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+ | ''[[The Muppet Show]]'' transcript for [[Episode 212: Bernadette Peters]]. |
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+ | ==Cold open== |
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+ | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top |
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+ | |- |
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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+ | | ''The dressing room. Scooter knocks and peers in.'' |
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− | ==Cold open== |
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− | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=12 valign=top |
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Scooter |
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− | | || ''The dressing room. Scooter knocks and peers in.'' |
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+ | | Bernadette Peters. Oh, 15 seconds to curtain, Miss Peters! |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Bernadette |
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− | | '''Scooter''' || Bernadette Peters. Oh, 15 seconds to curtain, Miss Peters! |
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+ | | Thanks, Scooter, and uh … thank the Swedish Chef for sending in this lovely chicken sandwich. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | '''Bernadette''' || Thanks, Scooter, and uh … thank the Swedish Chef for sending in this lovely chicken sandwich. |
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+ | | ''The chicken is still alive.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Bernadette |
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− | | || ''The chicken is still alive.'' |
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+ | | Suddenly, I'm not hungry. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | '''Bernadette''' || Suddenly, I'm not hungry. |
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+ | | [[Image:Bernadette-peters-chicken.jpg|200px]] |
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− | |- |
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+ | |||
− | | || [[Image:Bernadette-peters-chicken.jpg|300px]] |
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|} |
|} |
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==Theme== |
==Theme== |
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− | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding= |
+ | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top |
+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || It's ''The Muppet Show'', with our special guest star Miss Bernadette Peters! Yaayyy! |
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+ | | It's ''The Muppet Show'', with our special guest star Miss Bernadette Peters! Yaayyy! |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''The curtain opens, and the [[The Muppet Show Theme|theme]] begins.'' |
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+ | | ''The curtain opens, and the [[The Muppet Show Theme|theme]] begins.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Statler |
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− | | '''Statler''' || No, please don't make me watch it! |
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+ | | No, please don't make me watch it! |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image: 212-1.jpg|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image: 212-1.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''A balloon comes out of Gonzo's trumpet, but fails to blow up all the way.'' |
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+ | | ''A balloon comes out of Gonzo's trumpet, but fails to blow up all the way.'' |
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+ | |||
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|} |
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==Opening number== |
==Opening number== |
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− | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding= |
+ | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top |
+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Main stage. Kermit enters to applause, wearing a tux.'' |
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+ | | ''Main stage. Kermit enters to applause, wearing a tux.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image:TMS-ep212-Goof1.png|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image:TMS-ep212-Goof1.png|200px]] |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Okay! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Right, and welcome again to ''The Muppet Show''. Hey, we have a wonderful show for you tonight, because oiur guest star is one of the all time multitalented, beautiful ladies of the world, Miss Bernadette Peters. ''(applause)'' Okay, but first of all — first of all, we've got an opening number, which features me. I do sing and dance occasionally, so you'll know I'm not just another pretty face. |
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+ | | Okay! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Right, and welcome again to ''The Muppet Show''. Hey, we have a wonderful show for you tonight, because oiur guest star is one of the all time multitalented, beautiful ladies of the world, Miss Bernadette Peters. ''(applause)'' Okay, but first of all — first of all, we've got an opening number, which features me. I do sing and dance occasionally, so you'll know I'm not just another pretty face. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''The audience laughs. Piggy comes onstage, preening herself.'' |
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+ | | ''The audience laughs. Piggy comes onstage, preening herself.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
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− | | '''Miss Piggy''' || Uh, Kermie, my love? |
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+ | | Uh, Kermie, my love? |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Mmm? |
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+ | | Mmm? |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
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− | | '''Miss Piggy''' || About the opening number. It is a, uh, duet. |
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+ | | About the opening number. It is a, uh, duet. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || That's true. |
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+ | | That's true. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image: 212-2.jpg|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image: 212-2.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
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− | | '''Miss Piggy''' || I wish you'd told me earlier. I don't have time to learn the lyrics. |
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+ | | I wish you'd told me earlier. I don't have time to learn the lyrics. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Oh, that's okay. I'm doing it with Miss Mousey. ''(walks off)'' |
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+ | | Oh, that's okay. I'm doing it with Miss Mousey. ''(walks off)'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
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− | | '''Miss Piggy''' || Miss Mousey? MISS MOUSEY??!? |
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+ | | Miss Mousey? MISS MOUSEY??!? |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''She runs after him. The curtain opens, and Kermit and Miss Mousey do a duet of "How Could You Believe Me".'' |
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+ | | ''She runs after him. The curtain opens, and Kermit and Miss Mousey do a duet of "How Could You Believe Me".'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image: 212-3.jpg|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image: 212-3.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''In the balcony, Piggy stands behind Statler and joins him in booing.'' |
