Bert's books

A collection of books that Bert has read.

Picture	Title / Sketch	Quote/Notes
	All About Air Discovery of Air	"Air is all around us, but we can't see it... One way we know that air is there is when we see it move things. Air moves things like sailboats, and kites, and pinwheels."
	Bonfire of the Oatmeal Trying to Read	In order not to disturb Bert while reading, Ernie wears headphones to listen to the radio. Now Bert can't hear anything... except Ernie singing along very loudly.
	Boring Stories Ernie's Disguise Kit	At one point, the prince drinks a glass of water. This book also appears in the storybook The Many Faces of Ernie and was released as an accessory with a Bert action figure by NECA.
	Bottlecaps^[1] Exploring the Senses	"There were only 24 Peach Ripple bottlecaps ever made."
	The Complete History of Oatmeal Episode 5505	Bert donates the rather voluminous text to Charlie's little library.
	Cooking with Oatmeal Glass of water	"For Oatmeal Surprise, just take twelve cups of oatmeal, melba toast and an avocado..."
	Cooking with Oatmeal Rhyming Game and Talk Slower	"Take four cups of oatmeal, two pitted mangoes... buttermilk..."
	Cooking with Oatmeal Fresh Prince parody
	The Exciting Adventures of Eunice Elmo's World: Books	The book is about Eunice, a mail-carrying pigeon.
	The Face of the Tiger What's in Ernie's clothes	Title isn't mentioned or obvious onscreen, but the prop book is an actual mystery novel by Ursula Curtiss.
	Feathered Fairy Tales Ernie's Guess What I Am Game	"Mama Pigeon said... Someone's been eating my birdseed. And the Baby Pigeon said, 'Someone's been eating my birdseed, and they ate it allll up."
	Fifty Shades of Oatmeal Episode 4425	"1. Beige, 2. Tan. (Wow, this is steamy stuff!) 3. Ecru."
	Goldilocks and the Three Bottlecaps Bert's Imagination	Bert calls it his favorite book. The opening line is the traditional, "Once upon a time."
	Goodnight Pigeon Milton Bradley puzzle	Bert ignores his peers at a sleepover.
	The Great Gatsby^[1] Safety First!	"In my younger and more vulnerable years, a pigeon gave me some advice."
	Guide to the Stars' Homes Milton Bradley puzzle	Bert consults an astronomy book while Ernie gazes at the night sky through a telescope.
	History of Oatmeal (by Molly MacGruel) Episode 4034	"What is better than a piping, hot bowl of oatmeal? History tells us...lumpy oatmeal has its roots in the Industrial Revolution...the railroad brought oatmeal to the West...Chapter 5: Aviation, Oatmeal and the Impressionists."
	The History of Oatmeal social media	Specified as the unabridged version and subtitled, "A slow-cooked retelling." Posted to various social media platforms on October 26, 2023. [1]
	Laugh Out Loud Pigeon Jokes Grover's Cute and Adorable Book of Books	Ernie teases Bert while he attempts to read his book, which boasts of containing over 100 jokes. The cover depicts a pigeon wearing Groucho glasses.
	Little Red Riding Hood Take Turns Reading and Drumming	"Once upon a time, there was a little girl who wore a red cape, so they called her Little Red Riding Hood."
	Math and Me Count on Sports	Bert: "What a way to spend the day. A book, some math, and me."
	The Metamorphosis^[1] The Emotional Duckie	"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning, he found himself transformed into a gigantic pigeon." The same book later appears in "Make 'Em Laugh."
	My Pigeon Book Play with Me Sesame	Bert: "I'm having fun reading My Pigeon Book."
	Out and In Out and In	Bert: "It's full of in-jokes."
	Pigeons^[1] Friends watching	Through his binoculars, Ernie observes Bert reading his book, even though he's closer to Bert than he needs to be.
	Pigeon Joke Book^[1] Bert reads from his pigeon joke book	Bert tries out some jokes on Ernie before killing it with the pigeons in the park. He can't wait to go home and try them out on Bernice and Arnold.
