Ernie and Bert Sketches: Apartment

Ernie and Bert sketches which take place in their apartment set. See also Ernie and Bert Sketches: Nighttime.

Picture	Summary	Earliest Known Appearance	Description
	Appliance War	Episode 0003	Ernie and Bert are watching TV, but Bert gets bored and decides to play a record. Ernie tells him to turn down the volume, but Bert won't, so Ernie drowns out Bert's music by playing the radio. Bert then retaliates by turning on the blender. With all four things running at once, they blow a fuse. Bert goes outside to fix the fuse box, while Ernie turns off all the things that were running. Now that the lights are back on, they decide to play cards instead of fight.
	Bert's egg	Episode 0003	Ernie finds an egg on the counter. Bert tells him to put it away so he can eat it later. Ernie doesn't understand. Bert sighs, "Just drop it!"... and Ernie does.
	Bert and the banana phone	Episode 0004	Bert sees Ernie talk to "an elephant" while using a banana as a phone. Ernie explains to Bert that he is just pretending, but then he tells Bert that the elephant wants to talk to him. This sketch was remade in the 2000s.
	The Mysterious Nose Snatcher	Episode 0005	Bert points out that the "Mysterious Nose Snatcher" has arrived. Ernie walks closer and closer to the camera to see, but when he pulls away from the camera, his nose is missing!
	Kiss From A Monster	Episode 0005	Ernie chuckles when Alice Braithwaite Goodyshoes gets kissed by a monster. Bert says that he wouldn't think that was funny if it happened to him. Then the Beautiful Day Monster shows up and kisses Ernie.
	Ernie's A Machine	Episode 0006	Ernie invents a machine that makes A's -- you turn the crank over here, you push the button on top, and out comes an A. But it doesn't work when it rains -- it only makes A when the sun shines.
	Ernie demonstrates Before and After	Episode 0007	Ernie wants to have some cookies. Bert asks Ernie if he knows what "before" means, and Ernie demonstrates by saying that before he can have a cookie, he has to open the lid to a cookie jar, and after he closes the lid, he eats the cookie. He demonstrates a few times, until he loses his appetite for lunch. Pictures and dialogue from this sketch were included in The Sesame Street Book of Puzzlers.
	Bacon and X / Ernie erases Cookie Monster	Episode 0008	Part 1: Ernie studies drawing the letter X in a schoolroom. Part 2: Unnamed Cookie Monster Eats Bert's Bacon and Ernie's Very Own 'X' Part 3: Ernie erases X's from the blackboard, and we see a cartoon with a little boy erasing things as he counts them. Part 4: Ernie threatens to erase Cookie Monster if he doesn't leave, and shows him the cartoon once again. Part 5: Ernie erases Cookie Monster
	Ernie's alphabet story	Episode 0009	Ernie writes a dramatic story, which is actually the alphabet. This sketch was later remade in the 1970s.
	Bert explains the number 4	Episode 0009	Bert has a number 4 in his hand, and asks Ernie what it is. Ernie doesn't know, and guesses that it's a chocolate pie. Bert decides to cut to a film about the number 4, so that Ernie can get a clue. When the clip is over, Ernie makes another guess: a cream pie. "If this is a cream pie, then what is this?" asks Bert, while he pulls out a cream pie. "That's a four!" Ernie grins, and Bert pushes the pie in Ernie's face. "I knew it was a pie," Ernie remarks to the camera, "but who wants to be hit in the face with a number four?"
	Ernie Cleans Up	Episode 0010	Part 1: Bert tells Ernie to clean up the messy apartment. Part 2: Ernie has finished cleaning up the apartment, but the toy chest is still a mess, so he throws toys all over the place.
	Milk and cookies	Episode 0011	Ernie is preparing to have a snack but discovers that they keep on vanishing. He eventually catches the culprit...
	Ernie's treasure map	Episode 0013	Ernie has a treasure map of the living room, leading to a spot marked with an X. As Bert watches, he digs up a treasure chest with a letter X inside.
	Ernie and Bert share jellybeans	Episode 0014	Ernie has six jellybeans, and Bert has seven. Bert thanks Ernie for giving him the extra jellybean. Ernie says that isn't fair -- they shouuld have an equal amount. To make it even, Ernie eats the extra jellybean. That's fair, isn't it? Pictures and dialogue from this sketch were included in The Sesame Street Book of Puzzlers.
