The Muppet Show transcript for Episode 116: Avery Schreiber.
Theme
Kermit appears in the show's O. | |
Kermit | It's The Muppet Show, with our special guest star, Mr. Avery Schreiber! |
The banner rises, and the theme begins. | |
Chorus girls |
It's time to play the music |
Male chorus |
It's time to put on makeup |
The curtain opens on Fozzie. | |
Fozzie | Hey, did you know that George the Janitor is so cheap that his wallet has an unlisted pocket? Am I too hip for the room? Hey... |
The audience laughs. The curtain closes. | |
Kermit |
To introduce our guest star, |
The curtain opens on Avery, surrounded by Muppets from a forthcoming number. | |
Kermit | But now let's get things started |
Kermit & gang |
On the most sensational, inspirational |
![]() | |
Gonzo hits Beautiful Day Monster instead of the "O." |
Opening number
Main stage. Kermit enters to applause. | |
Kermit | Okay! Welcome, welcome, dear friends. And we have another goodie for you. Our guest is a young man and an old friend, who's been making television and nightclub audiences laugh for many years as part of the comedy team of Burns and Schreiber. And right now, he's launching a new career as a movie performer and a television star in his own right, Mr. Avery Schreiber! So we should have another biggie, but right now, let's get things underway with our own Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem! |
Floyd plays a bass riff as Dr. Teeth speaks. | |
Dr. Teeth | Now, ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to do for you an old favorite. We like to think of our group as being able to play more than hard rock. So here's an old favorite for some of you moms and pops. It's called, and we'll play, "Tenderly." |
![]() | |
They perform "Tenderly," but adapted to the band's loud, energetic sensibilities. | |
Dr. Teeth | Aw, that's tender, man. |
Applause. | |
Statler | I was just thinking, apropos of nothing, but is it pronounced "tomayto" or "tomahto"? |
Waldorf | Is what pronounced tomayto or tomahto? |
Backstage
Gladiator match
Muppet Labs
Backstage
Museum
![]() | |
Avery plays a security guard at a museum. He decides to have a bite to eat next to a "painting" of Fozzie. Whenever Avery turns away, Fozzie reaches through the frame and tries to steal his food! Finally, Avery climbs into the painting to fight Fozzie for his food. However, opportunity presents itself where they can both eat, stealing Rowlf's food. |
At the Dance
UK spot
![]() | |
Baskerville, Muppy, and Catgut serenade a photograph of Lassie with "May You Always." |
Talk spot
Wayne and Wanda
Veterinarian's Hospital
Backstage
Fozzie's comedy act
Muppet newsflash
![]() | |
Newsman | Here's a Muppet newsflash. (runs to the desk) There is no news tonight. (runs off) |
"Make a Song"
![]() | |
Avery plays "Make a Song" with some Koozebanians, two Fazoobs, an eel, Shakey Sanchez and Mel. | |
Avery | Can you do that? … Everybody now. |
Goodnights
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.