Ernie and Bert Sketches: Apartment

Ernie and Bert sketches which take place in their apartment. See also Ernie and Bert Sketches: Nighttime.

1969-1990

Picture	Summary	Earliest Known Appearance	Description
	Ernie in the Bathtub / Everybody Wash	Episode 0001	Part 1: Ernie calls his bathtub "Rosie," because whenever he takes a bath, he leaves a ring around Rosie. Bert waits for his bath. Part 2: Ernie remarks that everyone should take a bath, and sings "Everybody Wash".
	Appliance War	Episode 0003	Ernie and Bert are watching TV, but Bert gets bored and decides to play a record. Ernie tells him to turn down the volume, but Bert won't, so Ernie drowns out Bert's music by playing the radio. Bert then retaliates by turning on the blender. With all four things running at once, they blow a fuse, causing a total blackout. Bert goes to fix the fuse, while Ernie turns off all the things that were running. When the lights are back on, they play cards and apologize.
	Bert's egg	Episode 0003	Ernie finds an egg on the counter. Bert tells him to put it away so he can eat it later. Ernie doesn't understand. Bert sighs, "Just drop it!"... and Ernie does.
	Bert and the banana phone	Episode 0004	Bert hears the phone ringing inside a basket and asks Ernie to answer it. Ernie goes through the basket and finds a banana and pretends it's a phone and gives it to Bert to talk to. Ernie answers the real phone and tells the caller that Bert can't come to the phone, as he's talking on the banana. This sketch was remade in the 2000s.
	The Mysterious Nose-Snatcher	Episode 0005	Bert says that he and Ernie are looking at the "Mysterious Nose-Snatcher." Ernie, disagreeing, walks closer and closer to the camera to see. His face begins to black out the screen...but when he moves back into view, his nose is missing!
	Kiss from a Monster	Episode 0005	Ernie laughs when Alice Braithwaite Goodyshoes says, "Bleah!" after getting kissed by a monster. Bert says that Ernie would react the same way if kissed by a monster. "No, I wouldn't. I'd think it was funny!" says Ernie. Then the Beautiful Day Monster shows up and kisses Ernie, who says, "Bleah!" Bert laughs.
	Ernie's A Machine	Episode 0006	Ernie invents a machine that makes A's -- you turn the crank over here, you push the button on top, and out comes an A. But it doesn't work when it rains -- it only makes A when the sun shines.
	Bert explains the number 4	Episode 0006	Bert has a number 4 in his hand, and asks Ernie what it is. Ernie doesn't know, and guesses that it's a chocolate pie. Bert decides to cut to a film about the number 4, so that Ernie can get a clue. When the clip is over, Ernie makes another guess: a cream pie. "If this is a cream pie, then what is this?" asks Bert, while he pulls out a cream pie. "That's a four!" Ernie grins, and Bert pushes the pie in Ernie's face. "I knew it was a pie," Ernie remarks to the camera, "but who wants to be hit in the face with a number four?"
	Bert Explains "Before" and "After."	Episode 0007	Ernie wants to have some cookies, which are on a covered plate. Bert asks Ernie if he knows the difference between "before" and "after." Ernie isn't sure. Bert explains that before Ernie can have the cookies, he has to lift the cover, and that after he lifts the cover, he can have the cookies. Ernie tries this a few times, until he loses his appetite for dinner.
	Ernie's X Problem / Bacon and X / Ernie Erases Cookie Monster	Episode 0008	Part 1: Ernie is having trouble remembering how to draw the letter X on his blackboard. While crossing things out and playing tic-tac-toe, he unknowingly draws 5 X's, which Bert then points out to him. Part 2: Ernie has made an X of his own and is proudly displaying it. Bert rushes in to say that he was making some bacon, but that a monster ate it. Then Cookie Monster (still unnamed) sneaks in and eats Ernie's X. Ernie catches him and asks, "Why do you do that, monster?" Cookie Monster answers, "I always like to eat bacon and X!" Part 3: While Ernie erases his blackboard, we see a cartoon of a boy erasing things and people as he counts to 10. Part 4: Cookie Monster shows up again. Ernie threatens to erase him if he doesn't leave, and shows him the cartoon of the boy. Part 5: Cookie Monster laughs and refuses to leave, so Ernie erases him.
	Ernie's alphabet story	Episode 0009	Ernie writes a dramatic story, which is actually the alphabet. This sketch was later remade in the 1970s.
	Ernie's "How Many?" Quiz	Episode 0009	Ernie's friend holds a huge card of a dog in front of his head. Ernie asks Bert how many feet the dog has, and Bert says four. Next, Ernie's friend holds up a card of a table. Ernie asks Bert how many legs the table has. Again, Bert says four. Ernie's friend then holds up a card that shows a four-eyed monster. Ernie asks Bert, "How many eyes can you count on this face?" Bert again says four, but adds that "nothing in the world has four eyes and looks like that." Ernie's friend lowers the card, revealing himself to be the Beautiful Day Monster with two extra eyes.
