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The curtain opens, revealing Roger and Piggy in a fancy penthouse setting.
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Miss Piggy
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Oh. Come sit, Roger.
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Roger sits next to Piggy on the couch, setting two champagne glasses on the table.
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Miss Piggy
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Oh. Roger, I'm so glad you asked me up here.
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Roger
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Well, actually, I didn't ask you.
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Miss Piggy
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Oh. Well, heh, Roger, mon amour, you know we are meant to be, vous et moi.
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Roger
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Vous et moi? Nous?
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Miss Piggy
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Who?
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Roger
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"We".
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Miss Piggy
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Oh, oui, oui, oui, oui.
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Roger
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What are you trying to say, Miss Piggy?
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She gets close to him as she sings.
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Miss Piggy
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Oh — I'd love to get you, Roger, On a slow boat to China, All to myself … alone…
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Roger
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I can't believe that she's singing to me.
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Miss Piggy
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(stands up) Get you and keep you in my arms evermore …
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Roger
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Look, look, Piggy, I must be honest, I have a date!
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Miss Piggy
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Leave all your ladies Weeping on the faraway shore!
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Roger
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Yes, but what about Kermit? He's your true love.
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Miss Piggy
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Out on the briny, oh Roger, Where the moon's big and shiny!
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Roger
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I'm not green. I don't have flippers.
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Miss Piggy
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Melting your heart of stone …
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Roger
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Just look, my eyes don't bulge, I don't eat flies — I'm not your type!
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Miss Piggy
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Oh! I'd like to take you On a slow boat to China…
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Roger
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Piggy, you are wrinkling the lapels.
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Miss Piggy
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All to myself, haha, alone!
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Roger
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Please, you really must stop.
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Miss Piggy
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Oh, Roger, I know what you're thinking!
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Roger
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I doubt that.
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Miss Piggy
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Yes, you are thinking that you are a man and … I am a pig.
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Roger
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Why would I think that?
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Miss Piggy
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Oh, Roger! Silly, dear, dear Roger, it can work! Roger — we can make it work!! Yes!
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Roger
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But I don't want to make it work!
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Miss Piggy
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(throws herself upon him again) OH!! I'd love to get you On a ssssssslow boat to China…
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Roger
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Not even Concorde.
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Miss Piggy
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All to myself, Aloooooooooone …
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Roger
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Piggy, my date'll be here any second …
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Miss Piggy
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Oh Roger — All to myself! A! LOOOOOOOOONE!!
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She starts showering him with kisses.
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Miss Piggy
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Oh Roger! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
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Roger
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Miss Piggy! Piggy! You'll ruin your date —
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The song ends; the doorbell rings. Annie Sue enters.
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Annie Sue
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Roger, I'm here!
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Roger walks over to her.
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Roger
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Annie Sue, how lovely you look.
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Annie Sue
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(swoons)
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Miss Piggy
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This is your date?
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Roger
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Yes, we're going to the opening of Hamlet. Put off the lights, will you?
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Roger and Annie Sue exit. Piggy walks over to Roger's picture on the table, and gives it a karate chop.
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Miss Piggy
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Hi-YAH!
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Waldorf
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Quite a touching scene. Oh-oh-seven and seven-oh-oh. (chuckles)
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Statler
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Seven-oh-oh? (Waldorf nods) Is that Miss Piggy's code name?
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Waldorf
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No, it's her weight!
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They chuckle.
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Statler
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Her weight!
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