|Picture||Summary / First Appearance||Description|
| || Ernie in the Bathtub / Everybody Wash |
| Part 1: Ernie calls his bathtub "Rosie" because whenever he takes a bath, he leaves a "ring around Rosie." Bert waits for his bath. Written by David Connell
Part 2: Ernie remarks that everyone should take a bath, and sings "Everybody Wash."
| || Ernie tries to draw a 3|
| Part 1: Ernie draws a llama, but Bert says it doesn't look anything like a llama. Ernie asks a filmed llama for input, but the llama doesn't like it either. So Ernie decides to draw a 3 instead, but he can't remember what a 3 looks like. Ernie and Bert watch the "Jazz #3" film.
Part 2: Ernie draws what looks like a squiggle, so Bert recommends that he watch the "Jazz #3" film again.
Part 3: Ernie finishes his drawing. Bert asks, "You call that a three?" Ernie answers, "No, I call that a tree!"
| || Ernie blows a fuse |
| Ernie and Bert are watching TV, but Bert gets bored and decides to play a record. Ernie tells him to turn down the volume, but Bert won't, so Ernie drowns out Bert's music by playing the radio. Bert then retaliates by turning on the blender. With all four things running at once, they blow a fuse, causing a total blackout. Bert goes to fix the fuse, while Ernie turns off all the things that were running. When the lights go back on, Ernie and Bert apologize and play cards.
| Bert's egg |
|Ernie finds an egg on the counter. Bert asks him to put it away so he can eat it later. Ernie doesn't understand why. Bert sighs, "Drop it!" - and Ernie does, literally.|
| Bert and the banana phone |
| Bert hears the phone ringing inside a basket and asks Ernie to answer it. Ernie goes through the basket and finds a banana. He pretends it's a phone and gives it to Bert to talk on. Ernie answers the real phone and tells the caller that Bert can't come to the phone because he's talking on the banana. |
This sketch was re-adapted in 2000.
| || The Mysterious Nose-Snatcher |
|Bert says that he and Ernie are looking at the "Mysterious Nose-Snatcher." Ernie, disagreeing, walks closer and closer to the camera to see. His face begins to black out the screen...but when he moves back into view, his nose is missing!|
| Kiss from a Monster |
|Ernie laughs when Alice Braithwaite Goodyshoes says, "Bleah!" after being kissed by a monster. Bert says that Ernie would react the same way if he was kissed by a monster. "No, I wouldn't. I'd think it was funny!" says Ernie. Then Beautiful Day Monster shows up and kisses Ernie, who says, "Bleah!" Bert laughs, saying, "Now, that's funny!"|
| Ernie's A Machine |
|Ernie invents a machine that makes As -- you turn the crank "over here," you push the button on top, and out comes an A. But it doesn't work when it rains -- it only makes As when the sun shines.|
| || Bert explains the number 4 |
| Bert has a number 4 in his hand, and asks Ernie what it is. Ernie doesn't know and guesses that it's a chocolate cream pie. Bert decides to cut to a film about the number 4 so that Ernie can get a clue. When the clip is over, Ernie makes another guess: a banana cream pie. "If this 4 is a banana cream pie, then what is this?" asks Bert, while he pulls out a banana cream pie. "That's a 4!" Ernie grins, and Bert pushes the pie in Ernie's face. "I knew what it was all along," Ernie remarks to the camera, "but who wants to get hit in the face with a 4?"
| Broken "A" TV|
|Ernie complains when a big letter A appears on the TV screen, so Bert turns off the set, unplugs it, and Ernie takes a bunch of A objects out of the TV, including an acorn, apricots, an apron, an ape, and finally a letter A. When Bert plugs it back in, a big letter B appears on the screen.|
| Letter X|
|Ernie asks Bert what his favorite letter is. Bert doesn't have one, so Ernie displays his favorite: the letter X. Ernie says it's also delicious because every morning he eats bacon and X.|
| Bert Explains "Before" and "After." |
| Ernie wants to have some cookies, which are on a covered plate. Bert asks Ernie if he knows the difference between "before" and "after." Ernie isn't sure. Bert explains that before Ernie can have the cookies, he has to lift the cover, and after he lifts the cover, he can have the cookies. Ernie tries this a few times - until he loses his appetite for dinner.
| || Ernie's X Problem / Bacon and X / Ernie Erases Cookie Monster |
| Part 1: Ernie is having trouble remembering how to draw the letter X on his blackboard. While crossing things out and playing tic-tac-toe, he unknowingly draws 5 Xs, which Bert then points out to him.
Part 2: Ernie has made an X of his own, and is proudly displaying it. Bert rushes in to say that he was making some bacon, but a monster ate it. Then, Cookie Monster (still unnamed) sneaks in, and eats Ernie's X. Ernie catches him, and asks, "Why do you do that, Monster?" Cookie Monster answers, "I always like to eat bacon and X!"
Part 3: While Ernie erases his blackboard, we see a cartoon of a boy erasing things and people as he counts to 10.
Part 4: Cookie Monster shows up again. Ernie threatens to erase him if he doesn't leave and shows him the cartoon of the boy.
Part 5: Cookie Monster laughs, and refuses to leave, so Ernie erases him.
| Football Chant|
|Ernie, dressed in his football uniform, marches around the apartment reciting his team chant. He tells Bert he's a member of the Dirty Rugs, named such because everyone beats them.|
| Ernie's alphabet story |
| Ernie writes a dramatic story, which is actually the alphabet.|
This sketch was later remade in the 1970s.
| Ernie's "How Many?" Quiz |
|Ernie's friend holds a huge card of a dog in front of his head. Ernie asks Bert how many feet the dog has, and Bert says four. Next, Ernie's friend holds up a card of a table. Ernie asks Bert how many legs the table has. Again, Bert says four. Ernie's friend then holds up a card that shows a four-eyed monster. Ernie asks Bert, "How many eyes can you count on this face?" Bert again says four, but adds that "nothing in the world has four eyes, and looks like that." Ernie's friend lowers the card, revealing himself to be the Beautiful Day Monster - with two extra eyes.|
| || Ernie Cleans Up |
| Part 1: Bert tells Ernie to clean up the messy apartment.|
Part 2: Ernie has almost finished cleaning up the apartment. His toybox is still a mess, so he begins to clean it out, throwing its contents all over the room.