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+ | | ''In the balcony, Piggy stands behind Statler and joins him in booing.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image: 212-4.jpg|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image: 212-4.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Statler |
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− | | '''Statler''' || Boo! Hiss! Terrible. |
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+ | | Boo! Hiss! Terrible. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
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− | | '''Miss Piggy''' || Boo! SSSS! |
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+ | | Boo! SSSS! |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Statler |
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− | | '''Statler''' || I hated it. |
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+ | | I hated it. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Waldorf |
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− | | '''Waldorf''' || Really? I kind of liked it. |
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+ | | Really? I kind of liked it. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Statler |
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− | | '''Statler''' || Well, the pig doesn't have ''you'' in a hammerlock. Ohh! Boo! Hiss! Terrible! |
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+ | | Well, the pig doesn't have ''you'' in a hammerlock. Ohh! Boo! Hiss! Terrible! |
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+ | |||
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− | | |
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
+ | | Boo. |
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+ | |||
|} |
|} |
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==Backstage== |
==Backstage== |
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− | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding= |
+ | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top |
+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Robin sits on the floor.'' |
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+ | | ''Robin sits on the floor.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image: 212-5.jpg|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image: 212-5.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || Let's see if I've got it right now. Ahem. "Uncle Kermit, despite my small size and diminutive sta —" |
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+ | | Let's see if I've got it right now. Ahem. "Uncle Kermit, despite my small size and diminutive sta —" |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Kermit enters the frame.'' |
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+ | | ''Kermit enters the frame.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Okay, hey, listen, uh, big monsters on stage for the Bernadette Peters number! |
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+ | | Okay, hey, listen, uh, big monsters on stage for the Bernadette Peters number! |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Sweetums, Thog and Timmy pass by and almost step on Robin.'' |
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+ | | ''Sweetums, Thog and Timmy pass by and almost step on Robin.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Come on, you guys. Move it. Move it. Come on. Move it. Move it. |
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+ | | Come on, you guys. Move it. Move it. Come on. Move it. Move it. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || Look out! You almost stepped on me. |
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+ | | Look out! You almost stepped on me. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Aw, come on now, you can't go on stage looking like that. Now get back out there! You gotta brush your hair. |
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+ | | Aw, come on now, you can't go on stage looking like that. Now get back out there! You gotta brush your hair. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''The monsters walk over Robin again, in the other direction.'' |
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+ | | ''The monsters walk over Robin again, in the other direction.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Come on! Bernadette Peters is a big star. You gotta clean up. Clean up. Come on, come on, we don't have much time. |
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+ | | Come on! Bernadette Peters is a big star. You gotta clean up. Clean up. Come on, come on, we don't have much time. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || Aw. Nobody ever notices me. Uh, "Uncle Kermit, uh, despite my small size and diminutive stature…" |
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+ | | Aw. Nobody ever notices me. Uh, "Uncle Kermit, uh, despite my small size and diminutive stature…" |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''The monsters walk over Robin again, onstage.'' |
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+ | | ''The monsters walk over Robin again, onstage.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Okay, come on! HURRY UP! HURRY UP! The number is about to start! Get on stage, get on stage! |
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+ | | Okay, come on! HURRY UP! HURRY UP! The number is about to start! Get on stage, get on stage! |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || … "I'm known to be the center of attraction wherever I go, and I want a feature part in the show!" Aww, rats. |
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+ | | … "I'm known to be the center of attraction wherever I go, and I want a feature part in the show!" Aww, rats. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image: 212-6.jpg|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image: 212-6.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | |||
|} |
|} |
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+ | |||
=="Take a Little One Step"== |
=="Take a Little One Step"== |
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− | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding= |
+ | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top |
+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Main stage. Kermit enters.'' |
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+ | | ''Main stage. Kermit enters.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || And now, ladies and gentlemen, one of the loveliest ladies in all of show business … |
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+ | | And now, ladies and gentlemen, one of the loveliest ladies in all of show business … |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
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− | | '''Miss Piggy''' || Uh, Kermie, you're not bringing that Miss Mousey back, are you? |
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+ | | Uh, Kermie, you're not bringing that Miss Mousey back, are you? |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Uh, no, this is our guest star, Bernadette Peters. |
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+ | | Uh, no, this is our guest star, Bernadette Peters. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
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− | | '''Miss Piggy''' || Well, you're not singing with ''her,'' are you? |
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+ | | Well, you're not singing with ''her,'' are you? |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || No, no, no, no. She's working with some of our big, ugly, shaggy beasts. |
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+ | | No, no, no, no. She's working with some of our big, ugly, shaggy beasts. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
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− | | '''Miss Piggy''' || Sounds like Miss Mousey to me. ''(exits)'' |
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+ | | Sounds like Miss Mousey to me. ''(exits)'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Will you get out of here! Ladies and gentlemen, the beautiful Miss Bernadette Peters. |
