out the sticky floors and the extra large pig on The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 213: Rudolph Nurejev.)


 * Elton John


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. This episode of The Muppet Show stars Elton John. At the time that we did this show, he was just coming out of a phase where he was doing those flamboyant costumes, the most big crazy glasses and feathers everywhere and it was wonderful and that particularly excited The Muppets, the idea of having Elton on the show doing all that crazy stuff until they called him and asked him what he wanted to do and he said, "You know I'll do anything but what I really don't want to do is I don't want to do those crazy, flamboyant costumes with all big feathers and big glasses and stuff" so naturally that was a bit of a problem for The Muppets because that's what we were really looking forward to so this whole episode is about The Muppets really wanting him to do that flamboyant crazy look and him not wanting to but as always The Muppets always sort of win out in the end. Here it is, Elton John and The Muppets." (used in Episode 214: Elton John.)


 * Julie Andrews


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. This episode of The Muppet Show stars Julie Andrews. Julie and the Muppets had worked together several times before doing this episode in a number of TV specials. In fact in this show you'll see her sing a song with Kermit called "When You Were a Tadpole". She wrote this song earlier for one of her own specials. Another moment to look for in this episode is an appearance by a real cow. Now that sounds simple enough but you have to realize that every set is built five feet above the ground and it's really not meant to carry much weight. They had an awful lot of nervous puppeteers surrounding a very nervous cow on a five foot platform. The cow naturally wouldn't do anything he was meant to do but at least he didn't jump off the stage. Here it is, the cow, Julie Andrews and The Muppets in The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 217: Julie Andrews.)


 * Peter Sellers


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. This episode of The Muppet Show stars Peter Sellers. A very funny story about this episode is Peter basically said he wants to do anything on the show except for one piece. It was a piece called The Wall where Kermit would interview the guest star for 30 seconds just about themselves. Peter said, 'I can't do that, I can't be myself. Ask me to do anything but don't ask me to be myself. I'll be Queen Victoria but I don't know how to be me.' Naturally The Muppet Show writers did a wonderful piece where they had him play Queen Victoria. Here it is, The Muppet Show with Peter Sellers." (used in Episode 219: Peter Sellers.)


 * Bob Hope


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. This episode of The Muppet Show stars the legendary Bob Hope. Bob Hope and The Muppets worked together quite a lot over the years. The Muppets were guests on several of his specials and Bob did cameos in "The Muppet Movie" and the special, "Miss Piggy's Hollywood". In this episode Bob was always on his way in or out of the theatre going from one benefit engagement to another. His schedule in real life was so tight that he only had time for one production number and a few talk spots. The show ends with that production number "Don't Fence Me In" between Bob and his Muppet horse. It's a very funny effect where the puppeteers who were working the feet and the head were dressed in blue and then matted out of the scene so that you don't see them. It's a great sequence; here it is and Bob Hope in The Muppet Show." (used in Episode 221: Bob Hope.)


 * John Cleese


 * TRANSCRIPT:"Hi, I'm Brian Henson. This episode of The Muppet Show stars John Cleese. John particularly became very close with The Muppets and he immediately created a bond with the writers of The Muppet Show and he wanted to get involved in the writing. So together they came up with this ridiculous concept where John doesn't want to be on the show so the great thing is this whole Muppet Show is about The Muppets trying to get John to be on the show but John's trying to get off the show. One great scene to watch for is where John tries to fix Gonzo's arms and ends up stretching them six feet long and ends up knotting his arms all around his body. But the more he hurts Gonzo of course the more Gonzo loves it and here's the episode; I hope you love it." (used in Episode 223: John Cleese.)


 * Gilda Radner


 * Alice Cooper


 * Liberace


 * Raquel Welch


 * Harry Belafonte


 * John Denver


 * Kenny Rogers


 * Liza Minnelli


 * Star Wars


 * Diana Ross


 * Gene Kelly


 * James Coburn


 * Brooke Shields


 * Senor Wences


 * Debbie Harry


 * Paul Simon


 * Carol Burnett


 * Wally Boag


 * Roger Moore