MuppetFest Memories

Following the Muppetfest fan convention on December 8th and 9th, 2001, a description of the convention was printed in "Muppetfest Memories", a self-published fanzine by Danny Horn, which was sold through the Tough Pigs website. The text of the fanzine is reprinted here, with permission.

The zine began with a disclaimer: "This zine is a collection of my memories and notes from the 2001 Muppetfest convention. Like all memories, some of the contents may have shifted during transit. If you notice that I've left things out, or misheard quotes, then please feel free to make your own darn zine."

Day One: Introduction
Saturday's host: Kirk Thatcher, Muppet writer who co-wrote Muppet Treasure Island and Muppets Tonight.

Kirk enters holding the Emmy he won for Muppets Tonight. He says that he carries the Emmy around "to meet hot chicks."

He's going to introduce the Muppet performers today. These people have won a lot of awards, but they're very shy about them. "They won't tell you how great they are, so that's my job. I'm the gusher. I'm the company big mouth."

Kirk takes a quick poll, asking the audience to raise their hands if they've come from far away. He ends up with everyone's hand in the air, and he instructs us to keep our hands up. He mostly goes to Star Trek conventions, and Muppet fans need something as cool as "Live Long and Prosper". He's going to teach us the Muppet Salute.

The Muppet Salute goes like this: If you meet a fellow Muppet fan, you raise your hand like it's a puppet, and you say, "Hi ho!" Then, if you're greeted by a female fan, her response is: "Kissy kissy!" If you're greeted by a male Muppet fan, his response is: "Wocka wocka!"

Kirk practices the Muppet Salute with us a couple of times, and doesn't let us put our hands down. "The reason I asked you to keep your hands up is to show you what these Muppet performers go through every day of their lives!"

Next, Kirk introduces a special message from a big star. "It's a big deal getting her to do anything these days... I'm talking, of course, about Hillary Clinton." The video screen comes down -- but there's technical problems, and they can't figure out how to run the tape of Miss Piggy's message. "Isn't that very Muppet Show!"

Kirk vamps for a while. "So, you're all wondering... What's it like to win an Emmy?" To fill the time while the techs figure out what's wrong, Kirk asks the audience trivia questions. What's the Muppets' name in Germany? Nobody knows. "Das Muppets, guys, of course. Come on!"

The video screen lights up -- with live Muppets, backstage! Rizzo, Gonzo, Clifford, Floyd Pepper and Pepe all appear on the screen, and they're all yelling at Kirk.


 * Clifford: "Kirk, why are you messing up?"


 * Pepe: "Kirk, please -- make this show go all right, okay? This is very bad, okay."

Kirk announces the new show: Who Wants to Marry a Muppet Guy?


 * Gonzo: "I'm single!"


 * Rizzo: "Anybody out there cute and small?"


 * Kirk: "I think they're underage."


 * Gonzo: "Of course they're underage, if they're ten inches tall!"

Floyd and Clifford exit to go to the bathroom, followed by Rizzo. Gonzo stays behind: "I'm not going to the bathroom... Oh. Yes, I am." The Muppets all leave.

Finally, they play the recorded message from Miss Piggy, who informs us, "It is with great regret that I cannot be with you at Muppetfest, but celebritude brings so many demands... But it is moi's pleasure, and contractual obligation, to bring to you the Chairman and CEO of the Jim Henson Company -- I have no idea what he does -- Brian Henson!"

Brian Henson enters and welcomes us to Muppetfest. He says that Jim Henson always had a vision -- and then he would involve a lot of other people, and then the vision would come out completely different. "In the Muppets, everyone tries to upstage everyone else -- and whoever wins, gets a bigger role next week. So the winners, you'll meet. And the losers... You can book them for your next birthday party. I know, that's really mean."

Brian says that this weekend, we'll get to meet all the real people behind the Muppets. Then the Muppets appear on the video screen again...


 * Rizzo: "People? No people! We're supposed to talk about Muppets!"


 * Pepe: "Brian... por favor, no peoples. What about us?"


 * Rizzo: "We're walking! The door's right there... I'm walking!"

Brian promises the Muppets that they'll get their chance this weekend too.

The History of The Muppet Show
Brian introduces the Muppet Show panel:

Dave Goelz is one of the core Muppet performers, best known for performing Gonzo, Bunsen Honeydew and Boober Fraggle.

Steve Whitmire is another core Muppet performers, who has performed Kermit the Frog since 1990. He also performs Rizzo the Rat and Wembley Fraggle.