	Ernie Cleans Up	Episode 0010	Part 1: Bert tells Ernie to clean up the messy apartment. Part 2: Ernie has almost finished cleaning up the apartment. His toy box is still a mess, so he begins to clean it out, throwing its contents all over the room. Template:Sketchrelease-SSorg
	Milk and cookies	Episode 0011	Ernie is preparing to have a snack, but he discovers that his milk and cookies keep vanishing. He eventually catches the culprit...
	Ernie's treasure map	Episode 0013	Ernie has a treasure map of the living room, leading to a spot marked with an X. As Bert watches, he digs up a treasure chest with a letter X inside.
	Ernie's R Collection	Episode 0014	Ernie has a collection of R's in a box. He shows Bert, who says that Ernie will be the laughingstock of Sesame Street if anyone else finds out. Ernie sadly throws away his R's -- and Bert asks to have the box for his J collection.
	Ernie and Bert share jellybeans	Episode 0014	Ernie has six jellybeans, and Bert has seven. Bert thanks Ernie for giving him the extra jellybean. Ernie says that isn't fair -- they should have an equal amount. To make it even, Ernie eats the extra jellybean. That's fair, isn't it?
	Ernie's "What Happens Next?" game	Episode 0017	Ernie has some picture cards and asks Bert if he can figure out what happens next.
	Cookie cabinet	Episode 0019	Bert and Ernie try to figure out who owns a cabinet containing cookies. Bert says that the cabinet is his, because he has his first initial, B, on the door. However, the B is spread between two doors, and Ernie opens one door, making it look like an E.
	The Sandbox Game	Episode 0019	After watching the Jazz #8 cartoon, Ernie gets Bert to play a game with him, in which he says, "I one the sandbox"; Bert says "I two the sandbox," and so on until Bert gets to "I eight the sandbox." "How'd it taste?" Ernie asks.
	Ernie talks about his trip to the zoo	Episode 0020	Bert asks Ernie about his day. Ernie doesn't think anything interesting happened. Bert points out that Ernie went to the zoo, but Ernie says nothing interesting happened at the zoo. Then he talks about a scratch he got on his finger, and talks about how he got it, realizing in the process that something interesting did happen after all.
	Through the Hoop	Episode 0023	Ernie demonstrates the word "through" with the help of Beautiful Day Monster and Bert, who holds a hoop.
	Bert's Nose	Episode 0026	Ernie holds a hanky while Bert sneezes -- and Bert's nose comes off in Ernie's hand. Ernie teases Bert by putting his nose back in the wrong places.
	Bert's Nap	Episode 0027	As Bert takes a nap, Ernie tells the viewer how he knows that Bert is asleep... thus waking Bert up, just to tell him it's time for his nap.
	What Happened Here?	Episode 0030	Ernie shows drawings to Bert, and Bert has to guess what happened. Ernie has a drawing of an empty bird cage with an open door (the bird flew away), and a man lying on the ground with a banana peel next to him (he slipped on it). Then Ernie shows Bert an empty page. The answer to that one is that there was a cow eating grass, but the grass is all eaten now and the cow went home.
	Ernie's ice cubes	Episode 0033	Ernie wants to show Bert his ice-cube collection. The ice cubes were so cold that he had put them in a box covered with an electric blanket. Much to Ernie's surprise, the ice cubes have disappeared. Since they were replaced with water, Ernie suspects that a fish might have stolen them. Bert tells him that it's because they've melted. Ernie, however, is now convinced that a fish melted the ice cubes, and angrily walks out the door to "tear him fin-from-fin."
	Ernie cleans the apartment in 15 seconds	Episode 0033	Bert tells Ernie that if he can clean the messy apartment in less than 15 seconds, he will give Ernie his dessert, ice cream and cookies.
	Ernie's Nap	Episode 0035	During Ernie's naptime, Cookie Monster tries to steal and eat Ernie's pillow by distracting him with a bell.
	Beautiful Day Monster steals Bert's cookies	Episode 0041	Ernie struggles to save a plate of cookies for Bert. Beautiful Day Monster disguises himself as a baker and a little girl to trick Ernie out of four of the five cookies, but Bert blames Ernie.
	Ernie interrupts Bert reading the newspaper	Episode 0042	Ernie has a question, but decides to wait until Bert is done reading the newspaper. Ernie hums and talks to Rubber Duckie until Bert gives up reading the paper in exasperation. Then Ernie asks his question: Can he borrow the newspaper?
	Bert's "What Happens Next?" game	Episode 0056	Bert shows Ernie pictures and he needs to tell what happens next. Ernie tells Bert some very imaginative stories based on the pictures. For the last picture (a man about to drive his car over a nail), Ernie says, "I think a monster's going to appear". Sure enough, behind Bert's back, Cookie Monster appears: "Can I have a cookie?"
	Two Noses	Episode 0061	"Let's see," says Ernie. "We've got two eyes, and two ears, and two noses..." "Hey, you ding-a-ling!" Bert interrupts. "You only got one nose!" Ernie promptly pulls Bert's nose off, sticks it to his own face, and keeps counting. "Two noses, and two eyes, and two ears ... too bad!" This sketch was originally recorded for the test pilot.
File:ErnieCMPhone.jpg	Cookie Monster on Ernie's phone	Episode 0064	Part 1: Ernie's expecting a call from Bert, but Cookie Monster needs to use the phone. Parts 2 and 3: Ernie impatiently waits for Cookie Monster to finish. Part 4: Cookie Monster finally hangs up the phone, and he "thanks" Ernie by eating it. Then Bert calls.