	Ernie's "What Happens Next?" game	Episode 0017	Ernie has some picture cards and asks Bert if he can figure out what happens next.
	Cookie cabinet	Episode 0019	Bert and Ernie try to figure out who owns a cabinet containing cookies. Bert says that the cabinet is his, because he has his first initial, B, on the door. However, the B is spread between two doors, and Ernie opens one door, making it look like an E.
	The Sandbox Game	Episode 0019	After watching the Jazz #8 cartoon, Ernie gets Bert to play a game with him, in which he says "I one the sandbox", Bert says "I two the sandbox", and so on until Bert gets to "I eight the sandbox." "How'd it taste?" Ernie asks.
	Ernie talks about his trip to the zoo	Episode 0020	Bert asks Ernie about his day. Ernie doesn't think anything interesting happened. Bert points out that Ernie went to the zoo, but Ernie says nothing interesting happened at the zoo. Then he talks about a scratch he got on his finger, and talks about how he got it, realizing in the process that something interesting did happen after all.
	Through The Hoop	Episode 0023	Ernie demonstrates the word "through" with the help of Beautiful Day Monster and Bert, who holds a hoop.
	Bert's Nose	Episode 0026	Ernie holds a hanky while Bert sneezes -- and Bert's nose comes off in Ernie's hand. Ernie teases Bert by putting his nose back in the wrong places.
	What Happened Here?	Episode 0030	Ernie shows drawings to Bert, and Bert has to guess what happened. Ernie has a drawing of an empty bird cage with an open door (the bird flew away), and a man lying on the ground with a banana peel next to him (he slipped on it). Then Ernie shows Bert an empty page. The answer to that one is that there was a cow eating grass, but the grass is all eaten now and the cow went home.
	Ernie's ice cubes	Episode 0033	Ernie wants to show Bert his ice cube collection, however, they were too cold so he put them in a box covered with an electric blanket. Much to Ernie's surprise, the ice cubes have disappeared. Bert tells him that it's because they've melted. Ernie, however, doesn't believe him and starts to think that a fish might have stolen them, and angrily walks out the door to "rip his scales off".
	Ernie cleans the apartment in 15 seconds	Episode 0033	Bert tells Ernie that if he can clean the messy apartment in less than 15 seconds, he will give Ernie his dessert, ice cream and cookies.
	Beautiful Day Monster steals Bert's cookies	Episode 0041	Ernie struggles to save a plate of cookies for Bert. Beautiful Day Monster disguises himself as a baker and a little girl to trick Ernie out of four of the five cookies, but Bert blames Ernie.
	Ernie interrupts Bert reading the newspaper	Episode 0042	Ernie has a question, but Bert is reading the newspaper. Ernie hums and talks to Rubber Duckie until Bert gives up reading the paper in exasperation. Then Ernie can ask his question: Can he borrow the newspaper?
	Bert's "What Happens Next?" game	Episode 0056	Bert shows Ernie pictures and he needs to tell what happens next. Ernie tells Bert some very imaginative stories based on the pictures. For the last picture (a man about to drive his car over a nail), Ernie says, "I think a monster's going to appear". Sure enough, behind Bert's back, Cookie Monster appears: "Can I have a cookie?" Pictures and dialogue from this sketch were included in The Sesame Street Book of Puzzlers
	Two of Everything	Episode 0061	Ernie explains to the audience how people have two of everything: "two eyes, two ears, two hands, two noses..." "Wait a minute, you ding-a-ling!" Bert interrupts. "People don't have two noses!" Ernie promptly pulls Bert's nose off, sticks it to his own face, and keeps counting. "Two noses, two hands, two ears, two eyes ... too bad!" This sketch was originally recorded for the test pilot.
File:ErnieCMPhone.jpg	Cookie Monster on Ernie's phone	Episode 0064	Part 1: Ernie expects a phone call from Bert, but Cookie Monster needs to use it. Parts 2 and 3: Ernie impatiently waits for Cookie Monster to finish. Part 4: Cookie Monster finally finishes the phone, and he "thanks" Ernie by eating it. Then Bert calls. Pictures and dialogue from this segment were included in The Sesame Street Book of People and Things.
	Ernie dusts the shelf	Episode 0094	It's Ernie's turn to dust the shelf. Bert complains that Ernie always stalls , Ernie is trying to remember what he should do before he dusts the shelf. Bert tells Ernie to dust the shelf, Ernie does and the toys fall. The audio for this sketch appears on Ernie's Hits.
