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Muppets Tonight
Air Date October 12, 1997
Written by Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Darin Henry, Jim Lewis, Dan McGrath, Kirk Thatcher and Patric Verrone
Director Gary Halvorson
Prod. no. 113

(TRANSCRIPT)

Pierce Brosnan is depressed over the fact that he isn't as debonair as his James Bond character, but he finally gets a chance to prove himself when the Crustacean Liberation Army attempts to take the Muppet Studios hostage and only he can save them.

Skit Highlights[]


Episode[]

Picture Description
In the cold open, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker present a series of gadgets to Pierce Brosnan, mistaking him for his iconic character, James Bond. Despite Pierce repeatedly clarifying that he is not actually Bond, Bunsen insists on calling him "007" and demonstrates several devices, including a microphone that makes Beaker's pants explode and an alarm clock launched by a slingshot. Pierce grows uncomfortable as Bunsen shows off more dangerous inventions, including a "high-power laser-death cotton-swab," which inadvertently blasts a hole through the wall, startling Bobo who is bathing in a nearby room.
"Muppets Tonight Theme"

Clifford opens the show with a joke about Istanbul and Constantinople, prompting rats to sing a passage from the song "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)." He introduces Pierce Brosnan, but Pierce gets lost backstage, repeatedly entering the wrong doors, including interrupting Bobo (now in a towel). Meanwhile, Clifford scrambles to fill the time, rejecting a German opera act from Seymour and Pepe in favor of the dancing grandmas.
"The Spy in the Casino Sketch" features Pierce playing a clumsy gambler in a James Bond parody -- he injures the dealer, spills champagne, and disrupts a game of blackjack. Miss Piggy, appearing as "Porky Galore," sings "Whatever Lola Wants" and flirts with him, but Pierce accidentally causes Blowfish's pants to explode and rips Piggy’s dress, prompting her to flee.
In a "Bay of Pigswatch" sketch, Julius Strangepork makes an appearance as the commissioner of beach safety. He explains that Champ Schwimmer's lifeguard license needs to be renewed- but the license is missing. Dr. Strangepork decides to make Spamela the new lifeguard, but rather surprisingly, Champ's bumbling assistants, Donnie and Art, find his license inside a fish, which is really a shark. Champ gets his job back and they all dance the Hokey Pokey.
In a UK spot of "Swift Wits," game show contestant Arthur Modell is tasked with answering a question to save Rufus from being eaten by Carl the Big Mean Bunny. Arthur answers "The Battle of Hastings" correctly, much to Snookie Blyer's surprise—it's the first correct answer in the show's history. Despite Arthur's victory, Carl still devours both Rufus and Arthur.
Bobo is talking on the phone while a gang of lobsters, led by one with a secret plan, huddles nearby. The lead lobster explains their plan to perform a musical number and then take over the studio. Bobo overhears only part of the conversation and is fooled when the lobsters divert his attention and board the elevator.
In another UK spot, "At the Bar," Clueless is going to knight school to learn jousting. Polly threatens to hit Clueless over the head with a frying pan if he doesn't sing. Clueless begins a heartfelt rendition of "Beautiful Dreamer", but Polly has lied, and hits him anyway. Mr. Callahan then hits Polly with another frying pan to punish him for lying.
Clifford and Rizzo cheer on the dancing grandmas performing to "Le Freak." A timid man proudly announces he's overcome his fear of holding too many pies by a door, only to be knocked over by Fozzie Bear, who bursts in with exciting news. Fozzie reveals Pierce wants to do a juggling act with Andy and Randy Pig. The pigs come out in leotards, unsure what to do. Pierce joins them, throwing juggling pins at the pigs, who get hit repeatedly. Meanwhile, Statler and Waldorf watch from the nursing home, joking that they're still waiting for something good to happen.

Clifford introduces the musical stylings of the Rock Lobsters, who perform "Rock Lobster." As he and Rizzo watch backstage, they quickly realize the lobsters have taken over the studio, threatening a cameraman. The head lobster announces their demands for world domination, including no more calling people "crab" or "shrimp," and no more movies based on old TV shows. Backstage, Pierce offers to help with the lobsters, prompting Bunsen to gather gadgets while he slips into a disguise.