	Newspaper Expedition	Episode 0093	Ernie refuses to take his turn to go for the newspaper. He tricks Bert into going to Hooper's Store in his place.
	Ernie dusts the shelf	Episode 0094	It's Ernie's turn to dust the shelf. Bert complains that Ernie always stalls , Ernie is trying to remember what he should do before he dusts the shelf. Bert tells Ernie to dust the shelf, Ernie does and the toys fall.
	Cookie Reminder	Episode 0095	Bert wants to know why there is a cookie lying on the table. Ernie explains that he put it there to remind himself.
	Ernie, the world's greatest counter	Episode 0107	Ernie proclaims himself to be the world's greatest counter, yet he counts very slowly, and starts all over again if Bert interrupts him.
	Ernie eats Bert's cake	Episode 0119	Ernie eats the cake that Bert was planning to eat. Bert sees some icing on Ernie's mouth, a bib around his neck, and a fork and knife in Ernie's hand, and Ernie tells Bert that a monster came in, ate Bert's cake, and put the evidence on Ernie. Bert doesn't believe Ernie's lie and gets another piece of cake, but when he leaves the room, Beautiful Day Monster comes in and does exactly what Ernie told Bert happened to the first piece. Ernie tries to explain, but Bert doesn't believe him. Template:Sketchrelease-SSorg
	Doctor Ernie	Episode 0124	Ernie asks Bert to go play in the park with him. When Bert says no, Ernie wonders if he isn't feeling well and starts to examine him.
	Who took Bert's cookies?	Episode 0158	Bert thinks that Ernie has eaten his cookies, but it turns out that Cookie Monster (dressed as Ernie) ate the cookies.
	Table Manners	Episode 0182	Ernie tries to teach a Cookie Monster to use his knife, fork, and spoon.
	Ernie's Lost Rubber Duckie	Episode 0192	Part 1: A disconsolate Ernie tells Oscar the Grouch that he's lost his Rubber Duckie. Oscar tries to calm Ernie down, and says that he'll buy Ernie another duckie. Ernie says he can't -- Rubber Duckie is special and unique. He tells Oscar that Rubber Duckie is "cute, adorable, sweet, cuddly, and makes a wonderful sound." Oscar tells Ernie that he'll bring him a new Duckie. Part 2: Oscar comes back with a new Duckie, but this one is different -- it's a Grouch duckie. They realize that they have different ideas of what is cute and ugly. Ernie thanks Oscar for trying to help -- and when he sits down, he hears a familiar squeak. He digs through the stuff on the floor and finds his Rubber Duckie! Ernie and Oscar argue over which of their toys is the cutest.
	Matching Gloves and Shoes	Episode 0204	Cookie Monster helps Ernie match mittens, shoes and gloves and put them away.
	Cookie Monster's diet	Episode 0232	Cookie Monster tells Ernie that he is going on a diet and won't take his cookies, until Grover tells Cookie that he looks sick.
	Ernie tries not to wake Bert	Episode 0235	Ernie comes home to a sleeping Bert and tries to think of things to do that won't wake him up. He can't watch TV, and he can't play with his ball. Bored, he decides to take a nap too -- but then he starts to snore. This wakes Bert up, who complains to Ernie. Ernie gets mad at being woken up.
	Cuppycakes	Episode 0235	Ernie has a stack of seven cupcakes that he wants to take a picture of, but Cookie Monster keeps taking cupcakes (which he calls "cuppycakes").
	The Case of the Broken Window	Episode 0238	Sherlock Hemlock helps Ernie discover how his window got broken. Ernie finds that the only evidence is a baseball, and together with Sherlock Hemlock try to find out how who broke Ernie's window.It turns out that Sherlock Hemlock, of the Sesame Street Sluggers hit a home-run which caused the baseball to go through the window.
	Ernie has Bert pretend to be mad	Episode 0267	Ernie wants Bert to pretend to be mad, but Bert says that he can't, because he has nothing to feel angry about. Ernie asks Bert to pretend that he borrowed Bert's paper clip collection, and lost his favorite paper clip. The thought makes Bert really mad. Bert gets tired out, and tells Ernie that he can't get mad anymore. Ernie makes a confession -- he really did lose Bert's favorite paper clip. Template:Sketchrelease-SSorg
	Ernie prepares for his bath	Episode 0269	Ernie brings an umbrella, a flashlight, and a bowling ball to the bathtub, just in case the electricity goes out, the roof leaks, and somebody shows up asking to borrow a bowling ball. Bert thinks that Ernie is being ridiculous -- but everything happens, just as Ernie predicted. Template:Sketchrelease-SSorg
	Going to the Zoo	Episode 0271	Ernie and Bert plan to go to the zoo, but they can't make up their minds. What would happen if Ernie bought a balloon, but then lost it when he gets frightened by a buffalo? Then they remember that the zoo is closed on Wednesdays.
	Bert's Bottlecap collection	Episode 0272	Bert shows off his bottlecap collection to Ernie, who remembers that he found a Figgy Fizz bottle cap -- the very one that Bert needed to complete his collection.
