Episode 101: Michelle Pfeiffer

Muppets Tonight
Air Date	March 8, 1996
Written by	Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Darin Henry, Jim Lewis, Kirk Thatcher, and Patric Verrone
Director	Gary Halvorson
Prod. no.	101
(TRANSCRIPT)

Kermit the Frog holds a meeting with the Muppets to discuss their new television studio, KMUP-TV, and realizes they're not currently broadcasting any shows. He decides to create one, but everyone flees when he asks for volunteers to host, leaving Clifford, who is on his cellphone, to take the role.

The new show, Muppets Tonight, begins with no planned acts until Gonzo presents an opening act, François Fromage and his Dancing Cheeses, who melt under the lights. Backstage, Clifford and Rizzo discuss the show, and decide that what the show needs is a celebrity guest star. Miss Piggy then shows up and offers to be the guest star if her dim-witted nephews, Andy and Randy, get jobs, which Clifford reluctantly agrees to. Kermit later informs Clifford that Michelle Pfeiffer has also agreed to be a guest, leading to chaos as Clifford and Rizzo try to keep the two stars separated and as both women compete for the spotlight in a Sound of Music closing number. After a tumultuous performance, the two reconcile, blaming Clifford for the mix-up.

Skit Highlights

• François Fromage and his Dancing Cheeses
• Bay of Pigswatch
• At the Bar (UK Spot)
• Muppet Match-up
• Great Moments in Elvis History: The Declaration of Independence
• Swift Wits (UK Spot)
• "Do-Re-Mi" sung by Michelle and Miss Piggy

Episode

Picture	Description
	In the cold open of the series, Kermit gathers the Muppets to discuss their new TV studio. Gonzo announces upcoming shows but reveals they have no program for that evening. Kermit panics and rallies the Muppets to pull together a show. When he asks for a volunteer to host, everyone flees except Clifford, who is on the phone. Kermit assigns Clifford as the host, who is shocked to learn the show starts in 30 seconds.
	"Muppets Tonight Theme"
	Clifford enthusiastically addresses the staff, feeling confident about their new show. Nigel announces they are about to go live in seconds, and Clifford encourages everyone to have fun. As the show starts, chaos erupts, and a nervous Clifford mistakenly walks into a supply cabinet. Kermit gently points it out, and Clifford, still flustered, asks to cue the announcer as Nigel frantically urges the crew to go.
	Rizzo and stagehands wheel Clifford in the supply closet onto the stage. Clifford emerges but quickly learns from Rizzo that they don't have any acts lined up. Gonzo steps in, promising an impressive performance and introduces "François Fromage and his Dancing Cheeses." A group of dancing cheeses takes the stage, performing a musical number with comedic choreography. Clifford makes a pun about the act being "gouda," which gets blank stares from Gonzo and Rizzo, before they leave the stage while the cheeses continue their tap routine.
	Clifford and Rizzo need a celebrity guest star to save their show after the dancing cheeses start melting. Miss Piggy enters, claiming she'll help but first wants her nephews, Andy and Randy, to get jobs. After a disastrous infomercial clip reveals her recent work, Piggy insists, leaving the two dim-witted pigs with Clifford who grows concerned about his choice.
	Miss Piggy stars in "Bay of Pigswatch." She panics at the sight of a shark, who in turn is scared of her and swims off in the opposite direction. The incompetent lifeguard Champ Schwimmer does not come to Piggy's rescue, because he is preoccupied by his glamorous new assistant lifeguard, Spamela Hamderson. He collapses at the sight of her, and insists that he needs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Piggy arrives and, when Champ admits he would rather make out with Spamela than save her from a shark, she karate chops him across the beach.
	Statler and Waldorf comment on the show from their nursing home.
	Clifford and Rizzo discuss Miss Piggy's presence on the show when Kermit introduces them to Michelle Pfeiffer, who will be the guest star. Clifford compliments her beauty, while a stagehand faints in awe. Rizzo tries to remind Clifford that they also invited Miss Piggy to be a guest star, leading to panic. Kermit realizes they’ve double-booked the show, and the three hurriedly rush away, concerned about the mix-up.
	UK spot — In an "At the Bar" sketch, Clueless Morgan says his sister-in-law is eating him and his wife out of house and home... literally. However, he can't kick her out because she watches the kids; she's a "nanny goat." Clueless and Polly launch into "Camptown Races," but Mr. Callahan pelts them with fruits and vegetables.
	Clifford welcomes Michelle Pfeiffer to the stage, and they reminisce about her previous appearance with the Muppets in a clip from the 1975 game show "Muppet Match-Up," where she participated in a dating game with Kermit and three bachelors: Bunsen, Beaker, and Animal.
	Clifford and Rizzo check on Miss Piggy and Michelle Pfeiffer's locations, noting that Miss Piggy is in make-up and Michelle is in wardrobe. They plan to keep the two apart. Both Rizzo and Clifford want to watch Michelle, so Clifford flips Rizzo to decide and Rizzo ends up losing.
	"Great Moments in Elvis History," starring George Washington, John Hancock, and Thomas Jefferson — all portrayed by Muppet Elvises — are present as the Declaration of Independence is ready for signing. However, when a founding father says it will break all ties with the king, the three argue about who is the King. At the end of the sketch, Benjamin Franklin walks in and announces that he has discovered electricity. The three Elvises are delighted, as they can now play electric guitars — they close the episode with a parody of "Blue Suede Shoes."
	Snookie Blyer hosts "Swift Wits" (another UK spot). He introduces contestant Philo Zilfinger, who plays for a poodle named Sterling. If Philo answers correctly, the poodle wins dog shampoo; if not, Carl the Big Mean Bunny will eat it. Philo fails to answer the question, resulting in Carl devouring the poodle.
	Miss Piggy runs into Michelle Pfeiffer, who reveals she's the guest star playing Maria von Trapp from The Sound of Music, leading to an argument over who is playing the role. After Piggy showcases her costume, Clifford tries to mediate but gets karate-chopped by Piggy, sending him flying, and a dazed Clifford introduces the musical number.
	On stage Michelle Pfeiffer and Miss Piggy vie for the starring role in the "Do-Re-Mi" musical number, offering treats to their co-stars, sending people to attack each other (Piggy sends Foo-Foo to attack Michelle, and Michelle sends Animal to attack Foo-Foo), and they shoot cannons at each other. Andy and Randy Pig and Lew Zealand are amongst the von Trapp children in this sketch.
	Clifford wraps up the show by thanking guests Michelle Pfeiffer and Miss Piggy, who reveal they've made up and agree that the chaos was actually Clifford's fault. Kermit reassures Clifford that next week will go smoother, and the Muppets gather to wave goodbye to the audience.
	Backstage, Clifford asks Rizzo where the dancing cheeses are so he can thank them, but Rizzo admits to eating them, explaining, "I'm a rat, they're cheese. It's the circle of life."