	Cookie Reminder	Episode 0095	Bert wants to know why there is a cookie lying on the table. Ernie explains that he put it there to remind himself.
	Ernie, the world's greatest counter	Episode 0107	Ernie proclaims himself to be the world's greatest counter, yet he counts very slowly, and starts all over again if Bert interrupts him.
File:Chocolate Cake.JPG	Ernie eats Bert's cake	Episode 0119	Ernie eats the cake that Bert was planning on eating. Bert sees some icing on Ernie's mouth, a bib around his neck, and a fork and knife in Ernie's hand, and Ernie tells Bert that a monster came in, ate Bert's cake, and put the evidence on Ernie. Bert doesn't believe Ernie's lie and gets another piece of cake, but when he leaves the room, Beautiful Day Monster comes in and does exactly what Ernie told Bert happened to the first cake, but Bert doesn't believe Ernie.
	Doctor Ernie	Episode 0124	Ernie asks Bert to go play in the park with him. When Bert says no, Ernie wonders if he isn't feeling well and starts to examine him.
	Who took Bert's cookies?	Episode 0158	Bert thinks that Ernie has eaten his cookies, but it turns out that Cookie Monster (dressed as Ernie) ate the cookies. (YouTube)
	Table Manners	Episode 0182	Ernie tries to teach a Cookie Monster to use his knife, fork, and spoon.
	Ernie's Lost Rubber Duckie	Episode 0192	Part 1: Ernie looks around the apartment for his Rubber Duckie, but it is nowhere to be found. This leads him to think that he may have lost it, and starts to cry. Oscar enters the room to lend a sympathetic ear to Ernie (as he liked to see unhappy people). After hearing everything Ernie told him about what his old duckie looked like, which he described as "cute and adorable", Oscar decides to cheer Ernie up by giving him his rubber duckie. Part 2: Oscar comes back with the new duckie as he promised, but Ernie is still unsatisfied as it wasn't as cute as Ernie thought it would be, because the one Oscar gave him was 10-inches tall, ratty black hair and instead of the usual "squeak" his old duckie made, it made a rather loud, unpleasant noise when squeezed. Just then, Ernie feels delighted when he actually finds his old Rubber Duckie which turned out to be lying around the apartment all along.
	Cookie Monster's diet	Episode 0232	Cookie Monster tells Ernie that he is going on a diet and won't take his cookies, until Grover tells Cookie that he looks too sick.
	Ernie tries not to wake Bert	Episode 0235	Ernie comes home to a sleeping Bert and tries to think of things to do that won't wake him up. He can't watch TV, and he can't play with his ball. Bored, he decides to take a nap too -- but then he starts to snore. This wakes Bert up, who complains to Ernie. Ernie gets mad at being woken up. (YouTube)
	Cuppycakes	Episode 0235	Ernie has a stack of seven cupcakes that he wants to take a picture of, but Cookie Monster keeps taking cupcakes (which he calls "cuppycakes"). This sketch was included in Learning to Add and Subtract.
	The Case of the Broken Window	Episode 0238	Sherlock Hemlock helps Ernie discover how a window got broken.
	Ernie is special	Episode 0276	Ernie thinks that he isn't special. Bert tells Ernie to feel his nose -- "That's an Ernie nose!" -- and then feel his hair, and wiggle his fingers. Bert says that nobody else is just like Ernie. Encouraged, Ernie tells the audience to do the same. This sketch was included in I'm Glad I'm Me.
File:ErnieBertPizzaGrapeJuice.jpg	Pizza and Grape Juice	Episode 0294	Ernie and Bert have pizza and grape juice. Bert complains that Ernie has more of each, so Ernie tries to make it even by eating some of his pizza and drinking some of his grape juice, but then Bert has more. And so on.
	Ernie plays the drums	Episode 0301	Bert goes out to mail a letter, and depends on Ernie to let him in when he knocks. Instead of letting Bert in, Ernie repeats Bert's knocks on the drums.
	Big, Bigger, Biggest	Episode 0303	Ernie is big, Bert is bigger, and Big Bird is the biggest (and he breaks the ceiling).