| Dog Paws|
|Bert overhears Ernie drawing a picture of a dog with five legs. Bert thinks the fifth leg is a tail because the other four legs have paws. Bert asks about the fifth leg, "Where's its paw?" Ernie replies, "It's gone shopping with its maw."|
| Swiss Cheese |
|Ernie doesn't want to eat Swiss cheese because it has holes in it, but Bert tells Ernie that holes make Swiss cheese taste better than the regular kind. Ernie says that he'll eat the cheese and that Bert can eat the holes.|
| Milk and cookie |
|Ernie is preparing to have a snack, but he discovers that his milk and cookie keep vanishing. He eventually catches Cookie Monster after hiding to watch what's been going on when he leaves. Written by Jeff Moss.|
| || Everybody Scratch |
|Ernie and Bert have difficulty scratching their backs, so both help each other scratch their back. While Ernie's itch takes a little too long to scratch, he introduces a film called "Everybody Scratch." After the film, Ernie notices that Bert has stopped scratching his back; Beautiful Day Monster is.|
| Buzzing B|
|Ernie is startled when a buzzing B enters the room and flies around. Bert thinks it's harmless, but then it stings Bert on the nose.|
| X Bandage|
|Bert notices that Ernie has a bandage on his face that looks like an X. Ernie says he was in an x-ident ("accident").|
| Ernie's treasure map |
|Ernie has a treasure map of the living room, leading to a spot marked with an X. As Bert watches, he digs up a treasure chest with a letter X inside.|
| Ernie's R Collection |
| Ernie has a collection of Rs in a box. He shows Bert, who says that Ernie will be the laughingstock of Sesame Street if anyone else finds out. Ernie sadly throws away his Rs - and Bert asks to have the box for his J collection.
| Ernie and Bert share jellybeans |
| Ernie has six jellybeans, and Bert has seven. Bert thanks Ernie for giving him the extra jellybean. Ernie says that isn't fair - they should have an equal amount. To make it even, Ernie eats the extra jellybean. That's fair, isn't it?
| Chore Week|
|Ernie and Bert arrange how they'll take turns washing the dishes: Ernie will do it this week and Bert does it the next. Ernie isn't keen on spending 7 whole days washing dishes, so he decides to shorten his week and "skip" today (by skipping around the apartment).|
| Drinking Milk|
|Bert and Ernie are going out, but Ernie wants to finish his milk first. His cup is very small, but it takes a long time to drink. It takes just as long to fill up. When Bert finally wants to go, Ernie finishes the cup in one quick swig.|
| Ernie's "What Happens Next?" game |
|Ernie shows some picture cards, and asks Bert if he can figure out what happens next in each scenario.|
| Composing the alphabet|
| Ernie sings the ABCs to the tune of "The Blue Danube" on his ukulele. Bert tells him that's no way to play the alphabet; it should be more like the next segment... Listen My Brother singing "The Alphabet Song".|
Note: the script originally called for Ernie to play the piano.
| A letter for Mort|
|Ernie has promised to write a letter to his cousin Mort. Bert helps him with the spelling, but Ernie only gets as far as writing a large letter M on the envelope. Bert says he can't continue spelling the name, because Ernie's written M has taken up the whole space. Ernie says it fulfills his promise to Mort: he's written him a letter; the letter M.|
| Cookie cabinet |
|Bert and Ernie try to figure out who owns a cabinet containing cookies. Bert says that the cabinet is his because he has his first initial, B, on the door. However, the B is spread between two doors, and Ernie opens one door, making it look like an E.|
| The Sandbox Game |
|After watching the Jazz #8 cartoon, Ernie gets Bert to play a game with him, in which he says, "I one the sandbox," Bert says "I two the sandbox," and so on until Bert gets to "I eight the sandbox." "How'd it taste?" Ernie asks.|
| Alphabet Test|
|In a three-part sketch, Ernie conducts an "alphabet test" (using a poster from the Sesame Street Learning Kit). While Bert checks the poster, Ernie tries to recite the alphabet from memory. After a couple of snags, Ernie completes it. When Bert challenges him to say it backwards, Ernie turns his back from Bert and recites the alphabet, facing the poster.|
| Ernie talks about his trip to the zoo |
|Bert asks Ernie about his day. Ernie doesn't think anything interesting happened. Bert points out that Ernie went to the zoo, but Ernie says nothing interesting happened at the zoo. Then, he talks about a scratch he got on his finger and describes how he got it, realizing in the process that something interesting did happen after all.|
| Letter Tea |
|Ernie and Bert tell the viewer they're supposed to talk about the letter T. Various words (which appear on screen) begin with T, like triangle, table, telephone, and tickle (Ernie tickles Bert until he's asked to stop). Ernie's favorite thing to do is drink it, but Bert says if you have a cup of tea, you don't have a cup of the letter T. Ernie assures him that he does and drops a T out of his cup.|
| Through the Hoop |
|Ernie demonstrates the word "through" with the help of Beautiful Day Monster and Bert, who holds a hoop.|
|Ernie and Bert make toast, demonstrating fat and thin.|
| Bert's Big Sneeze |
|Ernie holds a hanky while Bert sneezes - and Bert's nose comes off in Ernie's hand. Ernie teases Bert by putting his nose back in the wrong places.|
| Z |
|Ernie is supposed to talk about the letter Z, but doesn't know what a Z looks or sounds like. He hears a buzzing noise, and looks around to find its source. He finds a funny looking thing in a drawer, which, as Bert points out, is a Z.|
| Bert's Nap |
| As Bert takes a nap, Ernie tells the viewer how he knows that Bert is asleep - thus waking Bert up, just to tell him it's time for his nap. Written by Jon Stone.
