Episode 424: Diana Ross

The Muppet Show
Guest	Diana Ross
Production	February 18-22, 1980
Premiere	UK: April 4, 1980 NYC: May 15, 1980
Releases	Best of the Muppet Show
(TRANSCRIPT)

Statler and Waldorf rate the show like Olympic judges. First, they give Kermit a 2. Then, they give the opening a 3, but the audience demands they bring it down to a zero. All of the Muppets get low scores (though Fozzie's "1" is a compliment by them), and Gonzo even gets a -6. The Muppets think it's just a tough audience, but Diana gets tens every time which gives her high scores.

Songs/Sketches

• "I Go to Rio"
• "Love Hangover"
• "Aunty Chovy"
• Pigs in Space: Gas Lighter
• UK Spot: "Feelings"
• "Last Time I Saw Him"
• "Reach Out and Touch"

Episode

Picture	Description
	Cold Open: Scooter has brought guest star Diana Ross a gift, because Kermit said that wherever she goes, she has a big fan club.
	"The Muppet Show Theme": Zoot charms a snake during the theme. Gonzo finds the same snake hanging out of his trumpet.
	During Kermit's introduction, Statler and Waldorf announce that they will be keeping score throughout the show. So far, the Muppets have a score of 2.
	Eric the Parrot leads a group of small animals in singing "I Go to Rio." At the end of the number, Statler gives it a rating of 3, but the audience persuades them to lower it to a zero.
	Backstage, the animals complain about the poor response to their song. One of the penguins even rented a tuxedo for the occasion (he's really a flamingo). Despite this, Fozzie Bear knows just what the audience needs: comedy!
	Fozzie's Comedy Acts: Fozzie gives the shortest performance of his career, being booed offstage before his first joke. The performance gets a rating of 1, and as Waldorf says, "He's never been better!"
	Diana Ross sings "Love Hangover" as she dances with Fletcher Bird. She receives a perfect 10 score from Statler and Waldorf, who announce that the score is "Diana Ross: 10, Muppets: 3!"
	Diana comes backstage to thank Fozzie for warming up the "terrific" audience for her. She then says of the audience, "When they love you, they don't hold back." Fozzie adds to that comment, "When they hate you they don't hold back either."
	The Gills Brothers sing "Aunty Chovy." The audience's response is not a pretty one.
	When the Gills Brothers return backstage, they are nothing but skeletons in suits. When asked what happened, they explain that "they were laying for us!" One audience member even brought with him a bottle of tartar sauce.
	Kermit stops by Diana's dressing room to discuss the problems they're having with the show. She tries to comfort him, suggesting he sends on one of the Muppets' "sure-fire acts." However, any idea they come up with, Kermit thinks would be a mistake, until they finally decide on...
	Pigs in Space: The scientific genius, Dr. Julius Strangepork, must fix the lighter of Captain Link Hogthrob! When First Mate Miss Piggy arrives to assist in this difficult operation, she is met with the hissing of an angry audience, and so leaves the stage. The hissing turns out to be, not from the audience, but from a gas leak in Link's lighter. Strangepork accidentally drops the lighter by a tank of nitroglycerin, in a darker area of the bridge, so Link lights a match to try and find it. The bridge explodes.
	UK Spot: Beaker sings "Feelings," which he renders as "Mee-Mee." The audience boos Beaker, but Animal is there to quiet them down.
	Diana sings "Last Time I Saw Him," starting out backstage with just Floyd Pepper and Dr. Teeth, eventually moving the performance onstage with the rest of The Electric Mayhem.
	When Kermit asks for an act to follow Diana Ross, everybody hides. Everyone except The Great Gonzo, of course. Gonzo has prepared an act which can only be described as indescribable. Kermit agrees to it. "Why not?"
	The curtain opens for Gonzo, onstage with a swinging rubber tire, a flaming torch, and a cow (she replaced the typewriter). The act goes no further and he is pelted with vegetables. He receives a -6 from Waldorf.
	Backstage, Gonzo reveals he was only afflicted with a few tomato burns and cabbage cuts. The only solution, Kermit believes, is to get Diana back onstage.
	Before she sings her last song, Diana asks for Fozzie to join her onstage and relate the joke he told her earlier. Fozzie refuses, afraid to do so, knowing that the audience will boo him off. Diana agrees to do the joke for him, and she's a hit! She then sings "Reach Out and Touch" to Fozzie and the Muppets.
	After hearing Diana's success when she told a joke, Fozzie is full of confidence to tell another! It doesn't work.
	After the credits, Statler and Waldorf are no longer keeping score. Instead, they're keeping "snore."

Edits

Nickelodeon: The Gills Brothers act was cut.

Trivia

• As the final episode of the fourth season, this is the final episode with several notables, including the arrangement of The Muppet Show Theme used since season 2 (slight adjustments are made for the next season) as well as the last time Scooter is used in the Cold Opening with the guest star. (new character Pops will take over this function for the final season)

Cast

Muppets:

Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, Scooter, Miss Piggy, Statler and Waldorf, Gonzo, The Gills Brothers, Floyd Pepper, Animal, Link Hogthrob, Dr. Julius Strangepork, Beaker, Beauregard, Female Singers, Penguins, Parrots, Lizards, Eric the Parrot, Alfonso D'Bruzzo, Fletcher Bird

Background Muppets:

Lenny the Lizard, Quongo, Rizzo the Rat, Annie Sue, Rowlf, Dr. Teeth, Janice, Zoot, Zeke, Bobby Benson, a Bossman, Gawky Birds, Shark, Robin the Frog, Whatnots

Audience Muppets:

Beautiful Day Monster, Zelda Rose, Brewster, Gramps

Performers

Jim Henson as Kermit the Frog, Link Hogthrob, Waldorf and Gills Brother

Frank Oz as Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy and Animal

Jerry Nelson as Floyd Pepper, Dr. Julius Strangepork, Eric the Parrot and Gills Brother

Richard Hunt as Scooter, Beaker, Statler, a Lizard and Gills Brother

Dave Goelz as Gonzo and Beauregard

Steve Whitmire as Rizzo the Rat, Female Singer and a Penguin

Louise Gold as Alfonso D'Bruzzo and Female Singer

Kathy Mullen as Female Singer

Gallery

External Links

• Jim Henson's Red Book -- 2/18/1980 -- Diana Ross (MS) (this finished season IV)

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