	Fish in the cowboy hat	Episode 0305	Ernie tries to put a pot on Bert's head. Bert asks Ernie why he's doing that, and Ernie says that he broke a cookie jar. Ernie has to put the cookies somewhere, so he put them in the sugar bowl – and put the sugar in the flowerpot, which meant that he had to put the flowers in a milk bottle. He put the milk in the soda bottle, and the soda into the fishbowl, and the fish in Bert's cowboy hat. Bert asks, "Now what am I going to wear when I want to play cowboy?" Ernie puts the pot on Bert's head and says, "Ride 'em, cowboy!" This sketch was adapted in the 1977 storybook The Ernie & Bert Book. (YouTube)
	Big Shelf, Little Shelf	Episode 0310	Ernie can't decide which of the two different shelves he should place a large vase on, so Bert tells him to use his imagination. Ernie imagines the vase falling off the little shelf and Bert kicking him out of the apartment. Then, Ernie imagines putting the vase on the big shelf, and Bert rewarding him with a big surprise party.
	Talk Slower	Episode 0323	Ernie approaches Bert in a harried manner, talking rapidly. Bert tells him to talk slower so he can understand him. Ernie says, slowly, that Bert's bread is burning in the oven, which causes Bert to speak in the same rapid, harried manner.
	Present for Bert's Aunt	Episode 0325	Bert has a present for his Aunt Matilda, but Ernie thinks that the present is for him, so he unwraps it.
	Peanut Butter Sandwiches	Episode 0330	Ernie has gone shopping -- buying bread for himself, and peanut butter for Bert. They realize that it's dull to eat what they have separately, and they decide to cooperate, so they can each have a peanut butter sandwich.
	Fixing the Window	Episode 0344	Everything is getting wet, because it's raining and a window is stuck open. But Ernie explains that he can't fix it now because he'd get wet in all that rain. When the rain stops, he explains to Bert that since it's not raining anymore, nothing's getting wet, and there's no reason to fix it.
	Ernie forgets something after his bath	Episode 0347	Ernie comes from finishing his bath, and tells Bert that there's something that he forgot. Bert asks if he's washed behind his ears, his neck, and his elbows. Finally, Ernie remembers that he forgot to turn off the water in the tub -- as the water level rises.
	A special day	Episode 0352	Bert is curious as to whom Ernie is decorating the room for. It turns out to be the viewer at home.
	String on Ernie's fingers	Episode 0355	Ernie has a piece of string on each finger, in order to remind himself that they're all out of string.
	Ernie's important note for Bert	Episode 0355	Ernie has an important note for Bert, but he can't find it. He looks through the trash can for it, and finds the note, which is a reminder that it is Bert's day to clean the apartment.
File:Bert's Purple Hand.JPG	Bert's purple hand	Episode 0514	Bert can't go on a trip with Ernie because his hand has purple paint on it. Ernie puts a mitten on Bert's hand to cover it, but Bert still won't go because he looks silly wearing one mitten. So Ernie completes the outfit with another mitten, a hat, a scarf, and a sled. Ernie then reveals that they are going to the beach.
	Ernie gets Bert warm	Episode 0529	Bert says he's too cold, so Ernie goes overboard to get him warm by putting layer after layer of clothing upon him. This makes him too hot, so Ernie opens the window and brings his electric fan.
	A picture of Bert	Episode 0536	Ernie tells Bert to stand still in front of the camera so that he can "trace" Bert's face on the screen.
	Ernie and Bert divide licorice	Episode 0560	Ernie has a licorice whip that he offers to share with Bert. He divides the licorice in half with a pair of scissors, but then discovers that Bert's half is longer than his. He cuts off a little bit of Bert's half, and eats it. Then he discovers that his own half is longer than Bert's, and that's not fair, so he cuts a bit off of his own, and eats it. Ernie goes back and forth, shaving off more and more, until the licorice whip is gone. Tough Pigs printed a transcript of this sketch, with commentary.
	The Electric Fan	Episode 0573	Bert is trying to write a letter to Mr. Rogers, but finds it difficult when Ernie operates his electric fan right next to him. Bert blows up at Ernie and says he is "hot and bothered," and Ernie has just the thing for that: more cool air.
	Glass of Water	Episode 0669	Ernie keeps taking glasses of water outside the apartment. Bert thinks of possible uses Ernie could have for this water. As it turns out, the kitchen faucet is broken, and Ernie's trying to get rid of the water before the apartment floods.
	Sharing a Banana	Episode 0674	Bert asks Ernie to share a banana with him. Ernie gets the inside of the banana, and gives Bert the peel.
