Veterinarian's Hospital



Dr. Bob, Nurse Piggy, and Nurse Janice as portrayed by Rowlf the Dog, Miss Piggy, and Janice appear in this recurring sketch where they tell bad jokes and fail at curing their patients of their ailments.

In Season One, The Announcer was played by John Lovelady, and opened each sketch with, "And now, the continuing story of a former orthopedic surgeon who's gone to the dogs." In subsequent seasons he is played by Jerry Nelson and opens the sketch with, "And now, the continuing stoooory of a quack who's gone to the dogs," and ends each sketch with "Tune in next week when you'll hear Nurse Piggy say..." (or he'd substitute the name of another character in the scene). Occasionally, however, Jerry would supply the voiceover in season one.

Fozzie Bear

 * Janice is late because she was operating in another room. ("It's the talk of the hospital," says Dr. Bob.) Fozzie is the patient, and when Dr. Bob considers not operating, Janice tells him that he's the only one who can save him. Dr. Bob claims to have saved 100 last year (dollars, not patients), but he also lost 200 pounds (not in weights, but in England).
 * --Episode 105: Rita Moreno

Dead Patient

 * The patient, a piece of blue fur, is dead.
 * --Episode 109: Charles Aznavour

Hiccupping Patient

 * A patient has the hiccups, but Dr. Bob is more concerned with his own problems, such as being overworked and underpaid. The patient eventually explodes, and decides to quit while he's ahead.
 * --Episode 110: Harvey Korman

Duck

 * The patient is a duck, but Dr. Bob keeps confusing it with a chicken.
 * --Episode 113: Bruce Forsyth

Old Man

 * Dr. Bob leaves his watch inside an old blue Whatnot.
 * --Episode 114: Sandy Duncan

Behemoth

 * Behemoth is at the hospital for a tummy ache and a sore throat. Dr. Bob hits his tummy with a hammer, giving him a tummy ache, but the patient explains that he has a sore throat and wants it to go away. Turns out he has a frog in his throat, and it's Kermit.
 * --Episode 115: Candice Bergen

Chicken

 * Dr. Bob operates on a chicken. (Look closely and you'll see that the chicken only has one eyelid).
 * --Episode 116: Avery Schreiber

George the Janitor

 * George is the patient, but he doesn't feel any better at this hospital. Dr. Bob is told that he has given the hospital a bad name, and he agrees...Fred is a terrible name for a hospital.
 * --Episode 117: Ben Vereen
 * Note: This sketch can be heard on The Muppet Show (LP).

Bread

 * The patient is a talking loaf of bread. What does Dr. Bob make of it? Toast!
 * --Episode 118: Phyllis Diller

Three-Legged Screaming Thing

 * The three-legged creature from "Windmills of Your Mind" is the patient. He has three left feet, but also has some feet in Cincinnati.
 * --Episode 201: Don Knotts

Fozzie Returns

 * Fozzie is back in the hospital.
 * --Episode 204: Rich Little

At the Dance

 * Fozzie accidently schedules two sketches at once, Veterinarian's Hospital and At the Dance.
 * --Episode 206: Nancy Walker

Telephone

 * Dr. Bob operates on a telphone.
 * --Episode 210: George Burns

Cow

 * The audience demands to see Miss Piggy. The patient is a cow, and Dr. Bob and both nurses make several cow jokes.
 * --Episode 211: Dom DeLuise
 * Note: This sketch can also be seen on It's The Muppets: More Muppets, Please!

Shoe

 * --Episode 212: Bernadette Peters

Shakespeare Jokes

 * --Episode 213: Rudolf Nureyev

Baskerville the Hound

 * --Episode 214: Elton John

Dr. Bob Does a Sketch Twice

 * Dr. Bob asks who the Announcer is, and the Announcer answers, "I'm the guy who says, 'Welcome to Veterinarian's Hospital, the continuing stoooory of a quack who's gone to the dogs...'" and the sketch is repeated.
 * --Episode 215: Lou Rawls
 * Note: This sketch can also be seen on Muppet Treasures.

Hungry Operating Table

 * --Episode 220: Petula Clark

Vegetarian's Hospital

 * Dr. Bob and Nurse Janice have been replaced by pigs. This sketch was a UK Spot.
 * --Episode 224: Cloris Leachman

Train Conductor

 * The patient is a train conductor, who can only say "All aboard!"
 * --Episode 308: Loretta Lynn

Recording Room Sound Guy

 * One of the sound men from the "Blue" number appears as the patient.
 * --Episode 313: Helen Reddy

Hawaiian Pig

 * One of the pigs from the "Hawaiian War Chant" number is the patient.
 * --Episode 320: Sylvester Stallone

Old Lady

 * --Episode 404: Dyan Cannon

Robin the Frog

 * --Episode 406: Linda Lavin

Kermit the Frog

 * Kermit is the patient. Dr. Bob and Nurse Janice crack jokes about both Kermit's condition and Nurse Piggy's love for him.
 * --Episode 410: Kenny Rogers.
 * Note: This sketch can also bee seen on It's The Muppets: Meet the Muppets.

Best Sketch of the Year?

 * --Episode 412: Phyllis George

Pig Patient

 * --Episode 413: Dizzy Gillespie

Dr. Bob

 * Christopher Reeve replaces Dr. Bob while Bob is the patient.
 * --Episode 418: Christopher Reeve

???

 * --Episode 421: Doug Henning

Rabbit

 * --Episode 422: Andy Williams.
 * Note: This sketch can also be seen on Muppet Treasures.

On the Swinetrek

 * --Episode 423: Carol Channing

Beauregard

 * Beauregard is worried sick because he thinks that the world is coming to an end. The sketch ends with the announcer falling on Beauregard.
 * --Episode 501: Gene Kelly

Nurse Loretta

 * Loretta Swit replaces Nurse Piggy.
 * --Episode 502: Loretta Swit
 * Note: This sketch can also be see on Playhouse Video: The Kermit and Piggy Story.

Pinocchio

 * Pinocchio is at the hospital because his nose grows every time he tells a lie.
 * --Episode 508: Senor Wences

Gonzo

 * Gonzo is only in the hospital for laughs. This sketch was a UK Spot.
 * --Episode 511: Paul Simon

Viking

 * --Episode 524: Roger Moore