|Lyrics by||Emily Perl Kingsley|
The song was originally written to be performed in Season 22 by Tyne Daly, who was starring in Gypsy on Broadway at the time. However, Jule Styne, composer for the musical, wasn't pleased with his work being parodied. The song was shelved and Daly was given another song to perform ("Different" with Prairie Dawn). When Gypsy was revived in 2003, the song was brought up again and offered to Bernadette Peters (starring in the musical at the time), who declined at the request of her vocal coach. Harvey Fierstein was then brought in to perform the song.
- Puppeteers in this number include Joey Mazzarino, Carmen Osbahr, Stephanie D'Abruzzo, Martin P. Robinson and Tyler Bunch.