	Here or not here	Episode 0274	Bert is reading a book when Ernie startles him by asking if he wants to play checkers. Bert says, "I thought maybe you weren't here!" Ernie starts to search to see if he can find himself.
	Ernie is special	Episode 0276	Ernie thinks that he isn't special. Bert tells Ernie to feel his nose -- "That's an Ernie nose!" -- and then feel his hair, and wiggle his fingers. Bert says that nobody else is just like Ernie. Encouraged, Ernie tells the audience to do the same.
	Ernie forgets something after his bath	Episode 0277	Ernie comes from finishing his bath, and tells Bert that there's something that he forgot. Bert asks if he's washed behind his ears, his neck, and his elbows. Finally, Ernie remembers that he forgot to turn off the water in the tub -- as the water level rises. Template:Sketchrelease-SSorg
	Fish in the cowboy hat	Episode 0279	Ernie tries to put a pot on Bert's head. Bert asks Ernie why he's doing that, and Ernie says that he broke a cookie jar. Ernie has to put the cookies somewhere, so he put them in the sugar bowl – and put the sugar in the flowerpot, which meant that he had to put the flower in a milk bottle. He put the milk in the soda bottle, and the soda into the fishbowl, and the fish in Bert's cowboy hat. Bert asks, "Now what am I going to wear when I want to play cowboy?" Ernie puts the pot on Bert's head and says, "Ride 'em, cowboy, Bert!"
	Ernie plays the drums	Episode 0280	Bert goes out to mail a letter, and depends on Ernie to let him in when he knocks. Instead of letting Bert in, Ernie repeats Bert's knocks on the drums. Template:Sketchrelease-SSorg
	Talk Slower	Episode 0288	Ernie approaches Bert in a harried manner, talking rapidly. Bert tells him to talk slower so he can understand him. Ernie says, slowly, that Bert's toast is burning, which causes Bert to speak in the same rapid, harried manner.
File:ErnieBertPizzaGrapeJuice.jpg	Pizza and Grape Juice	Episode 0294	Ernie and Bert have pizza and grape juice. Bert complains that Ernie has more of each, so Ernie tries to make it even by eating some of his pizza and drinking some of his grape juice, but then Bert has more. And so on. Template:Sketchrelease-SSorg
	Tall, Taller, Tallest	Episode 0303	Ernie is tall, Bert taller, and Big Bird is the tallest (and he also breaks the ceiling).
	Big Shelf, Little Shelf	Episode 0310	Ernie can't decide which of the two different shelves he should place a large vase on, so Bert tells him to use his imagination. Ernie imagines the vase falling off the little shelf and Bert kicking him out of the apartment. Then, Ernie imagines putting the vase on the big shelf, and Bert rewarding him with a big surprise party.
	Present for Bert's Aunt	Episode 0325	Bert has a present for his Aunt Matilda, but Ernie thinks that the present is for him, so he unwraps it.
	Peanut Butter Sandwiches	Episode 0330	Ernie has gone shopping -- buying bread for himself, and peanut butter for Bert. They realize that it's dull to eat what they have separately, and they decide to cooperate, so they can each have a peanut butter sandwich.
	Fixing the Window	Episode 0344	Everything is getting wet, because it's raining and a window is stuck open. But Ernie explains that he can't fix it now because he'd get wet in all that rain. When the rain stops, he explains to Bert that since it's not raining anymore, nothing's getting wet, and there's no reason to fix it.
	A special day	Episode 0352	Bert is curious as to whom Ernie is decorating the room for. It turns out to be the viewer at home. Template:Sketchrelease-SSorg
	String on Ernie's fingers	Episode 0355	Ernie has a piece of string on each finger, in order to remind himself that they're all out of string.
	Ernie's important note for Bert	Episode 0355	Ernie has an important note for Bert, but he can't find it. He looks through the trash can for it, and finds the note, which is a reminder that it is Bert's day to clean the apartment.
File:Bert's Purple Hand.JPG	Bert's purple hand	Episode 0514	Bert can't go on a trip with Ernie because his hand has purple paint on it. Ernie puts a mitten on Bert's hand to cover it, but Bert still won't go because he looks silly wearing one mitten. So Ernie completes the outfit with another mitten, a hat, a scarf, and a sled. Ernie then reveals that they are going to the beach. Template:Sketchrelease-SSorg
	Ernie gets Bert warm	Episode 0529	Bert says he's too cold, so Ernie goes overboard to get him warm by putting layer after layer of clothing upon him. This makes him too hot, so Ernie opens the window and brings his electric fan.
	A picture of Bert	Episode 0536	Ernie tells Bert to stand still in front of the camera so that he can trace Bert's face on the screen.
	Ernie and Bert divide licorice	Episode 0560	Ernie has a licorice whip that he offers to share with Bert. He divides the licorice in half with a pair of scissors, but then discovers that Bert's half is longer than his. He cuts off a little bit of Bert's half, and eats it. Then he discovers that his own half is longer than Bert's, and that's not fair, so he cuts a bit off of his own, and eats it. Ernie goes back and forth, shaving off more and more, until the licorice whip is gone. Commentary: Tough Pigs.