| What Happened Here? |
|Ernie shows drawings to Bert, and Bert has to guess what happened. Ernie has a drawing of an empty bird cage with an open door (the bird flew away), and a man lying on the ground with a banana peel next to him (he slipped on it). Then, Ernie shows Bert a blank page. The answer to that one is that there was a cow eating grass, but the grass is all eaten now, and the cow went home.|
| Ernie's ice cubes |
|Ernie wants to show Bert his ice-cube collection. The ice cubes were so cold that he had to put them in a box covered with an electric blanket. Much to Ernie's surprise, the ice cubes have disappeared. Since they were replaced with water, Ernie suspects that a fish might have stolen them. Bert tells him that it's because they've melted. Ernie, however, is now convinced that a fish melted the ice cubes, and angrily walks out the door to "tear him fin-from-fin."|
| Ernie cleans the apartment in 15 seconds |
| Ernie has promised to clean the apartment before lunchtime--but with only a minute left until then, the room is still filled with toys. Ernie claims to be the "faster picker-upper" in the world, so Bert makes a bet with him: he'll give Ernie his dessert of ice cream and cookies if he can finish the job. Ernie wins the bet by cleaning the whole apartment in fifteen seconds, explaining that when it comes to ice cream and cookies, he takes things very seriously.
| Ernie's Nap |
|During Ernie's naptime, Cookie Monster tries to steal - and eat - Ernie's pillow by distracting him with a bell.|
| Beautiful Day Monster steals Bert's cookies |
|Ernie struggles to save a plate of cookies for Bert. Beautiful Day Monster disguises himself as a baker and a little girl to trick Ernie out of four of the five cookies, but Bert blames Ernie.|
| Ernie interrupts Bert reading the newspaper |
|Ernie has a question but decides to wait until Bert is done reading the newspaper to ask. Ernie hums and talks to Rubber Duckie until Bert gives up reading the paper in exasperation. Then, Ernie asks his question: Can he borrow the newspaper?|
| Bert's "What Happens Next?" game |
| Bert shows Ernie pictures, and he needs to tell what happens next in each one. Ernie tells Bert some very imaginative stories. For the last picture (a man about to drive his car over a nail), Ernie says, "I think a monster's going to appear." Sure enough, behind Bert's back, Cookie Monster appears: "Can I have a cookie?"
| Two Noses |
| "Let's see," says Ernie. "We've got two eyes, and two ears, and two noses..." "Hey, you ding-a-ling!" Bert interrupts. "You've only got one nose!" Ernie promptly pulls Bert's nose off, sticks it onto his own face, and keeps counting. "Two noses, and two eyes, and two ears...too bad!"
This sketch was originally recorded for the test pilot.
| Cookie Monster on Ernie's phone |
| Part 1: Ernie expects a call from Bert, but lets Cookie Monster make a phone call to his mommy, provided it's short. He proceeds to tell her about show and tell at school.
Part 2: Cookie Monster tells his mommy about jumping rope after school and counts the jumps he made.
Part 3: Cookie Monster has counted up to 4,614 by now and asks how his brother Fred is. Ernie offers him a box of cookies to get off the phone.
Part 4: Cookie Monster finally gets off the phone, and then eats it. When Bert calls, Ernie has to talk to him through Cookie Monster's mouth.
| Newspaper Expedition |
|When it's Ernie's turn to get a newspaper from Hooper's Store, Ernie decides to plan everything he may need. He gets his scarf and hat and earmuffs in case it snows, his umbrella if it starts to rain, sunglasses and suntan cream if it's a sunny day, and a flashlight if it gets dark.|
| Ernie dusts the shelf |
| It's Ernie's turn to dust the shelf, but he is putting it off, trying to remember something important he has to do first. Bert thinks Ernie is just stalling to get out of doing chores, and eventually insists that Ernie start dusting. He does, and toys fall from the shelf and onto Bert's head. That prompts Ernie to remember what he had to do before dusting the shelf--take the toys off of it first. Written by Daniel Wilcox.
| Cookie Reminder |
|Bert wants to know why there is a cookie lying on the table. Ernie explains that he put it there to remind himself.|
| Ernie, the world's greatest counter |
| Ernie proclaims himself to be the world's greatest counter, yet he counts very slowly, and starts all over again if Bert interrupts him.
| Ernie eats cake |
|Ernie eats one of the two pieces of chocolate cake that Bert was saving for their dessert. Bert sees Ernie holding a fork in one hand and a napkin with some chocolate on it in the other--and in front of him is a plate full of chocolate-cake crumbs. When Bert accuses Ernie of eating the cake, Ernie tells Bert that a monster came in, ate Bert's cake, and framed Ernie. Bert doesn't believe Ernie's lie. But when Bert leaves the room, Beautiful Day Monster comes in and does exactly what Ernie told Bert happened to the first piece. Ernie tries to explain, but Bert says, "I don't want to talk about it." This causes Ernie to break down and cry.|
| Doctor Ernie |
|Ernie asks Bert to go play in the park with him. When Bert says "no," Ernie wonders if he isn't feeling well, and starts to examine him.|
| Ernie meets Simon Soundman |
| Simon Soundman comes to Ernie's apartment because he has some car trouble and needs to use Ernie's phone, but Ernie doesn't understand what he is trying to say.
| Table Manners |
| Ernie tries to teach Cookie Monster to use his knife, fork, and spoon.
| Matching Gloves and Shoes |
|Cookie Monster helps Ernie match mittens, shoes, and gloves - and put them away.|
| Cuppycakes |
| Ernie has a stack of seven cupcakes that he wants to take a picture of, but Cookie Monster keeps taking cupcakes (which he calls "cuppycakes").
| The Wrong Patient |
| Ernie's doctor comes over. Ernie keeps trying to tell the doctor why he called him, but the doctor is too occupied with checking on Ernie, hardly allowing him to get a word in edgewise.
| || Ernie's New Rubber Duckie |
| Part 1: A disconsolate Ernie tells Oscar the Grouch that he's lost his Rubber Duckie. Oscar tries to calm Ernie down and says that he'll buy Ernie another one. Ernie says he can't - Rubber Duckie is special and unique. He tells Oscar that Rubber Duckie is "cute, adorable, sweet, cuddly, and makes a wonderful sound." Oscar tells Ernie that he'll bring him a new one.