	Statue of Bert	Episode 0677	Ernie makes a clay bust of Bert, but runs out of clay for the nose, so he pulls Bert's nose off and puts it on the statue.
	Cups and saucers	Episode 0677	Ernie stacks cups and saucers in order to count them, making Bert quite nervous. Luckily, they're glued together.
	Painting of Bert	Episode 0683	Ernie is painting a portrait of Bert, but paints Bert with curly hair, glasses and a beard. When Bert gets angry about this, Ernie takes him behind the easel and puts curly hair, glasses and a beard on Bert.
File:Bart.JPG	Bert's brother Bart visits	Episode 0687	Bert expects a visit from his identical twin brother Bart. Ernie notes that they're alike in many ways, but their major difference is that Bart has a sense of humor. (YouTube)
	Bert's Bottlecap collection	Episode 0690	Bert shows off his bottlecap collection to Ernie, who remembers that he found a Figgy Fizz bottle cap -- the very one that Bert needed to complete his collection.
	Ernie's Telephone Call	Episode 0694	Ernie answers the telephone. Bert overhears the conversation, which involves a baseball game, a rainy day, and a gorilla stealing a baloney sandwich. When Bert asks who just called, Ernie says it was a wrong number. This sketch was made into a 1978 storybook, Ernie's Telephone Call.
	Cookie Theif	Episode 0695	Ernie describes a cookie thief that looks like Bert. Cookie Monster hears Ernie's description, and shows up disguised as Bert, stealing the last of Ernie's cookies
	Ernie's Flying Fingers	Episode 0697	Ernie says that he has "flying fingers", and tries to find ten different things that his fingers can do.
	Imaginary Baseball Game	Episode 0706	Ernie is sad, because it's raining and he can't play baseball. Bert encourages him to imagine that he's playing instead. In Ernie's imagination, he hits a high fly ball that lands in the ocean. Bert tells Ernie that the sun is out, and he can go out and play now. Ernie says that he can't play -- his ball fell in the ocean.
	H on TV	Episode 0708	Bert complains when a big letter H appears on the TV screen, so Ernie turns off the set, unplugs it, and takes a bunch of H objects out of the TV (including a hat, a house and a hamster). When he plugs it back in, a big letter I appears on the screen.
	Here or not here	Episode 0715	Bert is reading a book when Ernie startle him by asking if he wants to play checkers. Bert says that he did not think Ernie was here. Ernie starts to search to see if he can find himself.
	Ernie prepares to do the laundry	Episode 0718	Ernie puts everything in his laundry basket minus the laundry.
	Bert is outside of the apartment	Episode 0724	Ernie won't let Bert into the apartment. At first, Bert is sad -- but then he thinks Ernie might be hiding something, which makes him mad. He demands to be let in -- and finds that Ernie has thrown him a surprise party. Guests at the party include Roosevelt Franklin, Herbert Birdsfoot, Prairie Dawn, Sherlock Hemlock, Grover, Guy Smiley, and a Mailman.
	The Q Game	Episode 0727	Ernie asks Bert to play a game where they take turns counting and then saying "Q". Ernie goes first with "1 Q", and Bert follows with "2 Q". The game continues, until Bert gets to "10 Q". "You're welcome, Bert!" Ernie says.
File:E&Btrain.jpg	Ernie's Guess What I am Game	Episode 0728	Ernie pretends to be a dog and a duck. Bert then pretends to be a train, and does it so well that a train conductor and passengers come through the apartment.
	Ernie puts toys into groups	Episode 0731	Bert tells Ernie to put away his toys, and Ernie devises a system of arranging toys. Unfortunately, all the categories he names only apply to his toy fire engine.
	Ernie has Bert pretend to be mad	Episode 0749	Ernie wants Bert to pretend to be mad, but Bert says that he can't, because he has nothing to feel angry about. Ernie asks Bert to pretend that he borrowed Bert's paper clip collection, and lost his favorite paper clip. The thought makes Bert really mad. Bert gets tired out, and tells Ernie that he can't get mad anymore. Ernie makes a confession -- he really did lose Bert's favorite paper clip.
	Sharing a Cookie	Episode 0781	Bert refuses to share his cookie with Ernie, who tells Bert that if the cookie was his, he wouldn't mind sharing. Ernie takes the cookie, and asks Bert to ask him if he would share it.