	Pigeon Joke Book^[1] Bert reads from his pigeon joke book	The same pigeon joke book appears in the sketch where Ernie brings a puppy home. One of the punchlines is, "To get to the other side."
	Pigeon Jones Diary Sesamestreet.org Read a Story Day	Bert tells us he is reading a great book called "Pigeon Jones Diary." Then he tells us that it is Read a Story Day and that there is a playlist filled with stories, videos, and games. While we look at the playlist, he is going to read his book.
	Pigeons in Space Ernie Goes Pretend Swimming	"It's about this pigeon mission and it's about to land on Mars..."
	Pigeons of the World^[1] Elmo's World: Eyes	"The pigeons of Pisa eat Italian breadcrumbs." ("I guess that makes sense.")
	The Pigeon Whisperer^[1] Dancing Monsters	"And the mystical Pigeon Whisperer whispered mystically to the pigeon... 'Coo... coo...'"
	The Secret Life of Pigeons Ernie Walks Forwards and Backwards	"And the pigeon stood, and looked into the sky, and said, 'I'll think about it tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day.'"
	Socks^[1] Play with Me Sesame	Mr. Sock pulls Bert away from his book to play Perfect Pair.
	A Tale of Two Breakfasts Bert Copies the Drums	"It was the best of oatmeals, it was the worst of oatmeals..."
	A Tale of Two Breakfasts^[1] Best Friends	The title is not used, but the phrase is nearly identical to its previous use, "It was the best of oatmeal, it was the worst of oatmeal..."
	A Tale of Two Pigeons^[1] "Adding, Adding, Adding"	"They were the best of pigeons, they were the worst of pigeons..."
	A Tale of Two Pigeons Together and Rubber Duckie Has the Hiccups	"It was the best of times for pigeons, it was the worst of times for pigeons..."
	The Wonderful World of Paper Clips Scared Bert	"The largest paperclip collection in the Western hemisphere is in Muskegon, Michigan. Paperclips come in various sizes...see exotic paperclips from foreign lands in volume four..."
	untitled Alphabet Test	Bert stands alone in the room, reading what appears to be a personal address book.
	untitled Bert Is It	Ernie plays a game of tag with Bert, who is reading his book.
	untitled Ernie Prepares for a Flood at the Library	Bert doesn't mention what his book is about, but becomes perturbed when Ernie leaves an umbrella handle right in the middle of a sentence.
	untitled Ernie's Book	After Ernie keeps Bert up reading his book, Bert can't help but to start reading it himself.
	untitled "I Love My Room"	Bert attempts to read in his and Ernie's bedroom while Ernie performs the song.
	untitled Guess That Animal Sound	Although no text is recited, the book is interesting enough that a lion breaks into Ernie and Bert's apartment to borrow it.
	untitled "In My Book"	The story involves a lion, a tiger, an alligator, a pirate, and a sorcerer.
	untitled Elmo's World: Skin	Ernie is wearing a blindfold and feels things with his hands, then guesses what they are.
	untitled Reading vs Exercise	Bert reads a very humorous book while Ernie tries to get him to exercise with him.
	untitled Looking for Five	"...and then the goose said, 'Take a gander at this!'"
	untitled Play with Me Sesame	Bert's book features steaming oatmeal on the cover; Ernie borrows it to show how to play with a book.
	untitled Episode 4930	"[sigh] Nothing like reading on a quiet afternoon with a good..." (Bert gets distracted by Ernie tapping his notepad with a pencil.) The cover features three pigeons, while the back cover has outlines on the same three pigeons.

International Sesame Street[]

Picture	Title / Sketch	Quote/Notes
	Tauben im Weltall ("Pigeons in Space") Sesamstrasse Folge 2824	Bert's book is an unmistakable reference to the recurring Muppet Show sketch Pigs in Space.

Illustrated[]

Footnotes[]

↑ ^1.00 ^1.01 ^1.02 ^1.03 ^1.04 ^1.05 ^1.06 ^1.07 ^1.08 ^1.09 ^1.10 The title of the book is implied, but not stated.

[implied-1] 1.00 ^1.01 ^1.02 ^1.03 ^1.04 ^1.05 ^1.06 ^1.07 ^1.08 ^1.09 ^1.10 The title of the book is implied, but not stated.

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