	The Electric Fan	Episode 0573	Bert is trying to write a letter to Mr. Rogers, but finds it difficult when Ernie operates his electric fan right next to him. Bert blows up at Ernie and says he is "hot and bothered," and Ernie has just the thing for that: more cool air. .
	Glass of Water	Episode 0669	Ernie keeps taking glasses of water outside the apartment. Bert thinks of possible uses Ernie could have for this water. As it turns out, the kitchen faucet is broken, and Ernie's trying to get rid of the water before the apartment floods.
	Bert is Sick	Episode 0673	Ernie has heard that somebody in the neighborhood is sick. He looks in a medical book to find out how to tell if someone is sick... not realizing that Bert is the one with a cold.
	Sharing a Banana	Episode 0674	Bert asks Ernie to share a banana with him. Ernie gets the inside of the banana, and gives Bert the peel.
	Statue of Bert	Episode 0677	Ernie makes a clay bust of Bert, but runs out of clay for the nose, so he pulls Bert's nose off and puts it on the statue.
	Cups and saucers	Episode 0677	Ernie stacks cups and saucers in order to count them, making Bert quite nervous. Luckily, they're glued together.
	Painting of Bert	Episode 0683	Ernie is painting a portrait of Bert, but paints Bert with curly hair, glasses and a beard. When Bert gets angry about this, Ernie takes him behind the easel and puts curly hair, glasses and a beard on Bert.
File:Bart.JPG	Bert's brother Bart visits	Episode 0687	Bert expects a visit from his identical twin brother Bart. Ernie notes that they're alike in many ways, but their major difference is that Bart has a sense of humor.
File:DM6.JPG	Dr. Monster	Episode 0691	Cookie Monster asks Ernie if he has any cookies. Ernie says that he doesn't have any cookies but an apple and he can't give the apple to him because "an apple a day will keep the doctor away." Later Cookie Monster comes disguised as Doctor Monster and gives Ernie a medical checkup. After the checkup, Ernie asks what he owes Doctor Monster. By sheer coincidence, his bill is one apple.
	Ernie's Telephone Call	Episode 0694	Ernie answers the telephone. Bert overhears the conversation, which involves a baseball game, a rainy day, and a gorilla stealing a baloney sandwich. When Bert asks who just called, Ernie says it was a wrong number.
	Ernie's Flying Fingers	Episode 0697	Ernie says that he has "flying fingers", and tries to find ten different things that his fingers can do.
File:Hat.JPG	Which Hat Will Fit?	Episode 0704	Ernie purchases a straw hat for Bert, and asks Cookie Monster which box the hat will go in.
	Imaginary Baseball Game	Episode 0706	Ernie is sad, because it's raining and he can't play baseball. Bert encourages him to imagine that he's playing instead. In Ernie's imagination, he hits a high fly ball that lands in the ocean. Bert tells Ernie that the sun is out, and he can go out and play now. Ernie says that he can't play -- his ball fell in the ocean.
	H on TV	Episode 0708	Bert complains when a big letter H appears on the TV screen, so Ernie turns off the set, unplugs it, and takes a bunch of H objects out of the TV (including a hat, a house and a hamster). When he plugs it back in, a big letter I appears on the screen.
	Ernie prepares to do the laundry	Episode 0718	Ernie puts everything in his laundry basket minus the laundry.
	Bert is outside of the apartment	Episode 0724	Ernie won't let Bert into the apartment. At first, Bert is sad -- but then he thinks Ernie might be hiding something, which makes him mad. He demands to be let in -- and finds that Ernie has thrown him a surprise party. Guests at the party include Roosevelt Franklin, Herbert Birdsfoot, Prairie Dawn, Sherlock Hemlock, Grover, Guy Smiley, and a Mailman. Template:Sketchrelease-SSorg
	The Q Game	Episode 0727	Ernie asks Bert to play a game where they take turns counting and then saying "Q". Ernie goes first with "1 Q", and Bert follows with "2 Q". The game continues, until Bert gets to "10 Q". "You're welcome, Bert!" Ernie says.
	Ernie's Guess What I Am Game	Episode 0728	Ernie pretends to be a dog and a duck. Bert then pretends to be a train, and does it so well that a train conductor and passengers come through the apartment. Template:Sketchrelease-SSorg
	Ernie puts toys into groups	Episode 0731	Bert tells Ernie to put away his toys, and Ernie devises a system of arranging toys. Unfortunately, all the categories he names apply only to his toy fire engine.
	Sharing a Cookie	Episode 0781	Bert refuses to share his cookie with Ernie, who tells Bert that if the cookie was his, he wouldn't mind sharing. Ernie takes the cookie, and asks Bert to ask him if he would share it.
	Rhyming Game	Episode 0798	Ernie gets Bert to participate in a rhyme game, but Ernie ends the game just as Bert is starting to enjoy it.
	Bert's Drum Set	Episode 0801	Bert has acquired some drums, but he doesn't know how to play them well. Ernie teaches him how to make drum playing exciting.
	Four cookies	Episode 0872	Ernie eats one of Bert's cookies, and doesn't know what to tell him. Bert observes that there are four cookies when there should be five. No matter how Ernie arranges them, there are still four cookies. Since Bert doesn't want to see four cookies, Ernie eats another one, making it three instead of four.