	Rhyming Game	Episode 0798	Ernie gets Bert to participate in a rhyme game, but Ernie ends the game just as Bert is starting to enjoy it. This sketch was included in Getting Ready To Read.
	Bert's Drum Set	Episode 0801	Bert has acquired some drums, but he doesn't know how to play them well. Ernie teaches him how to make drum playing exciting.
	Going to the Zoo	Episode 0806	Ernie and Bert plan to go to the zoo, but they can't make up their minds. What would happen if Ernie bought a balloon, but then lost it when he gets frightened by a buffalo? Then they remember that the zoo is closed on Wednesdays.
	Chocolate ice cream	Episode 1037	Ernie eats the ice cream that Bert was saving for later. Ernie tries to pass off a smashed up banana with ice and gravy for Bert's chocolate ice cream. Bert doesn't believe it, but then Oscar comes in with two ice cream cones, needing to give one of them away, but then gives them both ice cream cones in exchange for what Ernie made.
	Ernie plays doctor	Episode 1090	Ernie plays doctor and makes Bert be the patient for his check-up. He checks Bert's heart, mouth and more. At the end, Bert wonders how he is feeling, but Ernie can't tell him that until he's a real doctor, 23 years from now. Bert faints after Ernie's answer and Ernie wonders if there's a doctor in the house. (This sketch was included on the video Elmo Visits the Doctor).
	What to paint?	Episode 1446	Ernie and Bert decide to use both Bert's canvas and Ernie's paints to paint a picture of something. Bert wants to paint a bowl of oatmeal, but Ernie wants to paint a purple monster. Finally, they decide to paint a purple monster eating a bowl of oatmeal.
	Sitting	Episode 1646	Bert asks Ernie to help him carry his heavy groceries, but Ernie is too busy thinking about all the things he can do as he sits in a chair: breathing, listening and smelling.
	Bert's 'It'	Episode 1706	Ernie plays a game of tag with Bert, who is reading his book.
	Follow the Arrows	Episode 1709	Ernie has Bert play a "Follow the Arrows" game, which leads him to the main camera, looking at the TV viewer.
	Ernie's Disguise Kit	Episode 2040	Ernie tries to fool Bert with his disguises such as a pirate disguise and a red riding hood disguise, but Bert has recognized him and tells him to stop fooling him. Then a wolf knocks on the door, and Bert is convinced it's Ernie in disguise again. The sketch was adapted as the Golden Book title The Many Faces of Ernie. (YouTube)
	Ernie and Ernestine's differences	Episode 2123	Ernie talks about the differences between himself and his cousin, Ernestine.
File:Sesame Street 9 Get Moving.jpg	Get Moving	Episode 2125	Ernie turns on the radio to hear his favorite exercise show, Get Moving. He engages the viewer to do all the exercises he does, such as touching toes and jumping. Bert joins in, and has so much fun jumping that he doesn't notice that his favorite program, Pigeons in the News, is coming on.
	Four cookies	Episode 2179	Ernie doesn't know what to tell Bert after having accidentally eaten one of his cookies.Bert observes that there are four cookies when there should be five. No matter how Ernie arranges them, they're still four cookies. Since Bert doesn't want to see four cookies, Ernie eats another one, making it three instead of four.
	Sharing a newspaper	Episode 2208	Bert are sitting in his chair and reading the paper. Ernie comes and read over Berts shoulder. They decide to share the paper and Ernie rips it in 2 parts.
	Happy Birthday to U	Episode 2234	Ernie sings "Happy Birthday" to a letter U, which blows out the candle on the cake.
	The drum game	Episode 2256	Ernie plays a game with Bert where Ernie plays riffs on his drum set and Bert has to repeat them back. Bert is surprisingly good at the game.
	Friend watching	Episode 2282	Through his binoculars, Ernie observes Bert reading the newspaper, even though he's closer to Bert than he need be.
	The Feelings Game	Episode 2356	Bert doesn't want to play "The Feelings Game" with Ernie. Ernie expresses both sadness and anger in response to Bert, thus making him a participant in the game after all.
	Sneak Peek Previews	Episode 2403	Ernie and Bert watch Sneak Peek Previews, in which Telly and Oscar review the "Song of Ten." After the show ends, Ernie shocks Bert by carrying a stack of ten chocolate layer cakes.. which turn out to be plastic. Meanwhile, Oscar and Telly peek in E&B's window and argue about whether or not it was a funny joke.