Part 2: Oscar comes back with a new Duckie, but this one is different - it's a Grouch duckie. They realize that they have different ideas of what is cute and ugly. Ernie thanks Oscar for trying to help - and when he sits down, he hears a familiar squeak. He digs through the stuff on the floor, and finds his Rubber Duckie! Ernie and Oscar argue over which of their toys is the cutest.
| Quiet and Loud |
| Bert says that he's going to demonstrate quiet by talking quietly to Ernie. But when he tries, Ernie claims that he can't hear what Bert is saying. Finally, Bert gets frustrated and shouts at Ernie; Ernie tells Bert not to be so loud. Written by Emily Perl Kingsley.
| Cookie Monster's diet |
|Cookie Monster tells Ernie that he is going on a diet, and won't take his cookies. Then, Grover tells Cookie that he looks sick.|
| Who took Bert's cookies? |
|Bert calls Ernie into the living room and accuses him of eating a plate of cookies he was saving for himself. Ernie denies it, but Bert describes three clues that suggest he's the culprit: the empty plate, someone with black hair and wearing a red and blue striped sweater, and that same someone laughing just like Ernie does. Ernie admits the evidence is against him but still claims that he is innocent...just as Cookie Monster, dressed in an Ernie disguise, enters, takes another plate of cookies, and laughs in a very familiar way.|
| String on Ernie's fingers |
| Ernie has a piece of string on each finger, in order to remind himself that they're all out of string.
| The Surprise Present |
| Bert has wrapped a surprise present which Ernie thinks is for him. He tries to guess what it is so as not to spoil the surprise. After a few wrong guesses, he unwraps it before Bert can stop him. It is indeed a surprise, a lady's hat with flowers. Bert had wrapped the gift for his Aunt Matilda.
| Here or not here |
|Bert is reading a book when Ernie startles him by asking if he wants to play checkers. Bert says, "I thought maybe you weren't here!" Ernie starts to search to see if he can find himself.|
| The TV Chair |
|Ernie and Bert fight over which one of them gets to sit in the chair to watch TV in, and Herry Monster tricks them into leaving so that he can sit in the chair.|
| Chocolate ice cream |
|Ernie eats the ice cream that Bert was saving for later, so he tries to pass off a smashed up banana with ice and gravy as a substitute. Bert expresses his disgust just as Oscar the Grouch comes in with two ice cream cones. He intends to give only one of them away, but swaps the other in exchange for the smashed banana with cold gravy.|
| Ernie has Bert pretend to be mad |
| Ernie wants Bert to pretend to be mad, but Bert says that he can't because he has nothing to feel angry about. Ernie asks Bert to pretend that he borrowed Bert's paper clip collection, and lost his favorite paper clip collection. The thought makes Bert really mad. Bert gets tired out and tells Ernie that he can't get mad anymore. Ernie makes a confession -- he really did lose Bert's favorite paper clip collection.
| Rubber Duckie on Desk |
|Bert tries to write a letter, but notices Rubber Duckie is in the way on his desk. He asks Ernie to move it and Ernie clutters the whole desk with objects to prepare for the move - to make room in the toybox, Ernie intends to put the football helmet in the cupboard, then move the cookies into the closet, then move the feather duster. Bert orders to have all the things removed and Ernie complies (in fast-motion). Bert is relieved that the desk is as it was...including Rubber Duckie still around.|
| Four cookies |
|Ernie eats one of Bert's cookies and doesn't know what to tell him. Bert observes that there are four cookies when there should be five. No matter how Ernie arranges them, there are still four cookies. Since Bert doesn't want to see four cookies, Ernie eats another one, making it three instead of four.|
| The Case of the Broken Window |
|Sherlock Hemlock helps Ernie discover how his window got broken. Ernie finds that the only evidence is a baseball, and together with Sherlock Hemlock, try to find out how who broke Ernie's window. It turns out that Sherlock Hemlock, who is the number five player of the Sesame Street Sluggers, hit a home run, which caused the baseball to go through the window.|
| Bert's Bottlecap collection |
| Bert shows off his bottlecap collection to Ernie, who remembers that he found a Figgy Fizz bottle cap -- the very one that Bert needed to complete his collection.
| The Radio Knob |
|Bert complains about Ernie having the radio volume on too loud. Ernie pulls the knob off the radio and puts it on Bert's stomach, and turns the volume of Bert's voice up and down.|
| Ernie's important note for Bert |
|Ernie has an important note for Bert, but he can't find it. He looks through the trash can for it and finds the note, which is a reminder that it is Bert's day to clean the apartment.|
| Pizza and Grape Juice |
|Ernie and Bert have pizza and grape juice. Bert complains that Ernie has more of each, so Ernie tries to make it even by eating some of his pizza and drinking some of his grape juice, but then Bert has more. And so on.|
| || Ernie has a banana in his ear |
| Part 1: Ernie is holding a banana in his ear. Bert tries to tell Ernie that he has a banana in his ear, but Ernie can't hear him because he has a banana in his ear.
For a complete list of references to this sketch, see Banana in the ear.
Part 2: Ernie reveals that he has a banana in his ear in order to keep the alligators away. He uses Bert's denial of any alligators on Sesame Street as proof that his method works.
Part 3: Ernie, having seen an alligator in the previous cartoon, thinks he'll probably need a fresh banana, figuring the one he already has doesn't seem to work anymore. (This part is often left out; a Swedish dubbed version can be seen here)
| Ernie and the onion |
|While cutting an onion into slices, Ernie sees Bert playing with a toy truck. Ernie suddenly starts to cry; Bert, to try to cheer him up gives the toy to his buddy realizing just then that Ernie's crying was caused by the onion.|
| Ernie prepares for his bath |
| Ernie brings an umbrella, a flashlight, and a bowling ball to the bathtub, just in case the electricity goes out, the roof leaks, and somebody shows up asking to borrow a bowling ball. Bert thinks that Ernie is being ridiculous -- but everything happens, just as Ernie predicted.
| Ernie is special |
| Ernie thinks that he isn't special. Bert tells Ernie to feel his nose -- "That's an Ernie nose!" -- and then feel his hair, and wiggle his fingers. Bert says that nobody else is just like Ernie. Encouraged, Ernie tells the audience to do the same.
| Big Shelf, Little Shelf |
| Ernie can't decide which of the two different shelves he should place a large vase on, so Bert tells him to use his imagination. Ernie imagines the vase falling off the little shelf and Bert kicking him out of the apartment. Then, Ernie imagines putting the vase on the big shelf, and Bert rewarding him with a big surprise party. Written by Daniel Wilcox.