Jerry Nelson has been a core Muppet performer since 1965. He performs Floyd Pepper, Robin the Frog and Gobo Fraggle.

Amy van Gilder was the head of the Muppet Workshop during The Muppet Show.

Paul Williams was the songwriter who wrote the music for Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas, The Muppet Movie, and The Muppet Christmas Carol. He was also a guest on The Muppet Show.

Martin Baker was the Floor Manager on The Muppet Show, and has since become one of Henson's main producers. Brian says that Martin is particularly important to him: "One of the few reasons why the company continued after my father's death was because of this man, who brought us all together." Martin has produced everything that Brian has ever directed. "If anybody holds the spirit of the Muppets and my father in his heart, he's the guy."

Brian moderates the panel. "Of course, during The Muppet Show, I was in school, so I don't know anything." He gives a brief history of the Muppets from Sesame Street to The Muppet Show.

Amy talks about a typical week working on The Muppet Show. It was remarkable that during the week of production, everybody would mingle and play in the Workshop. "We were respected as creative artists, and it was incredible to have that respect. I work for Walt Disney now..." The name "Walt Disney" gets a murmur of boos from the audience. Amy grimaces: "It's... very different. It's not as spontaneous. We don't have writers just coming in." She misses working on The Muppet Show. "I'm so sad that it's over... and it's been over for twenty years!"

Paul: "The very best part of my career has involved the Muppets." On the set of The Muppet Show, "there was an ability to play, and a respect for hard work." When you're standing with Steve and Kermit, and Dave and Gonzo... "there are five of you in the conversation! The thing about the Muppets is that nothing is sacred, and no one is safe... To this day, the most important work I've done has been with the Muppets, and it's been a real honor."

Martin describes meeting Jim Henson in the late 60s. Martin was working on The Tom Jones Show in England, and the Muppets were booked on the show. Martin had never heard of the Muppets before. Jim and Frank Oz flew to London together, and Martin was responsible for booking the limo to take them to the studio. Jim said he didn't want a limo -- just send him a train schedule, and they'll take the train. Martin was impressed by Jim, and they really connected when they worked together. Martin later worked with Jim on a Herb Alpert special, and on the Julie on Sesame Street special. Jim and Martin became close, and Martin became a part of the core production staff on The Muppet Show.

Jerry describes the excitement of joining the Muppets in the 60s, when the company was only five people. He talks about Richard Hunt: "Richard was kind of the bad boy on the team... and so all us kids loved him." Some glass breaks offstage. Jerry says, "He's here in spirit! That would be Richard."

Dave: "I hadn't thought about what I was going to say, but I'm just gonna go through everything that's happened to me since 1973." He describes watching Sesame Street when it premiered -- being fascinated by Ernie and Bert, and wanting to meet the Muppeteers. "I wanted to know who they were, and I thought they would just be hippies. It turned out that they were really hard-working people." Jim invited Dave to come and visit the Muppets in 1973, and Dave showed up when they were working on a program. Dave didn't know what he was supposed to do. "Jane told me, 'I'm sure Jim will find something for you to do,'... and that was twenty-eight and a half years ago."

Steve describes his job interview with the Muppets. He was a puppeteer working on a local kid's show in DC, and he managed to get an interview with Henson. He met Jim, Jane and some of the other Muppet staff in an airport, and he took out his puppet and performed for a while. He wasn't doing that well, but there were some kids sitting in the cafeteria at the airport, and Steve interacted with the kids. He says that the reason he got hired was because of those kids in the airport.

The panel takes questions from the audience.

Jerry is asked how he comes up with so many voices. He says that he has to see a puppet to really develop a character. It doesn't work if he only gets a script and a song. Sometimes, he has to record a song before he gets to see the puppet, "but that's very dangerous."

Paul is asked if he got to keep the puppet version of himself that appeared on The Muppet Show. Paul says that he has it: "Oddly, it ages and I don't." For a while, the puppet was displayed on his piano, but the sun faded it.

Dave: "I think there's a warranty!"

Steve is asked his favorite character. He says it's Rizzo, who's much more sarcastic than the others, and therefore more fun.

Brian: "Rizzo is the Dark Steve."

The panel ends; they get a standing ovation.

[More Muppetfest Memories to be added soon...]

Henson Clips
Kirk comes out with his Emmy to introduce the Henson Clips reel. His image is being broadcast on the screen behind him. He turns around to look at it: "Now I know what I look like from behind! I'm hot!... And I have an Emmy!" They roll the clips...

