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Fozzie follows the weasel backstage.
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Fozzie
|
You dumb weasel. It wasn't even five o'clock!
|
Kermit
|
Oh, Beauregard!
|
Beauregard
|
Yes?
|
Kermit
|
Did you take care of those rats?
|
Beauregard
|
Yup. I just brought their chicken dinners in.
|
Kermit
|
(flustered) Beauregard, I want them out of this theater!
|
Beauregard
|
But I can't do that! They're my people!
|
Kermit
|
I don't care whose people they are!
|
Beauregard
|
They made me president!
|
Kermit
|
Beauregard, they make me angry!
|
Beauregard
|
Let my people stay!
|
Kermit
|
Beauregard, they are rats! They are rats, Beauregard! Now listen, you're going to have to choose. Either they go …
|
Beauregard
|
But they're my friends!
|
Kermit
|
… or you're going to go with them!
|
|
|
Beauregard
|
(gasp) … Goodbye.
|
|
He sniffles as he walks away.
|
Fozzie
|
Poor Beau.
|
Kermit
|
It was a command decision. The buck stops here!
|
Fozzie
|
You're right. You gotta be tough!
|
Kermit
|
(nervous) Was I too tough on him?
|
Fozzie
|
(puts his arm around Kermit) I don't know.
|
|
In Beau's storage room, Piggy is about to open the fridge, when Beau comes in, crying.
|
Miss Piggy
|
Aah! Oh … Beau, I thought you were a rat.
|
Beauregard
|
(starts packing a suitcase) I'm not just any rat. I'm their president.
|
Miss Piggy
|
Beau … that's my photo.
|
Beauregard
|
I know. I'm taking it with me … when I leave… (begins sobbing on Piggy's shoulder)
|
Miss Piggy
|
Beau? Beau?
|
Beauregard
|
Oh, the only friends I have are you and the rats!
|
Miss Piggy
|
(to viewer) Terrific.
|
|
Beau blows his nose.
|
Miss Piggy
|
Beau, Beau, dear, look at me. Beau?
|
Beauregard
|
What?
|
Miss Piggy
|
The rats are not your friends.
|
Beauregard
|
Not my friends?
|
Miss Piggy
|
No, Beau, Beau, they made you president so they could get food.
|
Beauregard
|
What?
|
Miss Piggy
|
Yes.
|
Beauregard
|
Wait'll I see those lousy rats!
|
Miss Piggy
|
That's it, Beau! Where are they?
|
Beauregard
|
Where else?
|
|
He opens the fridge, which is full of rats eating cheese.
|
Beauregard
|
All right, everybody out!
|
Miss Piggy
|
That's right, this is — this is not a restaurant! It is a theater!
|
Beauregard
|
Theater!
|
Miss Piggy
|
Yes, we entertain here! We spread happiness!
|
Beauregard
|
Happiness!
|
|
|
Rizzo
|
Well, after you entertain and spread happiness, do you get to eat?
|
Beauregard
|
Well, I guess so.
|
Rizzo
|
You got it! Come on, guys!
|
Miss Piggy
|
Where are they going, Beau?
|
Beauregard
|
I don't know. I quit my job as president.
|
|
Meanwhile, Fozzie looks over the schedule with Kermit and Scooter.
|
Fozzie
|
Ah — final number!
|
Kermit
|
Uh, right. (through the intercom) Uh, final number! Everybody on stage for the final number please!
|
|
The rats approach Kermit.
|
Rizzo
|
Mr. Kermit!
|
Kermit
|
Hm?
|
Rizzo
|
Oh, please, Mr. Kermit! We're sorry we haven't done our share of entertaining and spreading happiness.
|
Rats
|
Yeah.
|
Rat (RH)
|
Yeah. Please let us join your family of artistes.
|
Rats
|
Artistes! Yeah!
|
Rat (JN)
|
Yeah, please, oh, we could spread happiness to beat the band!
|
Rat (RH)
|
Yeah, beat the band.
|
Kermit
|
Well …
|
Rats
|
(begging) Oh please! Please! Please! Come on!
|
|
Joan comes out of her dressing room.
|
Joan
|
Kermit? What's all the excitement?
|
Kermit
|
Uh, well, the, the rats here want to join our happy little family, y'see.
|
Rats
|
(random) Yeah! Please, Joan?
|
|
|
Joan
|
Well, you've got cows, pigs, you've got chickens. Why not rats?
|
Kermit
|
Well — okay, guys, you're in.
|
|
The rats cheer.
|
Joan
|
There's a tie that binds all creatures,
That is like a silver strand.
And it crosses every ocean,
And it reaches every land.
|
|
Kermit and the rats join in.
|
Joan, Kermit, Rats
|
Will the circle be unbroken,
By and by, Lord, by and by.
There's a better life awaiting,
If we try, Lord, if we try.
|
|
|
|
The scene shifts to a celestial setting, with the cast joining arms in circles around Joan.
|
Joan
|
And the circle will be endless
As we travel hand in hand.
We'll become one family circle,
In a peaceful promised land.
|
Joan & cast
|
Will the circle be unbroken,
By and by, Lord, by and by.
There's a better life awaiting,
If we try, Lord, if we try.
Will the circle be unbroken,
By and by, Lord, by and by.
There's a better life awaiting,
If we try, Lord, if we try.
If we try, Lord, if we try.
|
|
Applause.
|