| Peanut Butter Sandwiches |
|Ernie has gone shopping -- buying bread for himself, and peanut butter for Bert. They realize that it's dull to eat what they have separately, and they decide to cooperate, so they can each have a peanut butter sandwich.|
| Ernie plays the drums |
| Bert goes out to mail a letter, and depends on Ernie to let him in when he knocks. Instead of letting Bert in, Ernie repeats Bert's knocks on the drums. Written by Jerry Juhl.
| Ernie tries not to wake Bert |
|Ernie comes home to a sleeping Bert and tries to think of things to do that won't wake him up. He can't watch TV, and he can't play with his ball. Bored, he decides to take a nap too -- but then he starts to snore. This awakens Bert, who wonders out loud where the noise is coming from, in the process arousing Ernie, who gets mad at being woken up.|
| Ernie puts toys into groups |
|Bert tells Ernie to put away his toys, and Ernie devises a system of arranging toys. Unfortunately, all the categories he names apply only to his toy fire engine.|
| Tall, Taller, Tallest |
|Ernie is tall, Bert taller, and Big Bird is the tallest (and he also breaks the ceiling).|
|Ernie doesn't want to disturb Bert as he reads the newspaper, so he intends to write down what he needs to say. He interrupts Bert anyhow to ask how to spell the word "HELP," then to make sure his sign is correct. Bert suddenly becomes concerned that Ernie needs his help, but it turns out that Ernie has made a "Help Yourself" sign in regards to a plate of cookies he's prepared.|
| Ernie's Telephone Call |
| Ernie answers the telephone. Bert overhears the conversation, which involves a baseball game, a rainy day, and a gorilla stealing a baloney sandwich. When Bert asks who just called, Ernie says it was a wrong number. Written by Ray Sipherd.
| Fish in the cowboy hat |
| Ernie tries to put a pot on Bert's head. Bert asks Ernie why he's doing that, and Ernie says that he broke a cookie jar. Ernie has to put the cookies somewhere, so he put them in the sugar bowl – and put the sugar in the flowerpot, which meant that he had to put the flower in a milk bottle. He put the milk in the soda bottle, and the soda into the fishbowl, and the fish in Bert's cowboy hat. Bert asks, "Now what am I gonna wear when I wanna play cowboy?" Ernie puts the pot on Bert's head and says, "Ride 'em, cowboy, Bert!" Written by Norman Stiles.
| || Upside-Down Book|
|Ernie thinks something is wrong with the book he's borrowed from the library. Bert points out that it's upside-down and illustrates the concept using their portrait on the wall. Instead of turning the book right side up, Ernie suspends himself upside-down from above, reading the book this way.|
| Talk Slower |
|Ernie approaches Bert in a harried manner, talking rapidly. Bert tells him to talk slower so he can understand him. Ernie says, slowly, that Bert's toast is burning, which causes Bert to speak in the same rapid, harried manner.|
| Arkansas Traveler  |
|Everything is getting wet because it's raining and a window is stuck open. But Ernie explains that he can't fix it now because he'd get wet in all that rain. When the rain stops, he explains to Bert that since it's not raining anymore, nothing's getting wet, and there's no reason to fix it.|
| Ernie forgets something after his bath |
|Ernie comes from finishing his bath and tells Bert that there's something that he forgot. Bert asks if he's washed behind his ears, his neck, and his elbows. Finally, Ernie remembers that he forgot to turn off the water in the tub -- as the water level rises.|
| A special day |
| Bert is curious as to whom Ernie is decorating the room for. It turns out to be the viewer at home.
| Painting of Bert |
| Ernie is painting a portrait of Bert but paints Bert with curly hair, glasses, and a beard. When Bert gets angry about this, Ernie takes him behind the easel and puts curly hair, glasses and a beard on Bert.
| Bert's purple hand |
| Bert can't go on a trip with Ernie because his hand has purple paint on it. Ernie puts a mitten on Bert's hand to cover it, but Bert still won't go because he looks silly wearing one mitten. So Ernie completes the outfit with another mitten, a hat, a scarf, and a sled. Ernie then reveals that they are going to the beach.
| Imaginary Baseball Game |
| Ernie is sad because it's raining and he can't play baseball. Bert encourages him to imagine that he's playing instead. In Ernie's imagination, he hits a high fly ball that lands in the ocean. Bert tells Ernie that the sun is out, and he can go out and play now. Ernie says that he can't play -- his ball fell in the ocean.
| Ernie gets Bert warm |
| Bert says he's too cold, so Ernie goes overboard to get him warm by putting layer after layer of clothing upon him. This makes him too hot, so Ernie opens the window and brings his electric fan.
| Glass of Water |
|Ernie keeps taking glasses of water outside the apartment. Bert thinks of possible uses Ernie could have for this water. As it turns out, the kitchen faucet is broken, and Ernie's trying to get rid of the water before the apartment floods.|
| Bert is Sick |
| Ernie has heard that somebody in the neighborhood is sick. He looks in a medical book to find out how to tell if someone is sick... not realizing that Bert is the one with a cold. When Ernie finally realizes that Bert is ill, he's thrilled--Bert must have caught the cold from the sick person, so he can tell Ernie who it is! Written by Jerry Juhl.
| Which Hat Will Fit? |
|Ernie purchases a straw hat for Bert, and asks Cookie Monster which box the hat will go in.|
| The Q Game |
|Ernie asks Bert to play a game where they take turns counting and then saying "Q." Ernie goes first with "1 Q," and Bert follows with "2 Q." The game continues until Bert gets to "10 Q." "You're welcome, Bert!" Ernie says.|
| Ernie prepares to do the laundry |
|Ernie gets ready to do the laundry, gathering things to do while he's waiting for the laundry to be done. He fills up the laundry basket with toys... and doesn't have room for the laundry.|
| Ernie and Bert divide licorice |
| Ernie has a licorice whip that he offers to share with Bert. He divides the licorice in half with a pair of scissors but then discovers that Bert's half is longer than his. He cuts off a little bit of Bert's half and eats it. Then he discovers that his own half is longer than Bert's, and that's not fair, so he cuts a bit off of his own, and eats it. Ernie goes back and forth, shaving off more and more until the licorice whip is gone.