Sam and Friends: Kermit interviews puppet versions of Chet Huntley and David Brinkley. All the dialogue from the newsmen is taken from two sound clips: "Chet Huntley, NBC News, New York" and "David Brinkley, NBC News, Washington."

Wilkins Coffee: Wilkins has four cups of coffee. Wontkins asks why he drinks so much Wilkins Coffee. Wilkins says he won't answer: "I'm taking the fifth!"

The Steve Allen Show: Steve Allen introduces "two young college students, Jim Henson and Jane Nebel!" Kermit sings "I've Grown Accustomed to Your Face" to Yorick, who eats his own costume and then starts noshing on Kermit's leg.

Southern Bread commercial: The Colonel promises to do anything to prove his love for Southern Bread -- even take a rocket to the moon! The rocket explodes.

The Creature Shop
David Barrington-Holt introduces a series of film clips by the Creature Shop, from The Dark Crystal, Labyrinth, Lost in Space and Jack Frost. One of the big surprises of the presentation is a clip of test footage from Dragonheart; the Creature Shop originally worked on a dragon puppet for that film, but the producers eventually chose to use a CGI dragon. They also show a clip from Farscape, which leads to a special appearance...

Claudia Black
Kirk announces a special surprise guest: Claudia Black, from Farscape! Claudia pretends to punch Kirk across the face as she enters the stage. She welcomes everyone to Muppetfest, and says that she's there because she's a Muppet fan too. The reason why she accepted the role on Farscape is because she wanted to work with the Henson company. She thanks us all for being here, and for keeping the Muppet spirit alive.

Timepiece
Lisa Henson introduces Timepiece, Jim's 1965 Academy Award-nominated short. In the film, a man (played by Jim) waits in a hospital bed for his doctor's report. The ticking of the clock and the thumping of his heartbeat form the background for a wild fantasy about mortality, and the inevitable passage of time.

Bear
Bear from the Big Blue House makes an appearance. He sings "The Bear Cha Cha Cha" and "The Goodbye Song".

Muppet Q&A
Kirk introduces the Muppet Performers for the Muppet Q&A segment: Jerry Nelson, Kevin Clash, Steve Whitmire, Dave Goelz, Bill Barretta and Brian Henson. The performers each have a box of puppets next to them. They take questions from the audience, and they bring different puppets up from the box to answer the questions.

Q: Do the performers ever switch characters?

Kevin brings up Elmo. Kevin describes how Elmo was originally performed by Richard Hunt, but he couldn't make the character work -- so at one point, Richard unceremoniously threw Elmo across the room at Kevin, and told him to try it.

Q for Elmo: Why is your goldfish named Dorothy?


 * Elmo: "Because. No, it's because Elmo loves The Wizard of Oz."

There are no more questions for Elmo.


 * Elmo: "You're tired of Elmo already!"


 * Kirk: "We have other characters, Elmo... Don't hog the show! You've already taken over Sesame Street!"

Q for Floyd: Is he still tight with Janice?


 * Floyd: "Well... Janice ain't so tight anymore."

(This completely breaks Bill and Steve.)


 * Elmo: "Elmo doesn't understand the question! Could you explain the question, Mr. Floyd? Cause Elmo learned on Sesame Street... if you don't understand something, always ask!"

Rizzo comes up.


 * Rizzo: "Who's this little fire hydrant here?"


 * Elmo: "Hello, Rizzo!"


 * Rizzo: "Thanks."

Gonzo comes up.


 * Gonzo: "Does anybody have a question? I bet it's a sick one."

Q for Gonzo about Camilla.


 * Gonzo: "Be careful what you say, she's backstage."

Q: Are you and Camilla still dating?


 * Gonzo: "That is such a rude question. I wouldn't ask you something like that about your personal life. I'm just an alien dating poultry -- do you mind?"

Q for Gonzo: Do you ever talk to your family in space?


 * Gonzo: "We did, until my phone card ran out. Now we just e-mail."

Pepe comes up, to great applause.


 * Pepe: "I'm incredible, huh?"

Q for Pepe: Are you still in touch with Seymour, or have you lost touch with the little people now that you're a big star?


 * Pepe: "I don't know about Seymour being a little person, okay? We talk... He has a condo in Florida. He's taking it easy. But, maybe he'll be back... Right, Brain?"


 * Brian: "We decided Seymour wasn't as funny as Pepe."