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+ | | Will you get out of here! Ladies and gentlemen, the beautiful Miss Bernadette Peters. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image: 212-7.jpg|200px]] [[Image: Bernadette-peters-monsters.jpg|200px]] [[Image: 212-8.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | | [[Image: 212-8.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''The curtain opens. Bernadette Peters sings "[[Take a Little One Step]]" while dancing with Sweetums, Thog, and Timmy.'' |
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+ | | ''The curtain opens. Bernadette Peters sings "[[Take a Little One Step]]" while dancing with Sweetums, Thog, and Timmy.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Waldorf |
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− | | '''Waldorf''' || Wow, wonderful, wonderful. That Bernadette Peters is terrific. |
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+ | | Wow, wonderful, wonderful. That Bernadette Peters is terrific. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Statler |
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− | | '''Statler''' || Well, I reserve judgment. |
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+ | | Well, I reserve judgment. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Waldorf |
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− | | '''Waldorf''' || Till when? |
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+ | | Till when? |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Statler |
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− | | '''Statler''' || Till the pig tells me what to say. |
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+ | | Till the pig tells me what to say. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
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− | | '''Miss Piggy''' || Bernadette Peters you can like. |
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+ | | Bernadette Peters you can like. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Statler |
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− | | '''Statler''' || I loved her, I loved her! |
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+ | | I loved her, I loved her! |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Waldorf |
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− | | '''Waldorf''' || Good, good. |
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+ | | Good, good. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
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− | | '''Miss Piggy''' || It's the mouse you gotta hate. |
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+ | | It's the mouse you gotta hate. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Statler |
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− | | '''Statler''' || I hated her! |
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+ | | I hated her! |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Waldorf |
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− | | '''Waldorf''' || Terrible mouse! |
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+ | | Terrible mouse! |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Statler |
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− | | '''Statler''' || Yeah, rotten! |
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+ | | Yeah, rotten! |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Waldorf |
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− | | '''Waldorf''' || Boo! |
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+ | | Boo! |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Statler |
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− | | '''Statler''' || Boo! |
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+ | | Boo! |
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|} |
|} |
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==Backstage== |
==Backstage== |
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− | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding= |
+ | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top |
+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''In the prop room, Robin is nowhere to be seen on camera.'' |
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+ | | ''In the prop room, Robin is nowhere to be seen on camera.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || Aw, gee. I'm so small, they don't even see me most of the time. |
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+ | | Aw, gee. I'm so small, they don't even see me most of the time. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Audience: "Awww." Robin pops up from behind an open suitcase.'' |
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+ | | ''Audience: "Awww." Robin pops up from behind an open suitcase.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || And then when they do, they don't think I can do anything right. |
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+ | | And then when they do, they don't think I can do anything right. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image: 212-9.jpg|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image: 212-9.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || Well, I'll show 'em. I'm running away. The next time they turn around and don't see me, I'll be gone. Then they'll see I can do something right. |
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+ | | Well, I'll show 'em. I'm running away. The next time they turn around and don't see me, I'll be gone. Then they'll see I can do something right. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''He accidentally shuts himself in his own suitcase.'' |
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+ | | ''He accidentally shuts himself in his own suitcase.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || Aw, rats. |
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+ | | Aw, rats. |
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+ | |||
|} |
|} |
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==Chickens== |
==Chickens== |
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− | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding= |
+ | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top |
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image: 212-10.jpg|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image: 212-10.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Three chickens play "[[Chopsticks]]" on the piano.'' |
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+ | | ''Three chickens play "[[Chopsticks]]" on the piano.'' |
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+ | |||
|} |
|} |
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==Veterinarian's Hospital== |
==Veterinarian's Hospital== |
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− | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding= |
+ | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top |
+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Open on Nurse Piggy, fooling around with some tongue depressors. Noticing she's on camera, she takes her position at the operating table.'' |
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+ | | ''Open on Nurse Piggy, fooling around with some tongue depressors. Noticing she's on camera, she takes her position at the operating table.'' |
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+ | |||
|- |
|- |
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image: 212-11.jpg|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image: 212-11.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | |||
|- |
|- |
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Announcer |
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− | | '''Announcer''' || And now, ''Veterinarian's Hospital,'' the continuing stoooory of a quack who's gone to the dogs. |
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+ | | And now, ''Veterinarian's Hospital,'' the continuing stoooory of a quack who's gone to the dogs. |
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+ | |||
|- |
|- |
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Rowlf |
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− | | '''Rowlf''' || ''(speaking into the stethoscope)'' Testing, one, two, three. Mm? Oh. Ahem. |