Commentary: Tough Pigs
| Bert is outside of the apartment |
|Ernie won't let Bert into the apartment. At first, Bert worries his friend might be in trouble, or feeling sad, but then he thinks Ernie might be hiding something from him, which makes him mad. He demands to be let in -- and finds that Ernie has thrown him a surprise party, which makes him happy.|
| Statue of Bert |
| Ernie makes a clay bust of Bert, but runs out of clay for the nose, so he pulls Bert's nose off and puts it on the statue.
| Sharing a Banana |
|Bert asks Ernie to share a banana with him. Ernie gets the inside of the banana, and gives Bert the peel.|
| Sharing a Cookie |
|Bert refuses to share his cookie with Ernie, who tells Bert that if the cookie was his, he wouldn't mind sharing. Ernie takes the cookie and asks Bert to ask him if he would share it.|
| A picture of Bert |
| Ernie tells Bert to stand still in front of the camera so that he can trace Bert's face on the screen.
| The Electric Fan |
| Bert is trying to write a letter to Mr. Rogers, but finds it difficult when Ernie operates his electric fan right next to him. Bert blows up at Ernie and says he is "hot and bothered," and Ernie has just the thing for that: more cool air. Written by Ray Sipherd.
| H on TV |
| Bert complains when a big letter H appears on the TV screen, so Ernie turns off the set, unplugs it, and takes a bunch of H objects out of the TV (including a hat, a house, and a hamster). When he plugs it back in, a big letter I appears on the screen.
| Bert's Drum Set |
|Bert has acquired some drums, but he doesn't know how to play them well. Ernie teaches him how to make drum playing exciting.|
| Cups and saucers |
|Ernie stacks cups and saucers in order to count them, making Bert quite nervous. Luckily, they're glued together.|
| Bert's brother Bart visits |
| Bert expects a visit from his identical twin brother Bart. Ernie notes that they're alike in many ways, but their major difference is that Bart has a sense of humor.
| Ernie's Flying Fingers |
|Ernie says that he has "flying fingers," and tries to find ten different things that his fingers can do.|
| Ernie's Guess What I Am Game |
| Ernie pretends to be a dog and a duck. Bert then pretends to be a train, and does it so well that a train conductor and passengers come through the apartment.
| Dr. Monster |
|Cookie Monster asks Ernie if he has any cookies. Ernie says that he doesn't have any cookies but an apple and he can't give the apple to him because "an apple a day will keep the doctor away." Later Cookie Monster comes disguised as Doctor Monster and gives Ernie a medical checkup. After the checkup, Ernie asks what he owes Doctor Monster. By sheer coincidence, his bill is one apple.|
| Rhyming Game |
| Ernie gets Bert to participate in a rhyme game, but Ernie ends the game just as Bert is starting to enjoy it.
| Ernie plays doctor |
| Ernie plays doctor and makes Bert be the patient for his check-up. He checks Bert's heart, mouth and more. At the end, Bert wonders how he is feeling, but Ernie can't tell him that until he's a real doctor, twenty-three years from now. Bert faints after Ernie's answer and Ernie wonders if there's a doctor in the house.
| Ernie leads the band |
| Bert finds it difficult to listen to Pigeons in the News while Ernie and the Sesame Street Citizens' Band are outside practicing. In yet another case of miscommunication between the two, since Bert doesn't like it when they practice outside, Ernie leads the band into the apartment so they can practice inside.
| Get Moving |
| Ernie turns on the radio to hear his favorite exercise show, Get Moving. He engages the viewer to do all the exercises he does, such as touching toes and jumping. Bert joins in and has so much fun jumping that he doesn't notice that his favorite program, Pigeons in the News, is coming on.
| Bert Is "It" |
| As Bert tries to read a book, Ernie comes into the living room and tells him that it's time to exercise. Bert would rather keep reading, so Ernie tags him and claims he is "it." He then peeks around every side of Bert's chair, reminding the viewer that Bert is now "it" at different volumes. Bert eventually loses his temper and starts chasing Ernie, finally tagging him and making him "it." Bert then admits that the exercising was fun...which is good news, because Ernie tags him once again, restarting the game.
| Life Without Bert |
| After Bert gets mad at Ernie, Ernie imagines what life would be like without Bert. Written by Ray Sipherd.
| Ernie comes home from camp |
| Ernie returns home from Camp Winnewonga, to Bert's surprise. Ernie shows Bert all the things he brought back from camp, such as some rocks and a paper clip.
| Ernie's alphabet story (remake) |
| Ernie reads a story for Bert that he's written on his typewriter. It turns out to be a dramatic reading of the alphabet.
| Brad's bath |
| It's time for Bert to give his nephew, Brad, a bath, but Ernie thinks the tub needs some toys, and puts so many toys in the tub that there is no room for Brad to take a bath.
| Ernie Prepares for a Flood at the Library |
|Ernie is planning to go to the library when he hears on the radio that it might rain. So he gets out his umbrella and puts on his raincoat, rain hat, and galoshes. Then, in case it floods, he takes a bag of groceries and a life preserver. Finally, he makes Bert go to the library with him, so he won't be stranded in the flood without him.|
| Sharing a Pie |
| Ernie has two slices of apple pie. He takes the big piece and gives Bert the small piece. Bert takes offense to this, saying that he would have given Ernie the big piece and kept the small piece for himself - but the outcome is the same, so what's Bert so angry about?
| Ernie's Disguise Kit |
| Ernie tries to fool Bert with his disguises such as a pirate disguise and a red riding hood disguise, but Bert has recognized him and tells him to stop fooling him. Then a wolf knocks on the door, and Bert is convinced it's Ernie in disguise again. Written by Judy Freudberg, Tony Geiss and Herbert Hartig.
| Sharing a newspaper |
|Bert is sitting in his chair and reading the paper. Ernie comes and reads over Bert's shoulder. They decide to share the paper and Ernie rips it in two parts.|
| Bert teaches Bernice how to play checkers |
| Bert teaches his pigeon, Bernice, how to play checkers. Ernie thinks it's amazing that a pigeon can play checkers, but Bert thinks it is no big deal, because Bernice has only beaten Bert in two out of ten games.
| Too much TV |
|On a rainy day, Ernie watches TV, when Bert suggests he do something else, like write a story. Thus, Ernie sets everything out on the table, including pencils, paper, a pencil sharpener, and a wastebasket (which somehow ended up on Bert's head). Ernie now has everything he needs to write a story except a story idea. He decides to leave everything laid out until he has one.|
| What's in Ernie's clothes |
| Ernie is wearing winter gear, and asks Bert to guess what is in his gloves and hat.