	Ernie tries to scare Bert	Episode 2412	While Bert is reading, Ernie tries to scare him by dressing up as a ghost. When Ernie notices that Bert left his chair while he fetched a white sheet, Ernie sits down in the chair and relaxes, until Bert enters the room and startles him.
	Ernie makes a grocery list	Episode 2477	Bert tells Ernie to make a grocery list, but Ernie can't find anything to write with ... except for chocolate pudding. (Bert: "He's improving. Last time he used spaghetti sauce.")
File:Bae11.JPG	Bert teaches Bernice how to play checkers	Episode 2485	Bert teaches his pigeon, Bernice, how to play checkers. Ernie thinks it's amazing that a pigeon can play checkers, but Bert thinks it is no big deal, because Bernice has only beaten Bert in two out of ten games. This sketch was included in The Best of Ernie and Bert.
	Ernie has a banana in his ear	Episode 2558	Part 1: Ernie is holding a banana in his ear. Bert tries to tell Ernie that he has a banana in his ear, but Ernie can't hear him because he has a banana in his ear. Part 2: Ernie reveals that he has a banana in his ear in order to keep the alligators away. He uses Bert's denial of any alligators on Sesame Street as proof that his method works. Part 3: Ernie pretends his banana is a phone. (This part is often left out.)
	Teaching Ernestine Names	Episode 2615	Ernie can't seem to get Ernestine to say his name, but Ernestine has no trouble saying Bert's name.
	Too much TV	Episode 2881	It's raining outside, and Ernie is watching TV. Bert suggests that instead of watching TV, Ernie could write a story. Ernie gets everything ready for writing a story.
	Headphone	Episode 3193	In order not to disturb Bert while reading, Ernie wears headphones to listen to the radio. Now Bert can't hear anything... except Ernie singing along very loudly.
	Ernie Plays House	Episode 3856	Bert tries to guess which part of the family Ernie is pretending to be - which turns out to be the stove.
	Ernie brings home a surprise	Episode 3938	Ernie brings a surprise home, and he tells Bert to guess what it is. The surprise turns out to be a puppy. Bert wants to call the puppy "Norman"; Ernie suggests "Godzilla the Wonder-Pup".
	Bert and the banana phone (Remake)	Episode 3941	Bert sees Ernie talk to an elephant while using a banana as a phone. Ernie explains to Bert that he is just pretending, but then he tells Bert that the elephant wants to talk to him.
	Bert's hats	Episode 3973	Bert is going to a pigeon convention but can't decide which of two hats he wants to wear to the convention, despite the fact that they are identical.
	Dancing Monsters	Episode 4031	Bert's reading is interrupted by Ernie with a room of monsters dancing in various styles.
	Bert's Birthday	Episode 4034	For Bert's birthday, Ernie invited a singing and dancing elephant, a penguin band, and a group of honkers and dingers into the apartment. When Bert tells him he wants peace and quiet so he can read his book, Ernie leaves him alone - after all, it's his birthday!
	Ernie's Animal Sounds Guessing Game	Episode 4046	Ernie makes a few animal sounds and wants Bert to guess what sounds he is making. Bert just wants to read his book and keeps guessing correctly by accident. Eventually, Ernie decides to agree to stop playing the game and leaves, but then a lion comes in and roars. Bert isn't paying attention and thinks that Ernie is making the animal sounds even though he promised not to.
	Ernie pretends to be Bernice	Episode 4080	Bert's pigeon Bernice can't play with him, so Ernie pretends that he is Bernice. Then Ernie asks Bert to pretend that he is Ernie's Rubber Duckie.