The cameraman is gagged as the head lobster brings out hostages Seymour and Pepe. The lobster demands they sing, prompting a nervous duet. Suddenly, Pierce enters dressed as a lobster, introducing himself as "Prawn. James Prawn." He uses the Deadly Alarm Clock slingshot to fend them off.

Backstage, Clifford and Rizzo watch, wishing for music. Johnny Fiama and Sal enter, with Sal on trumpet as Johnny sings a James Bond-themed song about Pierce.

Pierce defeats the lobsters and nearly collapses as the audience applauds.

Clifford celebrates a successful show with Pierce Brosnan, along with Seymour, Pepe, Rizzo, and Gonzo. Clifford praises Pierce, leading Gonzo to challenge him to try fire-eating. In a surprising display, Pierce breathes fire from a baton. The group then dances to "Hot, Hot, Hot" while Pierce thanks the Muppets for the experience.

The episode concludes with credits rolling over a selection of outtakes.

Notes[]

  • When Brosnan performed the fire-eating trick at the end of the episode, he ended-up burning his mouth.[1]

The former James Bond studied the circus art at theater school in his youth just because he thought the class would help him meet attractive women and he was thrilled when TV bosses suggested he show off his party trick during one of the Muppets' final TV variety shows.

He says, "I did The Muppets... after I did the first James Bond movie, and they said, 'We'd like you to be on the show. Do you sing or dance?' and I said, 'No, but I used to do a fire eating act...' and so we incorporated this into the show... I blew fire."

The rehearsal went well but then a prop master suggested he try the scene again with a different fuel, and Brosnan was left with a scorched mouth.

The actor recalls, "I did the take but it was like rocket fuel and it came right back into my mouth... It's on YouTube I think, and you see this blue flame and it just goes right back into my mouth."

  • This episode was shot as part of the first season (production number 113), and was broadcast as such in the UK on BBC Television. In the US, it was not aired until the second.

Performers[]

Bill Barretta - Pepe, Johnny Fiama, Bobo, Clueless Morgan, David Hoggselhoff, Ernst Stavros Grouper (Blowfish), Snookie Blyer, Big Mean Carl, Zippity Zap
Kevin Clash - Clifford, Arthur Modell, Polly Lobster, Narwhal
Dave Goelz - Gonzo, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Randy Pig, Waldorf, Lobster
Brian Henson - Seymour, Sal Manilla, Nigel, KMUP camera man
Jerry Nelson - Statler, Dr. Strangepork, Rock Lobster, Penguin
Frank Oz - Miss Piggy and Fozzie Bear
Steve Whitmire - Kermit the Frog, Beaker, Andy Pig, Rizzo the Rat, "Rock Lobster" vocalist, Piranha
Leslie Carrara-Rudolph - Spamela Hamderson
Alice Dinnean
Thom Fountain
John Kennedy - Female Rock Lobster
Bruce Lanoil
Len Levitt
Drew Massey
Joe Selph
Allan Trautman

Cast[]

Muppets:

Clifford, Lobsters, Rats, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Beaker, Seymour, Pepe the King Prawn, Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy, Gonzo, Dr. Julius Strangepork, Andy and Randy Pig, Statler and Waldorf, David Hoggselhoff, Sal Manilla, Johnny Fiama, Spamela Hamderson, Rizzo the Rat, Bobo the Bear, Nigel, Mr. Callahan, Polly Lobster, Clueless Morgan, Snookie Blyer, Big Mean Carl, Arthur Modell, Rufus, Ernst Stavros Grouper, Zippity Zap, Agnes Stonewick, Penguins

Background Muppets

Clarissa, Chip, Guitar Atric, Muppets Tonight floor manager

Gallery[]

Sources[]

  1. contactmusic.com "Pierce Brosnan Impressed Muppets With Fire Eating Talents" May 3, 2013


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