The Muppet Show transcript for Episode 107: Florence Henderson.
Theme[]
Kermit appears in the show's O. | |
Kermit | It's The Muppet Show, with our special guest star, Miss Florence Henderson! |
The banner rises, and the theme begins. | |
Chorus girls |
It's time to play the music |
Male chorus |
It's time to put on makeup |
The curtain opens on Fozzie, who takes off his hat. | |
Fozzie | Prices are so high, yesterday I bought a pound of hamburger and had to have a cosigner. |
The audience laughs. The curtain closes. | |
Kermit |
To introduce our guest star, |
Florence shares a laugh with the monsters from an upcoming number. | |
Kermit | But now let's get things started |
Kermit & gang |
On the most sensational, inspirational |
Gonzo successfully strikes the O as the sign rises into the rafters. |
Opening act[]
Backstage[]
Talking Houses[]
Zoom in on the two left houses. | |
House 2 | My brother has ghosts in his attic. |
House 1 | Sounds scary. |
House 2 | Yeah. He's on the Ten Most Haunted list. |
Zoom out. Musical button. |
"Elusive Butterfly"[]
Backstage[]
At the Dance[]
Talk Spot[]
UK Spot[]
Panel Discussion[]
Backstage[]
Fozzie's comedy act[]
Main stage. Kermit enters. | |
Kermit | Okay, here he comes again now, folks, so stand by, sit tight, hold on and fasten your seatbelts. The Muppet Show 's own furry funnyman, here he is, Mr. Fozzie Bear! |
Fozzie comes onstage as his fanfare plays. | |
Fozzie | Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, gang. Grab your shoes and grab your socks. Here come the jokes, here come the yucks. Now, tonight I'm gonna try and put something new in my act. |
Statler | Ehh. Like comedy, maybe. (laughs with Waldorf) |
Fozzie | Hey, look, guys, I paid a lot of money for this new act and I want to see if it's good, okay? |
Statler | Could it possibly be good? |
Waldorf | Could it possibly be worse? (laughs with Statler) |
Fozzie | Aahh. Okay, now, tonight I will do impressions of great movie actors from great movies. |
Waldorf | Great! Wonderful! |
Statler | Love 'em! |
Fozzie | Okay, okay, okay, okay. First, ahem, Humphrey Bogart from Casablanca. Ahem. |
He takes a few seconds to prepare. | |
Fozzie | (normal voice) Play it again, Sam. (no laughs) Okay, okay, okay, okay. Now, next is Jimmy Cagney from Mister Roberts. |
He takes a few seconds to prepare. | |
Fozzie | (normal voice) Who took my palm tree? (no laughs) Okay, next, Cary Grant from all his movies. |
He takes a few seconds to prepare. | |
Fozzie | (normal voice) Judy, Judy, Judy. |
Waldorf | Hey, listen, all your impressions sound the same. |
Statler | Yeah. |
Fozzie | I can't help that. They were all written by the same writer. |
Waldorf | He's got a point there. |
Statler | Yeah, on his head. (laughs with Statler) |
Fozzie | Okay, any other impressions? Impressions, huh? |
Statler | Yeah. We'd like to see an impression of a bear leaving a stage. |
Fozzie | Gotcha. Gotcha. Presenting a bare stage. (ducks down) Ha! Bare. Get it? I'm a bear. No one on the stage. Oh, I'm terrific! I love me! I'm too good for this show! Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! |
His fanfare plays as he leaves. | |
Waldorf | You know, he's getting better. |
Statler | Yeah, or we're getting worse. |