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+ | | ''(speaking into the stethoscope)'' Testing, one, two, three. Mm? Oh. Ahem. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Janice |
||
− | | '''Janice''' || Oh, here, Dr. Bob. Here's your next patient. |
||
+ | | Oh, here, Dr. Bob. Here's your next patient. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Rowlf |
||
− | | '''Rowlf''' || Oh. |
||
+ | | Oh. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''He uncovers a shoe on the operating table.'' |
||
+ | | ''He uncovers a shoe on the operating table.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Rowlf |
||
− | | '''Rowlf''' || Hey! This is just a shoe. What happened to the rest of him? |
||
+ | | Hey! This is just a shoe. What happened to the rest of him? |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
||
− | | '''Miss Piggy''' || Maybe he got cold feet. |
||
+ | | Maybe he got cold feet. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''They all laugh.'' |
||
+ | | ''They all laugh.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Rowlf |
||
− | | '''Rowlf''' || Now, let's see what's wrong with him. A-ha! It's an eight and a half triple D. |
||
+ | | Now, let's see what's wrong with him. A-ha! It's an eight and a half triple D. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Janice |
||
− | | '''Janice''' || Eight and a half triple D? |
||
+ | | Eight and a half triple D? |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Rowlf |
||
− | | '''Rowlf''' || That's about the size of it. ''(laughs with Piggy)'' |
||
+ | | That's about the size of it. ''(laughs with Piggy)'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || [[Image: 212-12.jpg|300px]] |
||
+ | | [[Image: 212-12.jpg|200px]] |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
||
− | | '''Miss Piggy''' || Oh, Dr. Bob, what are you going to start on? |
||
+ | | Oh, Dr. Bob, what are you going to start on? |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Rowlf |
||
− | | '''Rowlf''' || The shoe string. A lot of people start on a shoestring. |
||
+ | | The shoe string. A lot of people start on a shoestring. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Janice |
||
− | | '''Janice''' || Well, what do you think, Dr. Bob? |
||
+ | | Well, what do you think, Dr. Bob? |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Rowlf |
||
− | | '''Rowlf''' || Simple. It's arsenic poisoning. |
||
+ | | Simple. It's arsenic poisoning. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Janice |
||
− | | '''Janice''' || Arsenic? |
||
+ | | Arsenic? |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Rowlf |
||
− | | '''Rowlf''' || Sure, just look at this old lace. |
||
+ | | Sure, just look at this old lace. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
||
− | | '''Miss Piggy''' || Arsenic and Old Lace? |
||
+ | | Arsenic and Old Lace? |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''They all laugh.'' |
||
+ | | ''They all laugh.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
||
− | | '''Miss Piggy''' || Dr. Bob, Dr. Bob, that's an old show. |
||
+ | | Dr. Bob, Dr. Bob, that's an old show. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Rowlf |
||
− | | '''Rowlf''' || Well, that's an old shoe. |
||
+ | | Well, that's an old shoe. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Janice |
||
− | | '''Janice''' || Well, that's an old joke. |
||
+ | | Well, that's an old joke. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''They all laugh.'' |
||
+ | | ''They all laugh.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
||
− | | '''Miss Piggy''' || Oh, Dr. Bob, aren't you going to examine the patient? |
||
+ | | Oh, Dr. Bob, aren't you going to examine the patient? |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Rowlf |
||
− | | '''Rowlf''' || Uh, yes. Hey, shoe, stick out your tongue and say "ahh". |
||
+ | | Uh, yes. Hey, shoe, stick out your tongue and say "ahh". |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Shoe |
||
− | | '''Shoe''' || ''(sticks out tongue)'' Ahh. |
||
+ | | ''(sticks out tongue)'' Ahh. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Janice |
||
− | | '''Janice''' || Dr. Bob, the tongue has a coat on it. |
||
+ | | Dr. Bob, the tongue has a coat on it. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Rowlf |
||
− | | '''Rowlf''' || Of course, it's cold outside. |
||
+ | | Of course, it's cold outside. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Janice |
||
− | | '''Janice''' || How do you know? |
||
+ | | How do you know? |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Rowlf |
||
− | | '''Rowlf''' || ''Oh, the leather outside is frightful …'' |
||
+ | | ''Oh, the leather outside is frightful …'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''They all laugh.'' |
||
+ | | ''They all laugh.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
||
− | | '''Miss Piggy''' || Dr. Bob. You're not going to sing a song now, are you? |
||
+ | | Dr. Bob. You're not going to sing a song now, are you? |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Rowlf |
||
− | | '''Rowlf''' || Why not? There's no business like shoe-business. |
||
+ | | Why not? There's no business like shoe-business. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''They all laugh, and look up when they hear the announcer.'' |
||
+ | | ''They all laugh, and look up when they hear the announcer.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Announcer |
||
− | | '''Announcer''' || And so, once again, Dr. Bob is barking up the wrong shoe tree. |
||
+ | | And so, once again, Dr. Bob is barking up the wrong shoe tree. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Rowlf |
||
− | | '''Rowlf''' || Woof woof! |
||
+ | | Woof woof! |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Announcer |
||
− | | '''Announcer''' || Tune in next time, when you'll hear Nurse Piggy, Nurse Janice and Dr. Bob sing... |
||
+ | | Tune in next time, when you'll hear Nurse Piggy, Nurse Janice and Dr. Bob sing... |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | All |
||
− | | '''All''' || ''He'll never walk alone!'' |
||
+ | | ''He'll never walk alone!'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''They all laugh.'' |
||
+ | | ''They all laugh.'' |
||
+ | |||
|} |
|} |
||
==UK spot== |
==UK spot== |
||
− | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding= |
+ | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top |
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || [[Image: 212-13.jpg|300px]] |
||
+ | | [[Image: 212-13.jpg|200px]] |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''[[Uncle Deadly]] and [[the Sheikh's Wife]] sing "[[Sheik of Araby]]."'' |
||
+ | | ''[[Uncle Deadly]] and [[the Sheikh's Wife]] sing "[[Sheik of Araby]]."'' |
||
+ | |||
|} |
|} |
||
==The Ant and the Grasshopper== |
==The Ant and the Grasshopper== |
||
− | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding= |
+ | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top |
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''Sam stands by a small stage holding a book as harpsichord music plays.'' |
||
+ | | ''Sam stands by a small stage holding a book as harpsichord music plays.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || [[Image:Grasshopper.JPG|300px]] |
||
+ | | [[Image:Grasshopper.JPG|200px]] |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Sam the Eagle |
||
− | | '''Sam the Eagle''' || What — now? Oh. Ahem. Ladies and gentlemen, I, Sam the Eagle, will now read a fable, which should serve as a moral lesson to us all. Ahem. Once upon a time, there was an ant and a grasshopper. |
||
+ | | What — now? Oh. Ahem. Ladies and gentlemen, I, Sam the Eagle, will now read a fable, which should serve as a moral lesson to us all. Ahem. Once upon a time, there was an ant and a grasshopper. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''They appear on the stage.'' |
||
+ | | ''They appear on the stage.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Sam the Eagle |
||
− | | '''Sam the Eagle''' || It was warm and sunny where they lived. But the ant worked day and night, from dawn to dusk, storing food for the long, hard winter he knew would come. |
||