A brief clip from this sketch was used during the 1981-1982 opening for the Dutch version of the show.
| Happy Birthday to U |
| Ernie sings "Happy Birthday" to a letter U, which blows out the candle on the cake.
| Weighing cherries |
|Ernie tries to use a scale to divide the cherries evenly, but he characteristically eats them all. Bert screams and faints.|
| Bed Making Cooperation |
|Ernie notices that on his bed which Bert is preparing, there is one side where the blanket is shorter than the other. Bert suggests that Ernie and he cooperate while making the blanket even on both sides, in the process the blanket is shorter on one side than the other.|
| Bert's Telephone |
|While Ernie finishes his conversation with Grover on the telephone, Bert comes inside with a package containing an antique telephone because he won't have to wait for Ernie to finish his turn using the phone.|
| Watching Fish |
| Ernie wants to go outside and play catch, but Bert gets him interested in watching his goldfish.
| Ernie Copies Bert's Picture |
|Ernie plans on copying Bert's felt board template called "Cookies on a Plate in a Room with a Window" which features just that. Ernie goes through various pieces, seeing which ones match Bert's. Once he finishes, Cookie Monster enters the apartment and complements the picture, but likes Bert's more and rips the cookies off the picture and eats them. Ernie sobs, as now his picture is different from Bert's, so Cookie solves everything by eating the cookies off of Ernie's picture.|
| What to paint? |
| Ernie and Bert decide to use both Bert's canvas and Ernie's paints to paint a picture of something. Bert wants to paint a bowl of oatmeal, but Ernie wants to paint a purple monster. Finally, they decide to paint a purple monster eating a bowl of oatmeal.
| Ernie tries to scare Bert |
| While Bert is reading, Ernie tries to scare him by dressing up as a ghost. When Ernie notices that Bert left his chair while he fetched a white sheet, Ernie sits down in the chair and relaxes, until Bert enters the room and startles him.
| Sitting |
| Bert asks Ernie to help him carry his heavy groceries, but Ernie is too busy thinking about all the things he can do as he sits in a chair: breathing, listening and smelling.
| Ernie's Rollerskate |
|Bert tells Ernie to put his rollerskate away. Ernie imagines what would happen if Bert would step on it... he would most likely slide out the door, and fetch him an ice cream cone on the way!|
| Bert feels sad |
|Ernie notices that Bert is feeling sad, but Bert doesn't know why. Ernie thinks it's odd for Bert to be sad for no reason, and comes up with reasons to feel sad. Bert feels better after hearing this (and that there's no reason for him to feel sad), but Ernie's last idea (missing your best friend after he's moved) ends up making Ernie feel terrible.|
| Winter Checkers |
| It's cold outside, so Bert tries to ask Ernie to play a game with him. Ernie keeps bringing winter equipment into the room, thinking Bert wants to play outside. It turns out he just wants to play a game of checkers.
| Same Old Bert |
| Bert gets all dressed up for the Pigeon Lover's Party, but he looks so different that Ernie doesn't believe that it's him.
| Follow the Arrows |
| Ernie has Bert play a "Follow the Arrows" game, which leads him to the main camera, looking at the TV viewer.
| Someone to Watch Over Me |
|Ernie enjoys watching Bert read a book, but Ernie's staring at him is driving Bert bananas.|
| Bert Imagines|
|Big Bird yells down into Bert and Ernie's window, hoping the two can come out and meet Mr. Snuffleupagus. Ernie is willing to go out, but Bert insists that Snuffy isn't real and emphasizes to Ernie the power of imagination. Bert peers out the window and sees Snuffy is real, but Ernie thinks he's just using his imagination.|
| Bert Almost Shops for Dinner |
| Bert tells Ernie not to open the locked door until he gets back from his shopping trip. After he leaves the apartment, however, he realizes he forgot his money, but no matter what he does, Ernie won't let him in the apartment because he thinks this is practice.
| Bert copies the drums |
| Ernie plays a game with Bert where Ernie plays riffs on his drum set and Bert has to repeat them back. Bert is surprisingly good at the game.
| Ernie is Alone |
|Ernie realizes that Bert's not home and that he can do whatever he wants. He acts out a typical scenario in which he plays the radio loud and Bert tells him to turn it down ... but it doesn't feel the same without Bert around.|
| Ernie brings home a surprise |
| Ernie brings a surprise home, and he tells Bert to guess what it is. The surprise turns out to be a puppy. Bert wants to call the puppy Norman; Ernie suggests Godzilla the Wonder-Dog.
| Sneak Peek Previews |
|Ernie and Bert watch "Sneak Peek Previews," in which Telly Monster and Oscar the Grouch review the "Song of Ten." After the show ends, Ernie shocks Bert by carrying a stack of ten chocolate layer cakes... which turn out to be plastic. Oscar and Telly peek through the apartment window and argue about whether or not Ernie's joke was funny.|
| Ernie makes a grocery list |
|Bert tells Ernie to make a grocery list, but Ernie can't find anything to write with ... except for chocolate pudding. (Bert: "He's improving. Last time he used spaghetti sauce.") Written by Norman Stiles.|
| Ernie and Ernestine's differences |
| Ernie talks about the differences between himself and his cousin, Ernestine.
| The Feelings Game |
| Bert doesn't want to play "The Feelings Game" with Ernie. Ernie expresses both sadness and anger in response to Bert, and Bert gets angry about not wanting to play, thus making him a participant in the game after all.