	Frog Count to 100	Episode 4108	Bert tells Ernie that the perfect way to start the day is with a big bowl of oatmeal. But Ernie disagrees, saying that the "perfect" way to start the day is with a frog who can count to 100 by tens. The frog ends up "knee-deep" in Bert's oatmeal. (Frank Oz as Bert)
	How many?	Template:Ebcite	Ernie shows Bert how many legs a dog has, how many legs a table has, and how many eyes a monster has, but Bert denies that the monster has four eyes. Apparently, the four-eyed monster (Beautiful Day Monster, with two extra eyes) shows up proving he indeed has four eyes. (YouTube)
	Ernie meets Simon Soundman	Template:Ebcite	Simon Soundman comes to Ernie's apartment because he has some car trouble and needs to use Ernie's phone, but Ernie doesn't understand what he is trying to say. (This is Simon's debut; the audio for this sketch appears on the Ernie's Hits (LP) album.) (YouTube)
	The TV Chair	Template:Ebcite	Ernie and Bert fight over which one of them gets to sit in the chair to watch TV in, and Herry Monster tricks them into leaving so that he can sit in the chair. (YouTube)
File:ErnieBertRadioKnob.jpg	The Radio Knob	Template:Ebcite	Bert complains about Ernie having the radio volume on too loud. Ernie pulls the knob off the radio and puts it on Bert's stomach, and turns the volume of Bert's voice up and down. (YouTube)
	The Wrong Patient	Template:Ebcite	Ernie's doctor comes over. Ernie keeps trying to tell the doctor why he called him, but the doctor is too occupied with checking on Ernie, hardly allowing Ernie to get a word in edgewise. This sketch was included in The Best of Ernie and Bert.
File:LAS.JPG	Loud and Quiet	Template:Ebcite
File:Camp Winnewonga.JPG	Ernie comes home from camp	Template:Ebcite	Ernie returns home from Camp Winnewonga, to Bert's surprise. Ernie shows Bert all the things he brought back from camp, such as a rock and a bottle cap.
	Ernie Leads the Band	Template:Ebcite	Bert finds it difficult to listen to Pigeons in the News while Ernie and the Sesame Street Citizens' Band are outside practicing. In yet another case of miscommunication between the two, since Bert doesn't like it when they practice outside, Ernie leads the band into the apartment so they can practice inside.
	What's in Ernie's clothes	Template:Ebcite	Ernie is wearing winter gear and asks Bert to guess what is in his gloves and hat. (YouTube)
	Winter Checkers	Template:Ebcite	It's cold outside, so Bert tries to ask Ernie to play a game with him. Ernie keeps bringing winter equipment into the room, thinking Bert wants to play outside. It turns out he just wants to play a game of checkers.
	Ernie's Rollerskate	Template:Ebcite	Bert tells Ernie to put his rollerskate away. Ernie imagines what would happen if Bert would step on it... he would most likely slide out the door, and fetch him an ice cream cone on the way!
	Let Me In	Template:Ebcite	Bert tells Ernie not to open the locked door until he gets back from his shopping trip. After he leaves the apartment, however, he realizes he forgot his money, but no matter what he does, Ernie won't let him in the apartment because he thinks this is practice.
	Ernie sees Mr. Snuffleupagus	Template:Ebcite	Ernie looks out the window and sees Mr. Snuffleupagus. He tells Bert, but when Bert looks out the window, Snuffy is gone. Bert thinks that Ernie is just imagining Mr. Snuffleupagus and tells him about what an imagination is. Then, when Ernie isn't looking, Bert looks out the window and sees Mr. Snuffleupagus, but when he tells Ernie, Snuffy is gone, and Ernie thinks that Bert is imagining things, and Bert is unsure whether he actually saw him or imagined him.
	Heavy and Light	Template:Ebcite	Ernie wants to play a game with Bert about heavy and light. Bert surprisingly wants to play. Ernie shows the audience all the light objects including a tissue, cotton candy and a feather. Bert has to bring in all the heavy objects including a barbell, a boulder and the piano.
	Tea Party	Template:Ebcite	Telly joins Ernie's pretend tea party, for which he invited the Friendly Giant, Cinderella and Super Adventure Boy.
	Toy Box	Template:Ebcite	Ernie puts all his toys away and shows Bert how he remembers where Rubber Duckie is: it's under all his toys!
	Quiet		Ernie tries to do everything quietly while Bert is reading. Bert gets annoyed and shouts at Ernie, so Ernie thinks it's okay to make loud noise again.
	Should I Wake Bert?		Bert is taking a nap in his chair. Ernie sees a pigeon through the window, and wonders if he should wake Bert.
	In and Out	Unaired]	When Bert reads a book called "In and Out", Ernie comes up with an "In and Out" game, where he keeps running in and out through the front door. This sketch has not aired in US version of Sesame Street, but has been seen in international versions. It was most likely recorded sometime between 2000 and 2003. [cite]

Ernie and Bert sketches

Cookie Monster sketches

Kermit the Frog sketches

Grover sketches

Herry Monster sketches

Count von Count sketches

Elmo sketches

Big Bird sketches