Episode 504: Shirley Bassey

{{episodetms|image=Bassey02.jpg|star=[[Shirley Bassey]]|production=March 24-27, [[1980]]|airdate=UK: March 15, 1981<br>NYC: October 4, 1980|video=}}

[[Kermit the Frog|Kermit]] borrows fifty million dollars worth of gold for [[Shirley Bassey|Shirley's]] closing number, "[[James Bond|Goldfinger]]". Security guard [[Bruno (security guard)|Bruno]] is suspicious that Kermit wants to steal the gold, but keeping an eye on the frog makes him overlook both [[Dr. Bunsen Honeydew|Bunsen Honeydew]] (who turns one bar into cottage cheese) and ultimately a band of [[Pigs|pig]] thieves, who steal all the gold as Shirley sings.

==Songs/Sketches==
* [[Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem|The Electric Mayhem]] performs "[[Barnyard Boogie]]".
* Shirley sings "[[Fire Down Below]]".
* [[Muppet Labs]]: [[Muppet Labs#504|Alchemy Machine]]
* [[The Fazoobs]] perform "[[Isn't This a Lovely Day]]".
* [[UK Spots (The Muppet Show)|UK Spot]]: The orchestra plays "[[After You've Gone]]".
* Shirley sings "[[Pennies From Heaven]]".
* [[Muppet News Flash]]: Gold Security Guard
* [[Gonzo]] conducts "[[Liebesträume]]".
* Shirley sings "[[Goldfinger]]".

==Episode==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=8 valign=top
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Picture !! Description

|-
| [[File:TMS504-01.jpg|250px|center]]
| [[Cold Open]]: Shirley is greeted in [[reception]] by [[Pops]] who is grooming a rodent. He says that since she's doing the show tonight, she can brush his [[rat]] (they all pitch in around here). "Oh good," she says, "then you can comb my [[crocodile]]."

|-
| [[File:TMS504-02.jpg|250px|center]]
| "[[The Muppet Show Theme]]": When [[Gonzo]] blows [[Gonzo's Muppet Show Openings|his trumpet]], it crows like a rooster.

|-
| [[File:Em bboogie.jpg|250px|center]]
| [[Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem]] (including [[Lips]]) perform "[[Barnyard Boogie]]" outside a farmhouse with [[Gaffer]], [[Rizzo the Rat|Rizzo]], a [[Pigs|pig]], [[sheep]], [[Cows|cow]], [[T.R.|rooster]], [[chickens]], and {{medialink|filename=Gaffer_and_Dog_TMS504.jpg|text=an unnamed dog}}. At the end, [[Statler and Waldorf]] add their own lyrics: "Boo! Boo! Say the men in the [[Statler and Waldorf's Box|theatre box]], don't boogie in the barnyard!"

|-
| [[File:TMS504-03.jpg|250px|center]]
| [[Backstage]], [[Scooter]] informs Kermit that they don't have any gold paint for Shirley Bassey's closing number. Meanwhile, a pair of [[Dancing Sacks]] garner a flood of boos from the audience, so Kermit tells [[Fozzie Bear|Fozzie]] to sack the sacks.

|-
| [[File:Firedownbelow.jpg|250px|center]]
| Shirley sings "[[Fire Down Below]]" in a gold foundry inhabited by [[Timmy Monster]] and a workforce of [[Whatnots]]. Statler thanks Waldorf for saying that it was a great number. He didn't write "Fire Down Below" but the guy who did had [[Toilet humor|just had a bowl of his chili]].

|-
| [[File:TMS504-04.jpg|250px|center]]
| While out buying gold paint, Scooter bumped into a security guard named [[Bruno (security guard)|Bruno]]. He's a big fan of Shirley Bassey's, so he's going to let ''The Muppet Show'' borrow $50 million worth of gold bars for her closing number. While Bruno scrutinizes Kermit, [[Beaker]] sneaks in from behind and takes off with a gold bar. 

|-
| [[File:Labs.alchemist.jpg|250px|center]]
| In [[Muppet Labs]], [[Dr. Bunsen Honeydew]] reveals an alchemy machine that can turn gold into cottage cheese. Beaker loads up the machine with the newly acquired gold bar just as Bruno tracks him down. Once the conversion is complete, Bruno sinks his hands into a bar of cottage cheese and chases after Beaker.

|-
| [[File:TMS504-05.jpg|250px|center]]
| Scooter brings Shirley a bowl of cottage cheese in [[Guest Star's Dressing Room|her dressing room]], as she enjoys a light snack in between numbers. When she pulls out the spoon, however, she finds that it's not light after all -- it's solid gold.

|-
| [[File:Lovely day.jpg|250px|center]]
| Two [[Fazoobs]] from [[Planet Koozebane]] perform "[[Isn't This a Lovely Day]]". The Trumpet Fazoob plays while another shoots balls into the air, each of which appear to explode. The last descends, having gained mass, and falls on the trumpeter's head.