File:LAS.JPG	Quiet and Loud	Episode 0882	Bert says that he's going to demonstrate quiet by talking quietly to Ernie. But when he tries, Ernie claims that he can't hear what Bert is saying. Finally, Bert gets frustrated and shouts at Ernie; Ernie tells Bert not to be so loud.
	The TV Chair	Episode 0898	Ernie and Bert fight over which one of them gets to sit in the chair to watch TV in, and Herry Monster tricks them into leaving so that he can sit in the chair. Template:Sketchrelease-SSorg
	Get Moving	Episode 1025	Ernie turns on the radio to hear his favorite exercise show, Get Moving. He engages the viewer to do all the exercises he does, such as touching toes and jumping. Bert joins in, and has so much fun jumping that he doesn't notice that his favorite program, Pigeons in the News, is coming on.
	Bert Is "It"	Episode 1026	Ernie plays a game of tag with Bert, who is reading his book.
	Chocolate ice cream	Episode 1037	Ernie eats the ice cream that Bert was saving for later. Ernie tries to pass off a smashed up banana with ice and gravy for Bert's chocolate ice cream. Bert doesn't believe it, but then Oscar comes in with two ice cream cones, needing to give one of them away, but then gives them both ice cream cones in exchange for what Ernie made.
	Ernie plays doctor	Episode 1090	Ernie plays doctor and makes Bert be the patient for his check-up. He checks Bert's heart, mouth and more. At the end, Bert wonders how he is feeling, but Ernie can't tell him that until he's a real doctor, twenty-three years from now. Bert faints after Ernie's answer and Ernie wonders if there's a doctor in the house.
	Sharing a Pie	Episode 1396	Ernie has two slices of apple pie. He takes the big piece, and gives Bert the small piece. Bert takes offense to this, saying that he would have given Ernie the big piece and kept the small piece for himself - but the outcome is the same, so what's Bert angry about?
	What to paint?	Episode 1446	Ernie and Bert decide to use both Bert's canvas and Ernie's paints to paint a picture of something. Bert wants to paint a bowl of oatmeal, but Ernie wants to paint a purple monster. Finally, they decide to paint a purple monster eating a bowl of oatmeal.
	Brad's bath	Episode 1563	It's time for Bert to give his nephew, Brad, a bath, but Ernie thinks the tub needs some toys, and puts so many toys in the tub that there is no room for Brad to take a bath. Template:Sketchrelease-SSorg
	Bed Making Cooperation	Episode 1708	Ernie notices that on his bed which Bert is preparing, there is one side where the blanket is shorter than the other. Bert suggests that Ernie and him cooperate while making the blanket even on both sides, in the process the blanket is shorter at one side than the other.
	Follow the Arrows	Episode 1709	Ernie has Bert play a "Follow the Arrows" game, which leads him to the main camera, looking at the TV viewer.
	Ernie's Disguise Kit	Episode 2040	Ernie tries to fool Bert with his disguises such as a pirate disguise and a red riding hood disguise, but Bert has recognized him and tells him to stop fooling him. Then a wolf knocks on the door, and Bert is convinced it's Ernie in disguise again.
	Ernie and Ernestine's differences	Episode 2123	Ernie talks about the differences between himself and his cousin, Ernestine.
	Sharing a newspaper	Episode 2208	Bert are sitting in his chair and reading the paper. Ernie comes and read over Berts shoulder. They decide to share the paper and Ernie rips it in two parts.
	Friend watching	Episode 2282	Through his binoculars, Ernie observes Bert reading his book, even though he's closer to Bert than he need be.
	Ernie brings home a surprise	Episode 2292	Ernie brings a surprise home, and he tells Bert to guess what it is. The surprise turns out to be a puppy. Bert wants to call the puppy Norman; Ernie suggests Godzilla the Wonder-Dog.
	The Feelings Game	Episode 2356	Bert doesn't want to play "The Feelings Game" with Ernie. Ernie expresses both sadness and anger in response to Bert, thus making him a participant in the game after all.
	Ernie makes a grocery list	Episode 2477	Bert tells Ernie to make a grocery list, but Ernie can't find anything to write with ... except for chocolate pudding. (Bert: "He's improving. Last time he used spaghetti sauce.")
	Ernie is Alone	Episode 2482	Ernie realizes that Bert's not home, and that he can do whatever he wants. He acts out a typical scenario in which he plays the radio loud and Bert tells him to turn it down ... but it doesn't feel the same without Bert around.
	Bert teaches Bernice how to play checkers	Episode 2485	Bert teaches his pigeon, Bernice, how to play checkers. Ernie thinks it's amazing that a pigeon can play checkers, but Bert thinks it is no big deal, because Bernice has only beaten Bert in two out of ten games. Template:Sketchrelease-SSorg
	Ernie has a banana in his ear	Episode 2558	Part 1: Ernie is holding a banana in his ear. Bert tries to tell Ernie that he has a banana in his ear, but Ernie can't hear him because he has a banana in his ear. Part 2: Ernie reveals that he has a banana in his ear in order to keep the alligators away. He uses Bert's denial of any alligators on Sesame Street as proof that his method works. Part 3: Ernie pretends his banana is a phone. (This part is often left out.)Template:Sketchrelease-SSorg
	Winter Checkers	Episode 2608	It's cold outside, so Bert tries to ask Ernie to play a game with him. Ernie keeps bringing winter equipment into the room, thinking Bert wants to play outside. It turns out he just wants to play a game of checkers.
