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Piggy frantically wheels the medical trolley towards the operating table.
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Announcer
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Time once again for Veterinarian's Hospital, the continuing stoooory of a quack who's gone to the dogs.
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Rowlf
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Well, Nurse Janice, who's the next patient?
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Janice
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Well, see for yourself, Dr. Bob.
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He lifts the sheet and reveals the patient — Kermit.
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Miss Piggy
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(gasp) Oh! Oh, it's Kermit! My Kermie! Oh! Oh!
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Kermit
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Uh, take it easy, I'm okay.
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Miss Piggy
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(mutters) Quiet. This is a very dramatic moment. (resumes her hysterics) Oh! Oh! Oh! Kermie! I shall nurse you back to health, if it takes a lifetime! Oh!
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Janice
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What do you think's wrong with him, Dr. Bob?
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Rowlf
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Well, for one thing, he's been badly exposed to over-acting. (laughs) Either that, or overexposed to bad acting. (laughs)
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Janice
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Aw, rully.
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Miss Piggy
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I am not acting. I love him!
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Rowlf
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Uh, Nurse Piggy, you cannot let your personal feelings affect your duty. You are a nurse.
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Miss Piggy
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I may be a nurse, but I'm a woman first.
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Rowlf
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Wrong. You're a pig first! Nurse second. I don't think "woman" made the top ten.
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He and Janice laugh.
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Miss Piggy
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(annoyed) Dr. Bob…
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Rowlf
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Oh, he's alright, he's alright. He just looks like he was under heavy sedation.
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Janice
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Well, he was under heavy sedation. A fifty-pound box of sleeping pills fell on his head.
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Rowlf and Janice laugh.
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Kermit
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It did not!
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Janice
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I know, but it's my only joke.
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Rowlf
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(laughs)
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Miss Piggy
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Oh! My poor, poor Kermie. Aww.
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Rowlf
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Well, he's still breathing, but I think his pulse is weak.
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Miss Piggy
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Oh — Kermie! Kermie, can you hear me? This is Nurse Piggy! I will never leave your side till you have taken your last breath! Do you think he heard me?
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Rowlf
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He must have. His pulse has stopped. (laughs)
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Janice
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(groans)
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Miss Piggy
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If anything happens to him, you will have me to account to!
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Rowlf
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Good! I was wondering who was gonna pay his bill. (laughs)
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Announcer
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And so we come to the end of another Veterinarian's Hospital. Tune in next week, when you'll hear Kermit say …
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Kermit
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Let me outta here! I wanna get outta here!
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Miss Piggy
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No, no, Kermie, no, no, don't — no. Stay here, where it's safe.
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The light fixture falls on her.
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Rowlf
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(laughs)
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Janice
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Oh, rully. Rully.
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Statler
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Did you see that?
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Waldorf
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Yes, the frog is certainly taking a beating on this show.
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Statler
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Yeah. It's hard to feel sorry for him. We take a beating every show!
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They chuckle.
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