|-
| [[File:Orchestrapit.jpg|250px|center]]
| For the [[UK Spots (The Muppet Show)|UK Spot]], the [[Muppet Orchestra]] plays "[[After You've Gone]]" with [[Nigel (Muppet Show)|Nigel]] conducting [[Floyd Pepper|Floyd]], [[Zoot]], [[Janice]] (on banjo), [[Animal]], [[Rowlf the Dog|Rowlf]], [[Lips]], and the [[Trumpet Girl]] (on trombone) in the [[Orchestra Pit|orchestra pit]].

|-
| [[File:PenniesFromHeaven.jpg|250px|center]]
| In her dressing room, Fozzie tells Shirley that it's driving him crazy to know how much money is hanging around in the theatre and explains he could use it to buy a lot of jokes from his writer, [[Gags Beasley]]. Shirley explains to him that there are many more things in life than money, and sings "[[Pennies From Heaven]]". When she gets to the chorus, coins begin to fall from the ceiling. They're eventually joined by [[T.R.]], [[Lew Zealand]], [[Dr. Teeth]], [[Rizzo the Rat|Rizzo]], [[Beaker]], and [[Gonzo]]. By the end, they're all catching change as it falls.

|-
| [[File:TMS504-06.jpg|250px|center]]
| [[The Newsman]] delivers a [[Muppet News Flash]] accompanied by the gold bars with Bruno close behind. The report states that dire consequences will befall anyone who lays a finger on the gold. As he demonstrates, Bruno flips him into the air and the Newsman yells for a doctor. The doctor checks out the gold and says they'll be all right, "but stay with 'em."

|-
| [[File:Liebestraume.jpg|250px|center]]
| Gonzo conducts [[Rowlf at the piano]] and a Whatnot violinist playing "[[Liebesträume]]", whilst he duels [[Buster (crab)|Buster]] the crab. Impressed by his own feat, Gonzo shouts for someone to get the Guinness Book of Records on the phone. The violinist eventually joins, but Rowlf finally stops the battle, citing that it's too violent for a family show.

|-
| [[File:SB Goldfinger.jpg|250px|center]]
| Shirley Bassey sings "[[Goldfinger]]" in a bank vault, sprawled across the loaned bars of gold. As she sings, [[Link Hogthrob]] (playing Goldfinger, his finger dipped in gold) and his squad of pig thieves enter the vault and steal every bar without her noticing. Bruno enters the stage, finds Shirley alone without the gold, and arrests her.

|-
| [[File:TMS504-07.jpg|250px|center]]
| Cuffed to Shirley, Bruno apologizes to Kermit for accusing him of stealing the gold. When the finger is pointed at her, Shirley blames Kermit for staging the whole thing.

|}

==Edits==
* [[Nickelodeon]]: Gonzo's act was cut.

==Cast==
'''Muppets:'''
:[[Kermit the Frog]], [[Scooter]], [[Bruno (security guard)|Bruno]], [[Dr. Bunsen Honeydew]], [[Beaker]], [[Pops]], [[Fozzie Bear]], [[Dr. Teeth]], [[Floyd Pepper]], [[Animal]], [[Janice]], [[Zoot]], [[Lips]], [[Whatnots]], [[The Newsman]], [[Statler and Waldorf]], [[Gonzo]], [[Buster (crab)|Buster]], [[The Dancing Sacks]], [[The Fazoobs|Cute and Cannon]], [[Rowlf the Dog|Rowlf]], [[Link Hogthrob]], [[Pigs]], [[Trumpet Girl]], [[Rats|Rat]], [[Crocodiles|Crocodile]]

'''Background Muppets:'''
:[[Timmy Monster]], [[T.R. the Rooster]], [[Lew Zealand]], [[Cows|Cow]], [[Sheep]], [[Chickens]], [[Gaffer]], [[Brown Dog]], [[Chick]], [[Nigel (Muppet Show)|Nigel]]

==Performers==
:[[Jim Henson]] as Kermit the Frog, Rowlf, Dr. Teeth, the Newsman and Waldorf
:[[Frank Oz]] as Fozzie Bear and Animal
:[[Jerry Nelson]] as Bruno, Floyd Pepper, Violinist and Pops
:[[Richard Hunt]] as Scooter, Beaker, Janice, Statler, Cow
:[[Dave Goelz]] as Gonzo, Zoot, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Sheep,  and Doctor
:[[Steve Whitmire]] as Lips and Dancing Sack
:[[Kathryn Mullen|Kathy Mullen]] as Gaffer
:[[Louise Gold]] as Dancing Sack
:[[Betsy Baytos]] as Timmy Monster and Pig

==Gallery==
<gallery orientation=square widths=200 spacing=small>
Image:Shirley_Bassey.jpeg
Image:Bassey01.jpg
Image:Bassey04.jpg
Image:Bassey03.jpg
Image:Bassey05.jpg
Image:Bassey06.jpg
Image:Shirleybassey.jpg
Image:Bassey07.jpg
</gallery>

==External Links==
*[http://www.henson.com/jimsredbook/2013/03/3241980/ Jim's Red Book - 3/24/1980 - Shirley Bassey (TMS)]

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