| Teaching Ernestine Names |
|Ernie can't seem to get Ernestine to say his name, but Ernestine has no trouble saying Bert's name.|
| Heavy and Light |
|Ernie wants to play a game with Bert about heavy and light. Bert surprisingly wants to play. Ernie shows the audience all the light objects including a tissue, cotton candy, and a feather. Bert has to bring in all the heavy objects including a barbell, a boulder, and a piano.|
| The Opposite Game |
| Against Bert's will, Ernie plays a game with him in which he says a word which is the opposite of every word Bert emphasizes. When Bert finally agrees to PLAY, Ernie becomes stumped, since he can't figure out of the opposite of the word PLAY.
|Picture||Summary / First Appearance||Description|
| Headphones |
| In order not to disturb Bert while reading, Ernie wears headphones to listen to the radio. Now Bert can't hear anything... except Ernie singing along very loudly.
| Hola |
|Ernie practices saying "Hola" as he repeatedly opens and shuts the door. To make him stop, Bert convinces him he's mastered it. Ernie starts to practice saying adiós instead. Written by Norman Stiles.|
| Quiet |
|Ernie tries to do everything quietly while Bert is reading. Bert gets annoyed and shouts at Ernie, so Ernie thinks it's okay to make loud noise again.|
| Ernie Plays House |
|Bert tries to guess which part of the family Ernie is pretending to be -- which turns out to be the stove.|
| Ernie Walks Forwards and Backwards |
|While Bert is trying to read a book about pigeons, Ernie practices walking backwards and always bumps into Bert when he does. To solve this problem, Ernie pushes Bert's chair (with Bert in it) out of the apartment.|
| Discovery of Air |
| Bert is reading a book about air and tells Ernie that air moves things. Ernie decides to verify that with his electric fan, which blows Bert's book away - so that Bert can play baseball with Ernie.
| The Lost Duckie |
| Ernie has lost his Rubber Duckie and calls Bert, who is out of town, for help. As Ernie gets more upset, he starts to jump up and down in the chair, when they both hear Rubber Duckie squeaking. Ernie looks under the cushion and finds him. He runs off to play with Rubber Duckie, forgetting to hang up the phone.
| Toy Box |
|Ernie puts all his toys away and shows Bert how he remembers where Rubber Duckie is: he's under all his toys!|
| Tea Party |
| Telly joins Ernie's pretend tea party, for which he invited the Friendly Giant, Cinderella and Super Adventure Boy.
| Bert sings "Rubber Duckie" |
| Ernie makes Bert sing "Rubber Duckie" to his duckie to prepare for a time Ernie's not around and Rubber Duckie wants to be sung to. Just as soon as Bert begins to enjoy singing, Ernie has to leave.
| Bert and the banana phone |
| Bert sees Ernie talk to an elephant while using a banana as a phone. Ernie explains to Bert that he is just pretending, but then he tells Bert that the elephant wants to talk to him.
| Magnet |
|Bert shows Ernie a way to pick up paperclips without using his fingers: By using a magnet! However, Ernie points out that Bert used his fingers to pick up the magnet.|
| Bert's hats |
|Bert is going to a pigeon convention but can't decide which of two hats he wants to wear to the convention, despite the fact that they are identical. Written by Sonia Manzano.|
| Dancing Monsters |
|Bert's reading is interrupted by Ernie with a room of monsters dancing in various styles.|
| Frog Count to 100 |
|Bert tells Ernie that the perfect way to start the day is with a big bowl of oatmeal. But Ernie disagrees, saying that the "perfect" way to start the day is with a frog who can count to 100 by tens. The frog ends up "knee-deep" in Bert's oatmeal.|
| Guess That Animal Sound |
| Ernie makes a few animal sounds and wants Bert to guess what sounds he is making. Bert just wants to read his book and keeps guessing correctly by accident. Eventually, Ernie decides to agree to stop playing the game and leaves, but then a lion comes in and roars. Bert isn't paying attention and thinks that Ernie is making the animal sounds even though he promised not to.
| "In My Book" |
| Ernie invites Bert to play ball, but Bert prefers to read instead. He sings "In My Book," and soon finds himself clustered around by Ernie and all the characters referenced in his song.
| Ernie pretends to be Bernice |
|Bert's pigeon Bernice can't play with him, so Ernie pretends that he is Bernice. Then Ernie asks Bert to pretend that he is Ernie's Rubber Duckie.|
| Guess What's Next Game |
| Bert tries to play a “Guess What's Next” pattern game with Ernie with paper clips and bottle caps. Then Ernie plays the game with Bert using sheep, chickens, and a cow. After the game is done, Ernie wants to play again (without farm animals this time) and decides to start with an Elephant, who rummages the whole room.
A brief clip from this segment (altered with football-related elements) appeared in a NFL commercial that aired during the 2011 Superbowl.
| Out and In ||When Bert reads a book called "Out and In," Ernie comes up with a game, where he keeps running in and out through the front door. When he doesn't come back in the last time, Bert goes out looking for him, not realizing that Ernie came back in the back door.|
| Big and Small ||Ernie wants to talk about big and small, so naturally, he recruits Bert to help. He suits him up with a hat too big for his head while Ernie wears one that's too small. Ernie picks up a tiny box and asks Bert to get the one off-screen which is so big that Bert has trouble carrying it. Finally, Bert wants to demonstrate small this time, so Ernie gives him a bite-sized cookie, only to walk away with an enormous cookie for himself.|
| Bottle cap Stack ||Bert tries to keep his stack of bottle caps safe from an energetic Ernie, who demonstrates to Bert all the different things he can do.|
| Taking Turns ||While Bert reads, Ernie begins playing his drums, which makes it hard for him to read. So, Ernie comes up with an idea for them to take turns, however, Bert's turns don't last as long as he hoped.|
| Best Friends || Ernie wants to know if Bert will still be his best friend if he has a hat and jumps around saying "rutabaga". Bert stops him and says that he will be his best friend no matter what. Ernie then decides that he won't do those things anymore. Instead, he wants to have a fish on his head, dance and say "hippity hoppity".
| Music and Plants || Ernie thinks Bert's plant will grow faster if he plays it some music.
- ↑ Muppets Gone Missing: Emily Perl Kingsley at GraphicPolicy.com
- ↑ Script documents provided by trusted source
- ↑ Documents provided by trusted source
- ↑ This segment was inserted into the summer reruns of episode 3806. It was not a part of the original airing and was not used in any subsequent episode.