+ | | It was warm and sunny where they lived. But the ant worked day and night, from dawn to dusk, storing food for the long, hard winter he knew would come. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Ant |
||
− | | '''Ant''' || Ohh, toil and labor, work and strife, are all that matter in this life. |
||
+ | | Ohh, toil and labor, work and strife, are all that matter in this life. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Sam the Eagle |
||
− | | '''Sam the Eagle''' || Oh, the ant is a wonderful character. But meanwhile, the lazy, pleasure-loving grasshopper sang and danced with appalling abandon. |
||
+ | | Oh, the ant is a wonderful character. But meanwhile, the lazy, pleasure-loving grasshopper sang and danced with appalling abandon. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Grasshopper |
||
− | | '''Grasshopper''' || Winter will fall and snow will come, but now it's time to have some fun. Hoo hoo! |
||
+ | | Winter will fall and snow will come, but now it's time to have some fun. Hoo hoo! |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Sam the Eagle |
||
− | | '''Sam the Eagle''' || Shocking! Shocking! And eventually, just as expected, winter came. |
||
+ | | Shocking! Shocking! And eventually, just as expected, winter came. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''The "winter" backdrop is lowered.'' |
||
+ | | ''The "winter" backdrop is lowered.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Sam the Eagle |
||
− | | '''Sam the Eagle''' || Very nice. And then it was, dear listeners... ahem. ''(turns the page)'' ... that the grasshopper drove his sports car to Florida, and the ant got stepped on. What? |
||
+ | | Very nice. And then it was, dear listeners... ahem. ''(turns the page)'' ... that the grasshopper drove his sports car to Florida, and the ant got stepped on. What? |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''Both of those things happen onstage.'' |
||
+ | | ''Both of those things happen onstage.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || [[Image: 212-14.jpg|300px]] |
||
+ | | [[Image: 212-14.jpg|200px]] |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Sam the Eagle |
||
− | | '''Sam the Eagle''' || Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! That was not in the script! Someone changed it! We'll — we'll have to do it again! ''(facepalms)'' |
||
+ | | Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! That was not in the script! Someone changed it! We'll — we'll have to do it again! ''(facepalms)'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Statler |
||
− | | '''Statler''' || The grasshopper drove to Florida. ''(laughs)'' |
||
+ | | The grasshopper drove to Florida. ''(laughs)'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Waldorf |
||
− | | '''Waldorf''' || The ant got stepped on. ''(they laugh)'' |
||
+ | | The ant got stepped on. ''(they laugh)'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || [[Image: 212-15.jpg|300px]] |
||
+ | | [[Image: 212-15.jpg|200px]] |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
− | | |
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Sam the Eagle |
+ | | Will you stop that? |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Waldorf |
||
− | | '''Waldorf''' || ''(whimpers)'' Why are they picking on us tonight? |
||
+ | | ''(whimpers)'' Why are they picking on us tonight? |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Statler |
||
− | | '''Statler''' || ''(mumbles)'' I dunno … |
||
+ | | ''(mumbles)'' I dunno … |
||
+ | |||
|} |
|} |
||
==Dressing room== |
==Dressing room== |
||
− | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding= |
+ | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top |
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''Bernadette powders her face in the mirror. Robin pops up.'' |
||
+ | | ''Bernadette powders her face in the mirror. Robin pops up.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
||
− | | '''Robin''' || Ahem! Hello, Miss Peters. |
||
+ | | Ahem! Hello, Miss Peters. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Bernadette |
||
− | | '''Bernadette''' || Oh! Hello, Robin. I didn't see you. |
||
+ | | Oh! Hello, Robin. I didn't see you. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
||
− | | '''Robin''' || Yeah, most people don't. Listen, I'm running away from home, but I — I did want to stop and say goodbye. |
||
+ | | Yeah, most people don't. Listen, I'm running away from home, but I — I did want to stop and say goodbye. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || [[Image: 212-16.jpg|300px]] |
||
+ | | [[Image: 212-16.jpg|200px]] |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Bernadette |
||
− | | '''Bernadette''' || Oh, you're running away from home? How come? |
||
+ | | Oh, you're running away from home? How come? |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
||
− | | '''Robin''' || Well, because nobody notices me around here. |
||
+ | | Well, because nobody notices me around here. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Bernadette |
||
− | | '''Bernadette''' || Oh, really? I hadn't noticed. |
||
+ | | Oh, really? I hadn't noticed. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
||
− | | '''Robin''' || ''(nods)'' See? I mean, no one cares about a six-ounce frog. |
||
+ | | ''(nods)'' See? I mean, no one cares about a six-ounce frog. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Bernadette |
||
− | | '''Bernadette''' || Robin, you've got to believe in yourself. |
||
+ | | Robin, you've got to believe in yourself. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
||
− | | '''Robin''' || Hmm? |
||
+ | | Hmm? |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Bernadette |
||
− | | '''Bernadette''' || If just one person believes in you, ''(music swells up)'' deep enough and strong enough, believes in you…<br> |
||
+ | | If just one person believes in you, ''(music swells up)'' deep enough and strong enough, believes in you…<br> |
||
''Hard enough, and long enough,''<br> |
''Hard enough, and long enough,''<br> |
||
''Before you knew it, someone else would think,''<br> |
''Before you knew it, someone else would think,''<br> |
||
''"If he can do it, I can do it"…'' |
''"If he can do it, I can do it"…'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''Kermit shows up.'' |
||
+ | | ''Kermit shows up.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Bernadette |
||
− | | '''Bernadette''' || ''Making it …'' |
||
+ | | ''Making it …'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
− | | |
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Bernadette, Kermit |
+ | | |
||
''Two whole people who believe in you,''<br> |
''Two whole people who believe in you,''<br> |
||
''Deep enough, and strong enough, believe in you,''<br> |
''Deep enough, and strong enough, believe in you,''<br> |
||
''Hard enough and long enough, there's bound to be some ''<br> |
''Hard enough and long enough, there's bound to be some ''<br> |
||
''Other person who believes in making it a threesome, making it …''<br> |
''Other person who believes in making it a threesome, making it …''<br> |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
− | | |
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Bernadette, Kermit, Fozzie |
+ | | |
||
''Three…''<br> |
''Three…''<br> |
||
''People you can say believe in me.'' |
''People you can say believe in me.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''Scooter, Gonzo, Droop, Rowlf, Green Frackle and Miss Mousey join them.'' |
||
+ | | ''Scooter, Gonzo, Droop, Rowlf, Green Frackle and Miss Mousey join them.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || [[Image: 212-17.jpg|300px]] |
||
+ | | [[Image: 212-17.jpg|200px]] |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
− | | |
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Bernadette & Muppets |
+ | | |
||
''And if three whole people, why not four?''<br> |
''And if three whole people, why not four?''<br> |
||
''And if four whole people, why not more, and more, and more…''<br> |
''And if four whole people, why not more, and more, and more…''<br> |
||
Line 392: | Line 731: | ||
''And maybe even you (maybe even you …)''<br> |
''And maybe even you (maybe even you …)''<br> |
||
''Can believe in you, too.'' |