	Teaching Ernestine Names	Episode 2615	Ernie can't seem to get Ernestine to say his name, but Ernestine has no trouble saying Bert's name.
	Bert feels sad	Episode 2621	Ernie notices that Bert is feeling sad, but Bert doesn't know why. Ernie thinks it's odd for Bert to be sad for no reason, and comes up with reasons why someone should be sad. Bert feels better after hearing this (and that there's no reason for him to feel sad), but Ernie's last idea (missing your best friend after he's moved) ends up making Ernie feel terrible.
	Bert copies the drums	Episode 2691	Ernie plays a game with Bert where Ernie plays riffs on his drum set and Bert has to repeat them back. Bert is surprisingly good at the game.
	Sitting	Episode 2727	Bert asks Ernie to help him carry his heavy groceries, but Ernie is too busy thinking about all the things he can do as he sits in a chair: breathing, listening and smelling.
	Ernie's alphabet story (remake)	Episode 2789	Ernie writes a dramatic story that is actually the alphabet
	Heavy and Light	Episode 3036	Ernie wants to play a game with Bert about heavy and light. Bert surprisingly wants to play. Ernie shows the audience all the light objects including a tissue, cotton candy and a feather. Bert has to bring in all the heavy objects including a barbell, a boulder and the piano.
	The Opposite Game	Episode 3055	Against Bert's will, Ernie plays a game with him in which he says a word which is the opposite of every word Bert emphasizes. When Bert finally agrees to PLAY, Ernie becomes stumped, since he can't figure out of the opposite of the word PLAY.
	Weighing cherries	Episode 3159	Ernie tries to use a scale to divide the cherries evenly, but he characteristically eats them all. Bert screams and faints.
	Happy Birthday to U	Episode 3192	Ernie sings "Happy Birthday" to a letter U, which blows out the candle on the cake.
	What's in Ernie's clothes	Episode 3788	Ernie is wearing winter gear, and asks Bert to guess what is in his gloves and hat.
	The Wrong Patient		Ernie's doctor comes over. Ernie keeps trying to tell the doctor why he called him, but the doctor is too occupied with checking on Ernie, hardly allowing Ernie to get a word in edgewise.
	The Radio Knob		Bert complains about Ernie having the radio volume on too loud. Ernie pulls the knob off the radio and puts it on Bert's stomach, and turns the volume of Bert's voice up and down.
	Ernie meets Simon Soundman		Simon Soundman comes to Ernie's apartment because he has some car trouble and needs to use Ernie's phone, but Ernie doesn't understand what he is trying to say.
	Ernie comes home from camp		Ernie returns home from Camp Winnewonga, to Bert's surprise. Ernie shows Bert all the things he brought back from camp, such as some rocks and a paper clip.
	Too much TV		It's raining outside, and Ernie is watching TV. Bert suggests that instead of watching TV, Ernie could write a story. Ernie gets everything ready for writing a story.
	Pigeon Party		Bert gets all dressed up for the Pigeon Lover's Party, but he looks so different that Ernie doesn't believe that it's him.
	Watching Fish		Ernie wants to go outside and play catch, but Bert gets him interested in watching his goldfish.
	Bert's Telephone		While Ernie finishes his converstation with Grover on the telephone, Bert comes inside with a package containing an antique telphone because he won't have to wait for Ernie to finish his turn using the phone.
	Ernie leads the band		Bert finds it difficult to listen to Pigeons in the News while Ernie and the Sesame Street Citizens' Band are outside practicing. In yet another case of miscommunication between the two, since Bert doesn't like it when they practice outside, Ernie leads the band into the apartment so they can practice inside.
	Life Without Bert		After Bert gets mad at Ernie, Ernie imagines what life would be like without Bert.
	Ernie tries to scare Bert		While Bert is reading, Ernie tries to scare him by dressing up as a ghost. When Ernie notices that Bert left his chair while he fetched a white sheet, Ernie sits down in the chair and relaxes, until Bert enters the room and startles him.
	Ernie Prepares for a Flood at the Library		Ernie is planning to go to the library, when he hears on the radio that it might rain. So he gets out his umbrella, and puts on his raincoat, rain hat, and galoshes. Then, in case it floods, he takes a bag of groceries and a life preserver. Finally, he makes Bert go to the library with him, so he won't be stranded in the flood without him.
	Ernie's Rollerskate		Bert tells Ernie to put his rollerskate away. Ernie imagines what would happen if Bert would step on it... he would most likely slide out the door, and fetch him an ice cream cone on the way!