 * Pepe: "That is true."

Johnny Fiama and Sal come up.


 * Johnny: "It's great to be here in Hoboken!"

The other Muppets tell him that this is Santa Monica.


 * Johnny: "Sal! You messed up again!"


 * Sal: "Santa Monica? That's not what it said on the outside of the box when they shipped us."

Johnny sings "You Make Me Feel So Young".

Kevin is asked a question about working on Labyrinth -- but while he's answering, Dave brings up Bunsen, who gets a whoop of applause. It's obvious that we don't really want to hear from the people. The Muppets are the rock stars.

Bunsen observes that he thought he was traveling in the box with Beaker... but now that he looks in the box, he finds that it's Phil van Neuter.

Brian takes the Phil puppet, grumbling that Phil is "the hardest puppet in the world to perform..." Bill performs Phil's hands.


 * Bunsen: "I'm sorry, Mr. Brian. Now I may be fired."


 * Phil: "A E I O U! I'm Dr. Phil van Neuter!... That's all I've got."

Q for Phil: Are you working on anything these days?


 * Phil: "Yes, I have a lot of TV projects... and a feature... and I also have a live tour that I'm working on."

Bunsen approaches Phil. They're both scientists, but they've never really worked together before. Bunsen observes that Phil is very nervous and timid -- what's the problem? Phil starts to answer, but Bunsen interrupts him.


 * Bunsen: "Would it be all right if I twiddled your ear a little bit? Woogie woogie woogie!"

Q: Were any of the puppets more problematic on the set than the others?


 * Phil: "Why is everybody looking at me?''

Clifford, Kermit and Sal come up.

Kermit surveys the audience: "If something happened here, it could wipe out the entire fanbase."

Q: An audience member comes to the mike dressed in a full-body Kermit costume, and asks in a Kermit voice if he can ask a question.


 * Sal: "That's incredibly scary."


 * Gonzo: "This is probably the only time in your life that you could ask the question and have people pay attention to you."

The Kermit-costumed audience member switches to an Elmo impression.


 * Sal: "Oh my God! That frog ate Elmo!"

Q: Another audience member says that he sent Kermit an invitation to the wedding, but Kermit never showed up.


 * Pepe: "I was there!"


 * Gonzo: "He was in the cocktail sauce."


 * Kermit: "This is turning into the Muppet Fan Gripe Session."

Pepe announces that he has a new doll: "Peel and Eat Pepe".


 * Gonzo: "Wow. That's sick."

Q: An audience member introduces herself as an "eligible bachelorette", and asks Pepe to tell her about himself.


 * Pepe: "Well, I come from Malaga, which is in the southern part of Spain. I am twenty-one years old..."


 * Gonzo: "No, you're not twenty-one..."


 * Pepe: "I am twenty-one, si... I am not currently dating... And I am orange. Now, you tell me about yourself."

The audience member thanks Pepe.


 * Pepe: "It's a pleasure to meet you. Call me sometime!"

Q: Can the Muppets do impressions of each other?


 * Floyd: "It's only gonna be a one-word impression..." [Elmo voice:] "No!"

Pepe does a Gonzo impression by moving his mouth while Dave does the Gonzo voice.


 * Gonzo: "How did you do that? This is an outrage!"

Gonzo does his Pepe impression the same way: "I just want to say that all of you coming to see us, it is a big important thing, okay."

Elmo does an impression of Ernie's laugh, which gets applause.


 * Elmo: "Thank you! Thank you! Money! Throw money!"


 * Pepe: "Pesos! Pesos!"

Floyd does an impression of Robin the Frog, singing "Halfway Down the Stairs".


 * Sal: "That is scary!"

Q for Kevin: Why is Clifford back in sunglasses?

Kevin says that it wasn't his decision to take the shades off when Clifford hosted Muppets Tonight. "I thought the character was in the glasses. Now they're back... I like it with the glasses."

Q for the Muppets: Is there anything you'd like to say to your performer?


 * Kermit: "We never talk to these people."


 * Gonzo: "What are you talking about?"


 * Pepe: "Yes, I would like to tell Bill Barretta... be very careful with your hands."

The panel ends; the Muppets get a huge standing ovation.

Muppet Music
Kirk does an impression of William Shatner singing "The Rainbow Connection" while the band sets up.

Jerry, Kevin and Bill come out to sing with the band. They sing "Mahna Mahna", with Jerry and Bill trading solos. They also sing "Mississippi Mud" and "Cabin Fever".