''Can believe in you, too.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''She gives Robin a kiss. Applause.'' |
||
+ | | ''She gives Robin a kiss. Applause.'' |
||
+ | |||
|} |
|} |
||
==The Swedish Chef== |
==The Swedish Chef== |
||
− | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding= |
+ | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top |
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''Open on the Chef, with a chicken in a box of hay. He waves two spoons and sings.'' |
||
+ | | ''Open on the Chef, with a chicken in a box of hay. He waves two spoons and sings.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Swedish Chef |
||
− | | '''Swedish Chef''' || ''(sings in mock Swedish)'' … Børk børk børk! |
||
+ | | ''(sings in mock Swedish)'' … Børk børk børk! |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''He tosses the spoons.'' |
||
+ | | ''He tosses the spoons.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Swedish Chef |
||
− | | '''Swedish Chef''' || ''(mock Swedish)'' … de lîttël chïcky-bøo. And de chïcky-bøo … ''(points to a frying pan)'' … lay de ëgg. |
||
+ | | ''(mock Swedish)'' … de lîttël chïcky-bøo. And de chïcky-bøo … ''(points to a frying pan)'' … lay de ëgg. |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''The chicken refuses the Chef's commands. The Chef waves a meat cleaver.'' |
||
+ | | ''The chicken refuses the Chef's commands. The Chef waves a meat cleaver.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Chicken |
||
− | | '''Chicken''' || Oh, okay! Okay! ''(clucks)'' |
||
+ | | Oh, okay! Okay! ''(clucks)'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || ''The Chef looks under the chicken and picks up a bomb with a lit fuse.'' |
||
+ | | ''The Chef looks under the chicken and picks up a bomb with a lit fuse.'' |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
− | | |
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Swedish Chef |
+ | | ''(mock Swedish)'' … de bøøm? |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || [[Image:Chickenbomb.JPG|300px]] [[Image: 212-18.jpg|300px]] |
||
+ | | [[Image: 212-18.jpg|200px]] |
||
+ | |||
|- |
|- |
||
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
||
− | | || '''''KABLOOEY!''' The chicken laughs.'' |
||
+ | | ''Explosion. The chicken laughs.'' |
||
+ | |||
|} |
|} |
||
==Backstage== |
==Backstage== |
||
− | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding= |
+ | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top |
+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Okay. Is he all right? ''(Scooter runs by and nods)'' Good. Okay. |
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+ | | Okay. Is he all right? ''(Scooter runs by and nods)'' Good. Okay. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || Hi, Uncle Kermit. |
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+ | | Hi, Uncle Kermit. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Oh, hi there, Robin. |
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+ | | Oh, hi there, Robin. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || Hey, I feel just great after talking to Bernadette. |
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+ | | Hey, I feel just great after talking to Bernadette. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Good. |
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+ | | Good. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || Yeah. Say, listen, can I do a song on the show tonight? |
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+ | | Yeah. Say, listen, can I do a song on the show tonight? |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Oh, funny you should mention it, Robin, you know, I was just thinking the same thing. |
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+ | | Oh, funny you should mention it, Robin, you know, I was just thinking the same thing. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || Oh, boy! Look, the way I see it … |
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+ | | Oh, boy! Look, the way I see it … |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Mm-hm? |
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+ | | Mm-hm? |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || … the curtain opens, and I'm standing there in a spotlight. |
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+ | | … the curtain opens, and I'm standing there in a spotlight. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Mm-hm. |
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+ | | Mm-hm. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image: 212-19.jpg|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image: 212-19.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || The music swells and I sing, ''Away out here, they've got a name …'' |
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+ | | The music swells and I sing, ''Away out here, they've got a name …'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Oh, no, no, no, no, no. "They Call the Wind Maria"? |
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+ | | Oh, no, no, no, no, no. "They Call the Wind Maria"? |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || Yeah. Great, huh? |
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+ | | Yeah. Great, huh? |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Uh, Robin, that's ridiculous. No no no, listen. I have a cute little song here that's much more fitting to a frog your age. It's called "I'm Five." |
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+ | | Uh, Robin, that's ridiculous. No no no, listen. I have a cute little song here that's much more fitting to a frog your age. It's called "I'm Five." |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || It's called cute and yucky. I don't wanna do it. |
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+ | | It's called cute and yucky. I don't wanna do it. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Okay. Forget it. |
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+ | | Okay. Forget it. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || Oh, hey. Is that any way to treat a performer? I'm gonna get an agent! I'm gonna get a lawyer! ''(runs away)'' |
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+ | | Oh, hey. Is that any way to treat a performer? I'm gonna get an agent! I'm gonna get a lawyer! ''(runs away)'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Uh, I'm gonna get your father. |
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+ | | Uh, I'm gonna get your father. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || ''(comes back)'' I'm gonna get right out and learn this cute little song. ''(runs off with the sheet music)'' |
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+ | | ''(comes back)'' I'm gonna get right out and learn this cute little song. ''(runs off with the sheet music)'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || I thought he'd see it my way. ''(exits)'' |
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+ | | I thought he'd see it my way. ''(exits)'' |
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+ | |||
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==Muppet Labs== |
==Muppet Labs== |
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− | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding= |
+ | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top |
+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Dr. Bunsen Honeydew |
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− | | '''Dr. Bunsen Honeydew''' || Welcome again to Muppet Labs, where the future is being made today. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew here with news to set you a-quiver. Beaker. Beaker, dear lad, come over here. |
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+ | | Welcome again to Muppet Labs, where the future is being made today. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew here with news to set you a-quiver. Beaker. Beaker, dear lad, come over here. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Beaker comes to Bunsen.'' |
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+ | | ''Beaker comes to Bunsen.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Dr. Bunsen Honeydew |
