Kermit
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Ladies and gentlemen, the Muppets are pleased and honored to turn over the rest of tonight's show to one of the world's most amazing performers. Here he is, in concert, what we've all been waiting for, ladies and gentlemen, Liberace!
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The curtain opens. Liberace bows, removes his cape and sits at the piano. He begins with an elaborate variation of "Chopsticks". He gets up and bows.
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Liberace
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Thank you. Thank you very much. I can't tell you how much fun it is doing this show.
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Waldorf
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Sure, it's fun doing the show!
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Statler
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Mm. Try watching the show and see how much fun it is!
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They chuckle.
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Liberace
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Hey, I've heard about you guys, and I'm not going to let you spoil things. I'm going to do something for the first time. I'm going to dedicate an entire concert to all the birds. I think you'll enjoy it.
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Statler
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If we do, that'll be another first. (laughs with Waldorf)
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Liberace
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Well, listen, you guys. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything.
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Waldorf
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Well, that's one way of keeping us quiet.
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Statler
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(laughs)
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Liberace
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Good. Oh, before I get started, I just want to explain. I know, perhaps, you'll be looking at my fingers and wondering if they're real.
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Cut to a close-up of his diamond-studded rings.
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Liberace
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They are real diamonds. … I'm glad you want to see them, because let's face it, you bought it. (laughs) You know what, there's enough karats here to feed all the rabbits in the world. (laughs)
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Waldorf
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Well, what do you think?
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Statler
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(looking through a lens) Yep, they're real, all right.
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Liberace
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(sits down) Well, without further ado, let's begin our special concert dedicated to all the birds.
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Green bird
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I can hardly wait.
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Liberace
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Thank you, little fella.
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He plays "Misty", as the set changes to a a foggy bay setting with seagulls flying around. This is followed by Chopin's "Nocturne in F Sharp", which is accompanied by a flock of bird dancers.
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Applause.
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Liberace
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Well, do you like what you've heard so far?
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Statler
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Yes!
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Waldorf
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You've spoiled a perfect record.
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Statler
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Mm!
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Liberace
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Well, I'm pleased you liked it so far.
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Sam the Eagle
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Mr. Liberace?
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Liberace
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Hello, Sam. How's everything?
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Sam the Eagle
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So far everything has been very cultural. And that worries me, sir.
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Liberace
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Well, I thought you liked culture.
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Sam the Eagle
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Mm.
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Liberace
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I played the Nocturne especially for you.
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Sam the Eagle
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Okay.
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Liberace
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I dedicated it to the birds.
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Sam the Eagle
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Yes, yes, yes. But! I know this show, and I have seen your work too, sir. Because you have now played Chopin, it follow,s as night follows day, that soon you will be wearing a rhinestone tuxedo, and playing shameless boogie-woogie.
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Liberace
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I promise you, Sam, I won't be doing that soon.
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Sam the Eagle
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No?
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Liberace
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I'm gonna do it right now.
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Sam facepalms and walks offstage as Liberace goes to town on the keys. He then sings as some Gawky birds take the stage.
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Liberace
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Eight foot two, eyes of blue,
But, what those eight feet can do!
Has anybody seen my bird?
Tall and bright, what a sight!
Feathered friends of such a height.
Has anybody seen my bird?
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Birds
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Now, if you run into an eight foot two,
Feathered and fine,
Lovely wings, all those things …
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Liberace
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Bet your life, that bird is mine!
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Birds
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Oh, could she bill, could she coo!
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Liberace
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Could she cock-a-doodle-do!
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Birds
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Has anybody seen my …
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Liberace
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… bird?
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Birds
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There he is! (cheering)
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The birds cheer as Fletcher does a Charleston.
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Liberace
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Take over, Rowlf.
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Rowlf
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Okay.
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Rowlf takes over as Liberace dances with Fletcher.
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Birds
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Oh, it's Liberace. Oh, look at that, he's dancing with you.
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Statler and Waldorf dance along. The birds from the ballot join the fun onstage.
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Birds
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Now, if you run into an eight foot two,
Feathered and fine,
Lovely wings, all those things …
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Liberace
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Bet your life, that bird is mine!
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Birds
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Oh, could she bill, could she coo!
Could she cock-a-doodle-do!
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Liberace & birds
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Has anybody seen my …
Bet your life she's been by…
Has anybody seen my bird?
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Applause.
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