Episode 424: Diana Ross



Statler and Waldorf rate the show like Olympic judges. First, they give Kermit a 2. Then, they give the opening a 3, but the audience demands they bring it down to a zero. All of the Muppets get low scores (though Fozzie's "1" is a compliment by them), and Gonzo even gets a -6. The Muppets think it's just a tough audience, but Diana gets 10's every time which gives her high scores.

Summary
At the beginning, Statler and Waldorf inform Kermit that they're keeping score of The Muppet Show. They give him a 2. At the end of the opening number of I Go to Rio, due to a demand of the audience, Statler and Waldorf give it a zero. Fozzie Bear decides to go on stage after that. Unfortunately, the audience boos him off the stage. Despite his comedy act being called off, Waldorf gives Fozzie a 1. (Statler: "You gave him a 1?" Waldorf: "He's never been better.") Kermit introduces the next number featuring Diana Ross with Love Hangover. So now, the score is Diana Ross: 10, Muppets: 3. The Gills Brothers go on stage next with the song Aunty Chovy, but get booed off the stage and are reduced to fishbones. Kermit informs Diana that while the audience loves her, it's the Muppets they hate. Diana suggests Pigs in Space, but at the end, it was no good at all. Neither was Beaker singing Feelings. So Kermit introduces the next number with Diana with the song of Last Time I Saw Him. The second score of 10 adds up to 20 for Diana. When Kermit asks for volunteers to go on the stage, everybody especially Fozzie runs away. Of course, who should be the volunteer but Gonzo the Great. Since there is no typewriter, he plans to use a cow and states his act as indescribable. Unfortunately, the audience boos him off the stage for good and Waldorf gives his act a -6. Frustrated by the riot, Kermit gets Diana back on stage to restore order. Diana decides to do a comedy act with Fozzie, much to the bear's horror. But when Diana and Fozzie tell a joke together, the audience cheers. Along with the rest of the Muppets, Diana Ross sings Reach Out and Touch. At the end of the show, Fozzie tells a joke to Diana, but the joke was so bad that the audience booed him.

Songs/Sketches

 * A bunch of small animals sing "I Go to Rio" on the beach
 * Diana performs "Love Hangover", dancing with Fletcher Bird
 * The Gills Brothers sing "Aunty Chovy" and wind up as skeletons after the audience boos them off the stage.
 * Pigs in Space: Gas Lighter
 * UK Spot: Beaker sings "Feelings," which he renders as "Mee-Mee." The audience boos Beaker, and Animal quiets them down.
 * Diana sings "Last Time I Saw Him" with The Electric Mayhem
 * Diana sings "Reach Out and Touch" with the Muppets for a closing number

Cast
Muppets:
 * Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy, Statler and Waldorf, Gonzo, Scooter, The Gills Brothers, Floyd Pepper, Animal, Link Hogthrob, Julius Strangepork, Beaker, Female Singers, Penguins, Parrots, Lizards, Eric the Parrot, Alfonso D'Bruzzo, Fletcher Bird

Background Muppets:
 * Lenny the Lizard, Quongo, Rizzo the Rat, Annie Sue Pig, Rowlf, Dr. Teeth, Janice, Zoot, Zeke, Bobby Benson, Gawky Birds, Shark, Whatnots

Performers

 * Jim Henson as Kermit the Frog, Link Hogthrob and Waldorf
 * Frank Oz as Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy and Animal
 * Jerry Nelson as Floyd Pepper, Dr. Julius Strangepork, Eric the Parrot and Gills Brother
 * Richard Hunt as Scooter, Beaker, Statler, a Lizard and Gills Brother
 * Dave Goelz as Gonzo
 * Steve Whitmire as Rizzo the Rat, Female Singer and a Penguin
 * Louise Gold as Alfonso D'Bruzzo and Female Singer
 * Kathy Mullen as Female Singer

Edits

 * Nickelodeon: The Gills Brothers act was cut.
 * CTS: The UK spot with Beaker singing "Feelings" was cut.