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− | | '''Dr. Bunsen Honeydew''' || Oh, Beaker, you forgot the beaker. Now, get the beaker, Beaker. Go on. |
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+ | | Oh, Beaker, you forgot the beaker. Now, get the beaker, Beaker. Go on. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Beaker goes to fetch it. Bunsen addresses the crowd.'' |
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+ | | ''Beaker goes to fetch it. Bunsen addresses the crowd.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image: 212-20.jpg|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image: 212-20.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Dr. Bunsen Honeydew |
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− | | '''Dr. Bunsen Honeydew''' || You are about to see the first sample ever isolated of the new element Bunsonium, contained in this self-same beaker here. |
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+ | | You are about to see the first sample ever isolated of the new element Bunsonium, contained in this self-same beaker here. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''He passes it to Beaker. Beaker passes it back out of fear.'' |
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+ | | ''He passes it to Beaker. Beaker passes it back out of fear.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Dr. Bunsen Honeydew |
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− | | '''Dr. Bunsen Honeydew''' || So far we have found no use for Bunsonium. We already know that it does not remove paint, it isn't a good glue, and when used as a shampoo, it produces unusual side effects. Right, Beaker? |
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+ | | So far we have found no use for Bunsonium. We already know that it does not remove paint, it isn't a good glue, and when used as a shampoo, it produces unusual side effects. Right, Beaker? |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Beaker sighs, removes his hair and sticks it back on.'' |
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+ | | ''Beaker sighs, removes his hair and sticks it back on.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Dr. Bunsen Honeydew |
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− | | '''Dr. Bunsen Honeydew''' || So today, we begin an experiment to see what Bunsonium does when taken internally. |
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+ | | So today, we begin an experiment to see what Bunsonium does when taken internally. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''They pass it back and forth again.'' |
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+ | | ''They pass it back and forth again.'' |
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+ | |||
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− | | |
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Dr. Bunsen Honeydew |
+ | | My assistant Beaker here will now drink the Bunsonium. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Beaker gasps.'' |
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+ | | ''Beaker gasps.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Dr. Bunsen Honeydew |
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− | | '''Dr. Bunsen Honeydew''' || That's all right. There, there, Beaker. Just take a teensy little sip at first, and remember not to get carried away and gulp the whole thing. Go ahead. It's all right. Go on. |
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+ | | That's all right. There, there, Beaker. Just take a teensy little sip at first, and remember not to get carried away and gulp the whole thing. Go ahead. It's all right. Go on. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Beaker reluctantly sips the solution and starts to quiver.'' |
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+ | | ''Beaker reluctantly sips the solution and starts to quiver.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Dr. Bunsen Honeydew |
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− | | '''Dr. Bunsen Honeydew''' || Good. And now, in just a few moments, we shall know exactly what Bunsonium does. |
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+ | | Good. And now, in just a few moments, we shall know exactly what Bunsonium does. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Beaker's head deflates.'' |
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+ | | ''Beaker's head deflates.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image:Labs.bunsonium.jpg|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image:Labs.bunsonium.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Dr. Bunsen Honeydew |
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− | | '''Dr. Bunsen Honeydew''' || Oh, so that's what Bunsonium does. Come, Beaker, let's go find a bicycle pump and pump you back up. |
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+ | | Oh, so that's what Bunsonium does. Come, Beaker, let's go find a bicycle pump and pump you back up. |
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+ | |||
|} |
|} |
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=="I'm Five"== |
=="I'm Five"== |
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− | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding= |
+ | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top |
+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Main stage. Kermit enters.'' |
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+ | | ''Main stage. Kermit enters.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Well, it's introduction time. So here he is, my own cute little nephew, Robin, singing "I'm Five". |
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+ | | Well, it's introduction time. So here he is, my own cute little nephew, Robin, singing "I'm Five". |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image:Song.imfive.jpg|300px]] [[Image: 212-21.jpg|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image:Song.imfive.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Open on Robin sitting in a big easy chair. After he sings the cute little song, he gets applause.'' |
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+ | | ''Open on Robin sitting in a big easy chair. After he sings the cute little song, he gets applause.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || And now for my next number — ''Away out here they've got a name, for wind and rain and fire…'' |
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+ | | And now for my next number — ''Away out here they've got a name, for wind and rain and fire…'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image: 212-22.jpg|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image: 212-22.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''He is yanked offstage by a cane.'' |
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+ | | ''He is yanked offstage by a cane.'' |
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+ | |||
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==Muppet newsflash== |
==Muppet newsflash== |
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− | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding= |
+ | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top |
+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Newsman |
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− | | '''Newsman''' || Here's a Muppet newsflash. ''(runs to the desk)'' Dateline ''The Muppet Show''. It has been reported just moments ago that a large, heavy object was dropped from the ceiling. Further developments will... |
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+ | | Here's a Muppet newsflash. ''(runs to the desk)'' Dateline ''The Muppet Show''. It has been reported just moments ago that a large, heavy object was dropped from the ceiling. Further developments will... |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''KLANG! An anvil falls on him.'' |
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+ | | ''KLANG! An anvil falls on him.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image: 212-23.jpg|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image: 212-23.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | |||