	Bert Almost Shops for Dinner		Bert tells Ernie not to open the locked door until he gets back from his shopping trip. After he leaves the apartment, however, he realizes he forgot his money, but no matter what he does, Ernie won't let him in the apartment because he thinks this is practice. Template:Sketchrelease-SSorg
	Sneak Peek Previews		Ernie and Bert watch "Sneak Peek Previews", in which Telly Monster and Oscar the Grouch review the "Song of Ten." After the show ends, Ernie shocks Bert by carrying a stack of ten chocolate layer cakes... which turn out to be plastic. Oscar and Telly peek through the apartment window and argue about whether or not Ernie's joke was funny.

Post-1990

Picture	Summary	Earliest Known Appearance	Description
	Ernie Walks Forwards and Backwards	Episode 3699	While Bert is trying to read a book about pigeons, Ernie practices walking backwards and always bumps into Bert when he does. To solve this problem, Ernie pushes Bert's chair (with Bert in it) out of the apartment.
	Discovery of Air	Episode 3751	Bert is reading a book about air, and tells Ernie that air moves things. Ernie decides to verify that with his electric fan, which blows Bert's book away - so that Bert can play baseball with Ernie.
	Headphones	Episode 3781	In order not to disturb Bert while reading, Ernie wears headphones to listen to the radio. Now Bert can't hear anything... except Ernie singing along very loudly.
	Ernie Plays House	Episode 3856	Bert tries to guess which part of the family Ernie is pretending to be -- which turns out to be the stove.
	Toy Box	Episode 3882	Ernie puts all his toys away and shows Bert how he remembers where Rubber Duckie is: he's under all his toys!
	Tea Party	Episode 3886	Telly joins Ernie's pretend tea party, for which he invited the Friendly Giant, Cinderella and Super Adventure Boy.
	Bert and the banana phone (remake)	Episode 3899	Bert sees Ernie talk to an elephant while using a banana as a phone. Ernie explains to Bert that he is just pretending, but then he tells Bert that the elephant wants to talk to him. Note: Bert's line after he tells Gladys that he's tall and blonde is cut in the Play With Me Sesame version: "I don't think we should meet, no." Template:Sketchrelease-SSorg Video: Imagine with Me}}
	Magnet	Episode 3972	Bert shows Ernie a way to pick up paperclips without using his figners: By using a magnet! However, Ernie points out that Bert used his fingers to pick up the magnet.
	Bert's hats	Episode 3973	Bert is going to a pigeon convention but can't decide which of two hats he wants to wear to the convention, despite the fact that they are identical.
	Hola	Episode 4000	Ernie practices saying "Hola" as he repeatedly opens and shuts the door. To make him stop, Bert convinces him he's mastered it. Ernie starts to practice saying adiós instead.
	Dancing Monsters	Episode 4031	Bert's reading is interrupted by Ernie with a room of monsters dancing in various styles.
	Bert's Birthday	Episode 4034	For Bert's birthday, Ernie invited a singing and dancing elephant, a penguin band, and a group of honkers and dingers into the apartment. When Bert tells him he wants peace and quiet so he can read his book, Ernie leaves him alone -- after all, it's his birthday!
	Guess That Animal Sound	Episode 4046	Ernie makes a few animal sounds and wants Bert to guess what sounds he is making. Bert just wants to read his book and keeps guessing correctly by accident. Eventually, Ernie decides to agree to stop playing the game and leaves, but then a lion comes in and roars. Bert isn't paying attention and thinks that Ernie is making the animal sounds even though he promised not to.
	Ernie pretends to be Bernice	Episode 4080	Bert's pigeon Bernice can't play with him, so Ernie pretends that he is Bernice. Then Ernie asks Bert to pretend that he is Ernie's Rubber Duckie.
	Guess What Next Game	Episode 4100	Bert tries to play a “Guess What Next” pattern game with Ernie with paper clips and bottle caps. Then Ernie plays the game with Bert using sheeps, chickens, and a cow.
	Frog Count to 100	Episode 4108	Bert tells Ernie that the perfect way to start the day is with a big bowl of oatmeal. But Ernie disagrees, saying that the "perfect" way to start the day is with a frog who can count to 100 by tens. The frog ends up "knee-deep" in Bert's oatmeal. (Frank Oz as Bert)
	"In My Book"	Episode 4120	Ernie invites Bert to play ball, but Bert prefers to read instead. He sings "In My Book", and soon finds himself clustered around by Ernie and all the characters referenced in his song.
	Quiet		Ernie tries to do everything quietly while Bert is reading. Bert gets annoyed and shouts at Ernie, so Ernie thinks it's okay to make loud noise again.
	Out and In		When Bert reads a book called "Out and In", Ernie comes up with a game, where he keeps running in and out through the front door. When he doesn't come back in the last time, Bert goes out looking for him, not realizing that Ernie came back in the back door.
	Big and Small		Ernie wants to talk about big and small, so naturally he recruits Bert to help. He suits him up with a hat too big for his head while Ernie wears one that's too small. Ernie picks up a tiny box and asks Bert to get the one off-screen which is so big that Bert has trouble carrying it. Finally, Bert wants to demonstrate small this time, so Ernie gives him a bite-sized cookie, only to walk away with an enormous cookie for himself.

See also

Ernie and Bert sketches

Cookie Monster sketches

Kermit the Frog sketches

Grover sketches

Herry Monster sketches

Count von Count sketches

Elmo sketches

Big Bird sketches