Episode 103: Billy Crystal

Muppets Tonight
Air Date	March 22, 1996
Written by	Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Darin Henry, Jim Lewis, Kirk Thatcher and Patric Verrone
Director	Gary Halvorson
Prod. no.	104
(TRANSCRIPT)

File:Muppets Tonight Episode 103 - Billy Crystal

Bobo the Bear takes the position of the studio's new doorman/security guard. However, all incoming guests have trouble getting past him. Billy Crystal and Larry King appear.

Skit Highlights

• Miss Piggy's When Harry Met Sally screen test
• "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
• The Eagle's Nest - Taxes
• City Schtickers
• The Tubmans of Porksmith
• "Now You Has Jazz"

Notes

• Larry King said that his show was on in 220 countries, but Bobo countered that there were only 191 countries. Bobo was, in fact, correct; at the time the episode aired, there were only 191 countries in the world.

• Larry King refers to the show as "The Muppet Show".

• This is the first episode of Muppets Tonight that Fozzie Bear and Sam the Eagle appeared in. It also features the first appearances of Johnny Fiama, and Sal Minella. Bobo the Bear, though seen earlier, is properly introduced in this episode.

• When Bobo tosses Sal out of the building, Johnny comments, "That is one nutty way to stop a cab." It must be: Gonzo did the same thing in The Great Muppet Caper.

• Actor Johnny Depp was mentioned as being on Bobo's list.

• Sal makes references to Yogi Bear and Smokey.

• At one point, when the lion starts chasing the singing animals off the stage at the end of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight", he can be heard shouting "Stop singing, Ernie! Stop it" at one point.

Episode

Picture	Description
	Clifford explains to the new doorman, Bobo the Bear, the studio's policy: only let people in if they're on the list. When Clifford tries to enter, Bobo stops him, claiming he's not on the list. Clifford reminds him of his high status in the studio and is let in.
	Clifford introduces Billy Crystal, who hasn't let stardom go to his head. Billy then enters being carried by some pigs while dressed in a body-builder's outfit and thinks he's on American Gladiators, but reveals he's kidding. He then presents a secret screen test from When Harry Met Sally with a familiar co-star.
	In a re-enactment of the infamous deli scene from When Harry Met Sally, Billy tells Miss Piggy about how his date canceled because of a cold, claiming she even sneezed over the phone. Miss Piggy demonstrates how women do a fake sneeze with an over-blown performance.
	Nigel shows Andy and Randy how to operate the house lights with the push of a button, but instead they press a different one that blows part of the control panel off and whacking Nigel in the face. The rest of the Muppets beg Billy to do some impressions for them, including Muhammad Ali and Sammy Davis Jr. Clifford suggests that be part of the closing number, but Billy would rather do a jazz number and even has a band on the way. Dr. Phil Van Neuter then arrives and finds a damaged Nigel and finds him perfect for some reconstructive surgery.
	Jungle animals sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" while a lion tries to get some rest. He can't take any more of the song and chases the singers offstage.
	The animals run over Clifford on their way out of the lion's clutch. Sam the Eagle then approaches Clifford with a problem: his editorial show is almost on and his two correspondents (Larry King and Mr. Poodlepants) have yet to arrive. Clifford sets him up with two other guests instead.
	Meanwhile, at the studio entrance, Larry King arrives, but Bobo can't find his name on the list. Larry tries explain his stardom, claiming to be on in 220 countries. Bobo knows better, knowing there are only 191 countries and takes out a globe to show him.
	Sam hosts "The Eagle's Nest", where he, Andy and Randy will be discussing "taxes". But, Andy and Randy have a misunderstanding about bills, thinking he's calling them Bill. Mr. Poodlepants then arrives, thinking they're talking about Texas ("The Longhorn State!") He pulls out an Alpine horn that summons an avalanche onto Sam.
	Back downstairs, Bobo continues counting countries, but a small debate with Larry over one makes him lose his place.
	Kermit, Fozzie and Billy appear in "City Schtickers" as three comedians in the old west. They exchange some puns and sing "Ragtime Cowboy Joe". The cows can't take much more and start a stampede.
	In their nursing home, Statler calls the sketch "breathless" and calls his nurse for his nitroglycerine. The nurse blows him up.
	UK Spot: The Tubmans of Porksmith Howard receives a telegram that his aunt has passed away and he will inherit her fortune if he looses weight soon. Howard his the treadmill, but finds he's making no progress. Carter receives another message that his aunt pulled through anyway.
	Sal and Johnny arrive and Sal acts disrespectfully toward Bobo to let Johnny in, insulting him enough times to earn himself a beating. Johnny finds he's not even on the show tonight and Sal is thrown into the street.
	Clifford and Rizzo break the bad news to Billy: his band hasn't arrived yet. Billy isn't beat, and shows them how they can make their own jazz tune, leading into an onstage performance of "Now You Has Jazz."
	Billy and the group gather around to say goodnight and wonder what happened to his band.
	We see Billy's band (consisting of celebrity look-alikes of Bill Clinton, Queen Elizabeth II, Boris Yeltsin, Clint Eastwood, and Ronald Reagan) are held up by Bobo, not finding them on the list.

Performers

Dave Goelz as Randy Pig, Waldorf

Brian Henson as Sal Minella, Nigel, Dr. Phil van Neuter, Seymour

Jerry Nelson as Old Skyball Paint, Statler, Rob Reiner Muppet, Gemsbok

Steve Whitmire as Kermit the Frog, Rizzo the Rat, Andy Pig, Mr. Poodlepants, Baboon

Bill Barretta as Bobo the Bear, Johnny Fiama, Howard Tubman, Zebra

Kevin Clash as Clifford, Carter, Paul Revere, Lizard

Frank Oz as Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Animal, Sam the Eagle, Lion, grey Whatnot

Leslie Carrara as "I'll Have What She's Having" Woman

Phil Baron

Tim Blaney

Kevin Carlson

Bruce Lanoil

Len Levitt

Drew Massey

Joe Selph

Allan Trautman

Cast

Muppets:

Clifford, Bobo the Bear, Rizzo the Rat, Andy and Randy Pig, Johnny Fiama, Sal Minella, Miss Piggy, Sam the Eagle, Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, Animal, Nigel the Director, Chuck the Lion, Mr. Poodlepants, Dr. Phil van Neuter, Seymour, Howard Tubman, Carter, Paul Revere, Old Skyball Paint, Whatnots

Background Muppets:

Randall the Zebra, Zoot, Link Hogthrob, David Hoggselhoff, D'kembe the Gemsbok, Phoenicia the Hippopotamus, Bernice the Warthog, Billy Bob the Lemur, Bosko the Baboon, Lizard, Parrot, Snake, Trudy the Chimpanzee, Alfonso D'Bruzzo, Clyde, Horses, Cows, Colfax Bergman, Agnes Stonewick, Mildred Huxtetter

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