Thank you, thank you, hi-ho, and welcome again to The Muppet Show.
Behind him, a workman handles a rope.
Uh, you may notice some workmen around, and that's because we're having our leaky roof fixed. Uh, but they won't interfere with the show.
The workman is pulled up by the rope.
Um … anyhow, it's going to be a wonderful show because our guest star is the dynamic Gladys Knight! Yes! But first...
A bucket of nails on a rope falls from the ceiling and hangs beside him.
Will you get this bucket of nails out of here?? (the bucket is raised) But first, this …
A trio of Whatnot archaeologists enter an Egyptian tomb singing "Night and Day". Inside, they are greeted by three sarcophagi, who join them in song. The caskets open to reveal three mummies, one of whom is Gonzo wrapped in bandages, and whisper some of the tune, inhaling incense.
Look at them. I think they're glad to see us.
When you've been stood up for 4000 years, you're glad to see anybody.
The nine of them join to finish the song together.
Well, those mummies didn't exactly bring the house down.
Some rubble falls near them.
No, the roofers are handling that.
Uh, are you the frog?
Uh, of course I'm the frog. Uh, what's that piece of wood?
Oh, well it's not just any old piece of wood. This is the piece of wood that holds up the roof. It's rotten.
Uh, wait a second. If that's the piece that holds up the roof, what's holding up the roof?
He's holding the roof up?
Yes. Or, rather, no.
He falls from the roof. Some rubble comes down with him.
Uh, listen, guys. I've got to go introduce Gladys Knight. Uh, can you get this fixed?
Not me, there's something about heights I don't like.
Uh, what's that?
Falling from them. (coughs)
Kermit rushes on-stage.
Okay, well folks, it's time now to meet our very special guest. So, here she is putting the show on the right track and choo-choo'ing into your station, let's say "all aboard" as we stop, look, and listen to Miss Gladys Knight, yaaay!
He throws another knife. WHAP! It hits the staircase. Fozzie runs away screaming. Just then, the wind starts blowing all the papers away, as well as the fog.
Oh, boy. There goes the running order. Now, how do I know which act is next?
When in doubt, go with a star.
Uh, you're right. Uh, go tell Gladys she's on next, okay?
They both go their separate ways. Baffi is blown away by the wind.
"I Heard It Through the Grapevine"
Uh, uh, uh, well ladies and gentlemen, I think the wind is about to die down here. Um, here she is with one of her greatest hits, a lady who can sing up a storm and may have to sing in one, Miss Gladys Knight, yaay!
For the closing number, Gladys sings "I Heard It Through the Grapevine" with some backup grape singers, and Zoot on sax. By the end of the number, it's snowing so profusely, that a snow bank builds up on stage around Gladys as she's singing.
Uh, well, it looks like everything's come down except the curtain. But before we go, let us bring back our wonderful guest star. Ladies and gentlemen, Gladys Knight, yaaay!
Gladys re-emerges, dressed in a mink coat.
Thanks, Kermit, it's been an evening I'll never forget.
Oh, well, that's too bad. I was hoping you would. Uh, listen, I'm sorry about this roof business.
Oh, that's okay. I'm dressed for it. But what about you? Aren't you cold?
Uh, no, I'm actually wearing my thermal collar.
The grapes groan.
Uh, but they don't look too happy out there in the vineyard.
Oh, they're just sour grapes.
We'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!
The other Muppets gather around as the credits roll. Meanwhile, the snow has reached the balcony. Statler and Waldorf have their winter clothes on.
We'll get pneumonia!
Big deal. This show always makes us sick!
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