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=="Apple Jack"== |
=="Apple Jack"== |
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− | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding= |
+ | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top |
+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Main stage. Kermit enters.'' |
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+ | | ''Main stage. Kermit enters.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Olay, and now let's go down home for a little singin', a little banjo pickin' and a little "Apple Jack" with the lovely Miss Bernadette Peters. |
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+ | | Olay, and now let's go down home for a little singin', a little banjo pickin' and a little "Apple Jack" with the lovely Miss Bernadette Peters. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image: 212-24.jpg|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image: 212-24.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Bernadette sings "Apple Jack" with [[Lubbock Lou and his Jughuggers]].'' |
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+ | | ''Bernadette sings "Apple Jack" with [[Lubbock Lou and his Jughuggers]].'' |
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+ | |||
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|} |
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==Goodnights== |
==Goodnights== |
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− | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding= |
+ | {| border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top |
+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Okay. Well, we did the beginning part of the show, and then we did the middle part, so this has to be the end part. So let us have a warm thank you to our very special guest, Miss Bernadette Peters! |
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+ | | Okay. Well, we did the beginning part of the show, and then we did the middle part, so this has to be the end part. So let us have a warm thank you to our very special guest, Miss Bernadette Peters! |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''Applause.'' |
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+ | | ''Applause.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Bernadette |
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− | | '''Bernadette''' || Thank you, Kermit. You know, it's really been fun. But I especially want to thank Mr. Big, Robin the Frog. |
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+ | | Thank you, Kermit. You know, it's really been fun. But I especially want to thank Mr. Big, Robin the Frog. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image: 212-25.jpg|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image: 212-25.jpg|200px]] |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Robin |
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− | | '''Robin''' || ''(sitting on her shoulder)'' Aww, gee, Bernadette. Thanks a lot. Hey, I really had a great ti— WHOA! ''(he falls off)'' |
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+ | | ''(sitting on her shoulder)'' Aww, gee, Bernadette. Thanks a lot. Hey, I really had a great ti— WHOA! ''(he falls off)'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Kermit |
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− | | '''Kermit''' || Hey, we'll see you next time on ''The Muppet Show''. Okay? |
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+ | | Hey, we'll see you next time on ''The Muppet Show''. Okay? |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Bernadette |
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− | | '''Bernadette''' || ''(picks him up)'' He's OK. |
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+ | | ''(picks him up)'' He's OK. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || ''The credits roll.'' |
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+ | | ''The credits roll.'' |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Statler |
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− | | '''Statler''' || Seriously, what'd you think of Miss Mousey? |
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+ | | Seriously, what'd you think of Miss Mousey? |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Waldorf |
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− | | '''Waldorf''' || I loved her. |
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+ | | I loved her. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Statler |
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− | | '''Statler''' || Me too. |
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+ | | Me too. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
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− | | '''Miss Piggy''' || ''(pops up)'' What? |
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+ | | ''(pops up)'' What?! |
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+ | |||
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− | | |
+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Statler & Waldorf |
+ | | ''(cowering)'' No, we didn't! |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | Miss Piggy |
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− | | '''Miss Piggy''' || Thank you. |
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+ | | Thank you. |
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+ | |||
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+ | | {{scriptleft}} | |
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− | | || [[Image:ATV.png|300px]] |
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+ | | [[Image:ATV.png|200px]] |
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− | |- |
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+ | |||
− | | || <big><big>'''THE END'''</big></big> |
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|} |
|} |
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+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | __NOWYSIWYG__ |
||
[[Category:Muppet Show Transcripts]] |
[[Category:Muppet Show Transcripts]] |
Revision as of 15:17, 1 February 2020
The Muppet Show transcript for Episode 212: Bernadette Peters.
Cold open
Theme
Kermit | It's The Muppet Show, with our special guest star Miss Bernadette Peters! Yaayyy! |
The curtain opens, and the theme begins. | |
Statler | No, please don't make me watch it! |
A balloon comes out of Gonzo's trumpet, but fails to blow up all the way. |
Opening number
Backstage
"Take a Little One Step"
Main stage. Kermit enters. | |
Kermit | And now, ladies and gentlemen, one of the loveliest ladies in all of show business … |
Miss Piggy | Uh, Kermie, you're not bringing that Miss Mousey back, are you? |
Kermit | Uh, no, this is our guest star, Bernadette Peters. |
Miss Piggy | Well, you're not singing with her, are you? |
Kermit | No, no, no, no. She's working with some of our big, ugly, shaggy beasts. |
Miss Piggy | Sounds like Miss Mousey to me. (exits) |
Kermit | Will you get out of here! Ladies and gentlemen, the beautiful Miss Bernadette Peters. |
The curtain opens. Bernadette Peters sings "Take a Little One Step" while dancing with Sweetums, Thog, and Timmy. | |
Waldorf | Wow, wonderful, wonderful. That Bernadette Peters is terrific. |
Statler | Well, I reserve judgment. |
Waldorf | Till when? |
Statler | Till the pig tells me what to say. |
Miss Piggy | Bernadette Peters you can like. |
Statler | I loved her, I loved her! |
Waldorf | Good, good. |
Miss Piggy | It's the mouse you gotta hate. |
Statler | I hated her! |
Waldorf | Terrible mouse! |
Statler | Yeah, rotten! |
Waldorf | Boo! |
Statler | Boo! |
Backstage
Chickens
Three chickens play "Chopsticks" on the piano. |
Veterinarian's Hospital
UK spot
Uncle Deadly and the Sheikh's Wife sing "Sheik of Araby." |
The Ant and the Grasshopper
Dressing room
The Swedish Chef
Backstage
Muppet Labs
"I'm Five"
Muppet newsflash
"Apple Jack"
Main stage. Kermit enters. | |
Kermit | Olay, and now let's go down home for a little singin', a little banjo pickin' and a little "Apple Jack" with the lovely Miss Bernadette Peters. |
Bernadette sings "Apple Jack" with Lubbock Lou and his Jughuggers. |