Notes

The KMUP line-up.

• A different celebrity guest star was originally booked instead of Pfeiffer, but just a few days before shooting, they backed out. Henry Kissinger had also agreed to make an appearance alongside the guest star, but backed out as well.

• Some elements present in an early script draft for the episode include:

• Speaking lines for Bunsen, Beaker, the Swedish Chef, and Animal in the cold open.

• Following the opening theme, a short scene of Kermit and Clifford walking to the control room, where Kermit tries to impart some of his hosting experience to him.

• The opening act is instead "The Coffee Song," which would serve as the opening number to episode 203.

• A. Ligator mispronounces the title of the show (originally called "Muppets Live"). He complains about the "chicken scratch" of the script he's been given, and the writer is shown to be a chicken.

• Bobo the Bear is introduced snacking at the craft services table and inadvertently becomes a part of the search for a guest star. He is later shown standing out on the street calling out to celebrities, when he's approached by Jack Nicholson. He offers to help, so Bobo assigns him to keep a lookout on the other side of the street. These elements would later be used in episode 208.

• Pigs in Space: Deep Dish Nine is used instead of "Bay of Pigswatch." The particular sketch would instead be used in episode 206.

• An act by a cow mime.

• Thor Gets a Library Card is used instead of "Great Moments in Elvis History."

• Gonzo appears as one of the Von Trapp children.

• As Piggy and Michelle debate over who is Maria von Trapp, Mr. Poodlepants appears in Roman attire and declares, "I am Spartacus," then dashes off when he realizes he's in the wrong sketch.

• The KMUP station line-up chart spoofs an assortment of real-world TV show titles.

• In the original airing of the episode, Waldorf is performed by Kevin Clash instead of Dave Goelz. International airings have Goelz's voice dubbed over.

• Bill Barretta performs Bunsen (undubbed) in the 'Muppet Match-Up' scene.

• Muppets who appear in the board room at the beginning of this episode include Kermit the Frog, The Great Gonzo, Clifford, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Beaker, Animal, Floyd Pepper, Janice, Zoot, Crazy Harry, The Swedish Chef, Bean Bunny, Bobo the Bear, a banana, and Lew Zealand.

• This is the only episode where the opening begins with a wide shot of the station before Kermit announces the guest star.

• When Piggy enters the station, a picture of Scooter appears on the wall, the first on-screen glimpse of him since the death of Richard Hunt.

Performers

Bill Barretta as David Hogsellhoff, one of the Elvis', Dr. Bunsen Honeydew (for Muppet Match Up), Clueless Morgan, Big Mean Carl, Snookie Blyer

Kevin Clash as Clifford, Waldorf, Shark, J.P. Grosse, Philo Zilfinger, Polly Lobster

Dave Goelz as The Great Gonzo, Randy Pig, Extreme, Miss Piggy's assistant

Brian Henson as Nigel the Director, one of the Elvis'

Jerry Nelson as Statler, A. Ligator, one of the Elvis', Lew Zealand

Steve Whitmire as Kermit the Frog, Andy Pig, Rizzo the Rat, Beaker, Foo Foo, George the Janitor

Frank Oz as Miss Piggy, Animal, Stagehand

Leslie Carrara as Spamela Hamderson

Greg Ballora

Phil Baron

Pat Brymer

Thomas Fountain

John Kennedy

Bruce Lanoil as François Fromage

Len Levitt

Drew Massey

Joe Selph

Allan Trautman

Cast

Muppets:

Clifford, Miss Piggy, Kermit the Frog, Rizzo the Rat, Gonzo, Andy and Randy Pig, Nigel, Statler and Waldorf, Spamela Hamderson, David Hoggselhoff, A. Ligator, The Elvises, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Beaker, Animal, Foo-Foo, J.P. Grosse, George the Janitor, The Extremes, Sharks, Snookie Blyer, Philo Zilfinger, Big Mean Carl, Polly Lobster, Clueless Morgan, François Fromage and his Dancing Cheeses, Stagehand

Background Muppets:

Lew Zealand, Droop, Crazy Harry, Bean Bunny, Floyd Pepper, Janice, Zoot, The Swedish Chef, Pops, Louis Kazagger, Baskerville the Hound, Inkspot, a Fazoob, Quongo, Mr. Poodlepants, Bananas, The Barbershop Cactus Quartet, Bobo the Bear, Cows, Horses

Gallery

Sources

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