The Muppet Show transcript for Episode 105: Rita Moreno.
Theme
Kermit appears in the show's O. | |
Kermit | It's The Muppet Show, with our special guest star, Miss Rita Moreno! |
The banner rises, and the theme begins. | |
Chorus girls |
It's time to play the music |
Male chorus |
It's time to put on makeup |
The curtain opens on Fozzie. | |
Fozzie | My cousin's so dumb, he spent two weeks in London trying to find the European Common Market. |
He takes off his hat and wiggles his ears. The audience laughs. The curtain closes. | |
Kermit |
To introduce our guest star, |
The curtain opens on Rita. Animal sneaks up behind her and bites her. | |
Kermit | But now let's get things started |
Kermit & gang |
On the most sensational, inspirational |
When Gonzo strikes the O, the effect reverberates through him. |
Opening number
Main stage. Kermit enters to applause. | |
Kermit | Thank you, thank you, thank you. And welcome to The Muppet Show. And what a show we got. We have music, comedy, 225 dancing elephants — who, unfortunately, left their costumes at home because they forgot to pack their trunks. |
Kermit looks confused. Enter Fozzie. | |
Fozzie | I gave him that joke! |
Kermit | I wish I gave it right back. But right now, let's get things moving with our special guest star, the beautiful, lovely, terrific and talented - lovely Miss Rita Moreno! |
For the opening number, Rita dances (and fights) in a saloon with a humanoid Muppet to the music of "I Get Ideas." The number is an apache dance, popularized in the early 1900s and usually with a Parisian flavor, in which a man and woman in "tough" attire and poses engage in physical conflict. The saloon has mostly pigs; Miss Piggy briefly plays the third side of a love triangle. |