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The Muppet Show
Teresa Brewer02
Guest Teresa Brewer
Production July 12-14, 1977
Premiere UK: December 2, 1977
NYC: November 21, 1977
Releases Season Two

(TRANSCRIPT)

Miss Piggy overhears Kermit tell Scooter that she's getting too fat to do her ballet number next week, so she decides to go on a diet. She breaks a scale weighing herself, and collapses after exercising with a TV show for a few minutes.

Songs/Sketches[]

Episode[]

Picture Description
222 cold open
Cold Open: Scooter calls for guest star Teresa Brewer, asking if she needs any help. She tells him that she could use a hand, which she receives -- a large Blue Hand.
222 s and w and frackle

222 trumpet
"The Muppet Show Theme": Statler's seat is being occupied by Blue Frackle.

Statler: "Can I see your ticket stub?"

Flames shoot out of Gonzo's trumpet.

Cotton Fields
Teresa Brewer sings "Cotton Fields" backed by Janice, Zoot, Floyd Pepper and Trumpet Girl. Fozzie Bear drives the river boat and rings the bell.
222 kermit scooter
Backstage, Scooter asks Kermit the Frog if he's made a decision about Miss Piggy's ballet number for the following week. Kermit tells Scooter that he's decided to cut it because Miss Piggy is "getting a little bulgy."

Kermit: "The pork no longer fits in the barrel."

Of course, Miss Piggy overhears the whole conversation.

Without letting on that she has heard him, Piggy announces to Kermit that she plans to go on a diet to lose twenty pounds. The idea is met with great enthusiasm.

222 pigs in space

Pigsinspace222
Pigs in Space: Out of Swill

"As we left our heroes the last time, Captain Hogthrob had just discovered the awful truth..."

The oxygen is almost gone, the fuel supplies are down to nothing, and the water is all used up. What could be worse? A crewman announces that they are also out of swill!

Captain Hogthrob orders First Mate Piggy to make some swill.

Piggy: "Me? I'm the first mate! I'm supposed to give orders."

Link: "Okay, then give us twenty-five orders of swill."

Dr. Julius Strangepork: "And one side of coleslaw!"

When Piggy protests by claiming to be a gourmet cook, Hogthrob responds with a request for "swill stroganoff". Piggy refuses to continue the sketch.

Scooter arrives to tell them to get on with the sketch, Hogthrob and Strangepork react by attacking the invading "hideous space creature".

Wildthing
Animal, at his drum kit, sings a frantic "Wild Thing" until Janice and a pig come with nets and drag him away to a sanitarium.
222 gonzo's stunt
Gonzo's stunts: Gonzo recites Shakespeare while hanging by his nose from a feather boa nine feet in the air, but after he gets a couple lines of The Merchant of Venice out, he sneezes and falls.
222 diet

222 frosted frog
Guest Star's Dressing Room: Miss Piggy asks Teresa's advice in behalf of a "friend" who has a "teensy-weensy weight problem". Teresa offers to talk about it over lunch -- a smorgasbord!

Kermit arrives just before Piggy digs in and spoils her diet.

Kermit: "You weren't thinking of doing anything with that cake, there, were you, fat-stuff?"

Piggy: "Not until now."

Piggy pushes Kermit's face into the cake.

222 at the dance
At the Dance: The dancers tell diet jokes.

One dancer reveals his diet secret: carrots! He then reveals another secret -- he's grown rabbit ears.

The last joke ends with all the dancers falling through the floor.

Song.cheesecake
UK Spot: Dr. Teeth performs "Cheese Cake" with a cheesecake and some Muppet Monsters. At the end of the song, they try to eat the cheesecake, but it escapes only to be chased by a diet-defying Miss Piggy.
222 crazy harry

222 animal autograph
Teresa Brewer shows Kermit the autographs of some of the people she's worked with including Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, Louis Armstrong and Crazy Harry. Crazy Harry returns to offer her another.

Kermit notices she's missing one of the Muppets' autographs -- the most important one, as Teresa points out. So, she asks him how she can get Animal's autograph.

Animal shows up, more than happy to give Teresa his autograph -- right on her forehead.

222 labs
Muppet Labs: Electric Nose Warmer

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew presents the all-new electric nose warmer. He tests it on Beaker (of course), who finds it to be too hot -- it causes his head to smoke!

Bunsen: "You really should stop smoking, Beaker. It's very bad for your health."

It turns out to be bad for Bunsen's health as well when Beaker grabs his arm, electrocuting Bunsen.

At the Hop
Scooter and some frogs sing "At the Hop." The frogs give up the number when they decide to go to the Hop.
222 weigh in
It has been twenty minutes since she started her diet, and Miss Piggy is hungry! She goes first to the mirror to see if she's lost "too much weight," then to the scale. The scale breaks when she weighs herself.
222 spinning wheel
Teresa tries to sing "Spinning Wheel" while being pushed on a swing by Sweetums. The song is interrupted three times for a punchline that usually causes Sweetums some harm.
222 work out
Miss Piggy decides to work out to a television program known as "The Chub Club" -- "The only T.V. show where we lose viewers by the ton!"

She touches her toes, does leg-lifts (in stilettos!) and jogs in place before fainting away.

Brewer02
Teresa sings "Music Music Music" as a result of Animal and Floyd putting nickels into the jukebox she stands atop.
222 closing
At the closing, Kermit calls for a big hand for Teresa Brewer. In return, Teresa calls for a big blue hand for Kermit.

Miss Piggy also "motivates" everyone onstage to exercise with her. "When the pig exercises, everybody exercises!"

Notes[]

  • Miss Piggy is dressed for Veterinarian's Hospital in one scene, possibly indicating that the Hospital segment shot for this episode was deleted and/or used in another one.

Cast[]

Muppets:

Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Gonzo, Scooter, Statler and Waldorf, Animal, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Beaker, Sweetums, Dr. Teeth, Floyd Pepper, Janice, Link Hogthrob, Dr. Julius Strangepork, Crazy Harry, Whatnots, Pigs, Frogs, Cheesecake

Background Muppets:

Blue Hand, Trumpet Girl, Zoot, Fozzie Bear, Frackles, Beautiful Day Monster, Miss Kitty

Performers[]

Jim Henson as Kermit the Frog, Link Hogthrob, Waldorf and Dr. Teeth
Frank Oz as Miss Piggy, Animal and Fozzie Bear
Jerry Nelson as Floyd Pepper, Dr. Julius Strangepork, Crazy Harry, Frog, Dancers and the Announcer
Richard Hunt as Scooter, Sweetums, Beaker, Statler and Pig Dancers
Dave Goelz as Gonzo, Zoot, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Swinetrek Crewmember and Dancers

Gallery[]

External links[]



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