Theme
Kermit appears in the show's O. | |
Kermit | It's The Muppet Show, with tonight's guest star Mr. Joel Grey! |
The banner rises, and the theme begins. | |
Chorus girls |
It's time to play the music |
Male chorus |
It's time to put on makeup |
The curtain opens on Fozzie. | |
Fozzie | In our house we use paper plates, and every night after dinner, my wife erases the dishes! |
He wiggles his ears. The curtain closes. | |
Kermit |
To introduce our guest star, |
Clips from "Razzle Dazzle" and "Wilkommen" are shown. | |
Kermit |
Our show tonight will feature |
A clip from "Comedy Tonight" is shown. | |
Kermit | But now let's get things started |
Kermit & gang |
On the most sensational, inspirational |
Gonzo swings and misses the O, toppling over out of frame. |
Opening number
Main stage. Kermit enters. | |
Kermit | Welcome! And what a show we have for you tonight. How would you like to see 4,000 woodpeckers performing an aerial ballet while 87 gorillas and two dozen elephants do the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy? Well, forget it, because instead we've got Joel Grey as a guest star, which, in a way, is like having all the excitement of everything I mentioned without having to clean up afterwards. But right now, let's get things rolling on The Muppet Show, where we have "Comedy Tonight." |
The curtain opens, and an ensemble of Muppets perform a rather violent version of "Comedy Tonight." Frackles and Whatnots run around threatening each other and capturing Mary Louise (and a clown), and Crazy Harry blows things up. | |
Waldorf | Well, the show is speeding along very quickly this evening. |
Statler | Oh, yes. Someone must have told 'em it's harder to hit a moving target. Heh heh. |
Backstage
At the Dance
Muppet Newsflash
File:Newsman Season 1.JPG | |
Newsman | Here's a Muppet Newsflash. (runs to the desk) Dateline New York City: A former circus daredevil, who billed himself as Boffo the Human Cannonball, fired himself out of a cannon yesterday into a crowd of holiday shoppers. Fortunately, there were no injuries to the passers-by. Boffo was not so lucky. Said his wife, the former Mrs. Boffo, "I guess I'll just have to pick up the pieces and live my life." |
"Willkommen"
Main stage. Kermit enters in a tuxedo. | |
Kermit | Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pride and pleasure that yours truly, Kermit the Frog, introduces the international star of stage and screen, Mr. Joel Grey. |
The curtain opens on a nightclub with Muppets at tables. | |
Joel | Thank you, Kermit. I can't tell you what a pleasure it is for me to be here appearing in the Muppet cabaret. Never have I entertained in such a place before. So unusual. So bizarre. The most incredible nightclub by far. |
He sings his signature song, "Willkommen", joined by the other Muppets. | |
Waldorf | Ehh, another star in the tradition of the late, great Boris Klinger. |
Statler | Boris Klinger?! (Waldorf nods) Why, you old fool, Boris Klinger was the worst music-hall act to ever step onto the stage! |
Waldorf | In your opinion, maybe, but more than 2,000 people attended his final performance. |
Statler | Yes, yes. Half of them brought the tar and the rest brought the feathers. Heh! |
Backstage
Talk Spot
"Pachalafaka"
"Stormy Weather"
Backstage
Blackout
Fozzie's comedy act
UK Spot
Muppet Newsflash
File:103-15.jpg | |
Newsman | Here's a Muppet Newsflash. (runs to the desk) Dateline Brooklyn, New York: A Harry Oblong, a retired New York City bus driver, said that he is holding that state as a hostage and will not release it until he is paid fifty million dollars in cash. Mr. Oblong, whom state officials say is not playing with a full deck, says that he will not disclose the whereabouts of the state of New York, but does say it has enough food and water to last for ten more days. |
He tosses his papers and walks away. |
"Razzle Dazzle"