Two Muppets, Tommy and Fred, appeared in ads for Kern's Bakery in the late-1960s. 24 ten-second ads were produced in 1965 and 1966, and they aired from 1966 to 1969. Structurally, these ads were very similar to the Wilkins Coffee ads, and some are direct remakes, as were many of the commercials produced by Muppets, Inc. for local markets during this period.

Title list

Kerns.JPG

Tommy showing Fred that "A house is not a home without Kern's Bread!"

  • Astronaut
Tommy asks astronaut Fred, who is aboard a rocket ship, if he has any Kern's Bread on board. Fred replies that he does not. Upon liftoff, the rocket stays grounded, but Tommy's bag of Kern's Bread rockets upward, launching him into space with it. Fred says to himself, "Kern's Bread really is out of this world."
  • Everybody
  • Exploding Brand X
Tommy explains the difference between Kern's Bread and Brand X: Kern's Bread doesn't blow up.
  • Foot Down
Tommy tells the viewers that his friend Fred will tell them how much he likes Kern's Bread. Fred asks him what Mr. Kern will do if he refuses, and gets crushed by his foot, concluding the commercial with Tommy telling us, "Oh, he'll probably put his foot down."
  • Good Boy
  • House Is Not a Home
  • I Forgot
  • Kneading
  • Knock Knock
Tommy recites a "knock knock" joke to Fred.
Tommy: "Knock knock."
Fred: "Who's there?"
Tommy: "Kern's."
Fred: "Kern's who?"
Tommy: "Kern's Bread."
Fred: "I don't get it."
Tommy: "You should! Everybody should get Kern's Bread!"
  • Lose All the Time
  • Nitro Sandwich
  • On His Mind
Tommy enters the frame, scatting and dancing with a bag of Kern's Bread on his head. Fred asks what he's doing. Tommy replies "Kern's Bread is always on my mind!". Fred mutters to himself, "I think it's gone to his head."
  • Persuasion
  • Positive
Tommy approaches Fred and asks him if he likes Kern's Bread. Fred responds, saying he doesn't know; as he does this, Tommy pulls out a revolver and shoots Fred. As Fred drops out of frame, Tommy remarks to the audience, "You gotta be positive."
  • Promise
  • Psychiatrist
Fred tells Tommy he should see a psychiatrist for loving Kern's Bread so much. Tommy replies that he did see a psychiatrist; it was the psychiatrist who told him about Kern's! Tommy states he used to have the same amount of affection for his raincoat.
  • Steamroller
  • Symbolic
Fred, holding a pair of cymbals, remarks that the taste of Kern's Bread is music to his ears. When Fred asks what the cymbals are for, Tommy clashes the cymbals over Fred's head, leaving him in a daze. Tommy states, "This is a very symbolic commercial."
  • Try It Again
Tommy asks Fred if he likes to eat, and Fred says yes. Tommy asks if he likes to eat bread. and Fred says yes again. Tommy asks if he likes to eat Kern's Bread, but Fred says no, to which Tommy whacks him on the head with a club and asks, "Shall we try that again?"
  • Vanish
  • Violent Commercial
Fred denounces the violence in the Kern's Bakery ads, stating this for the reason he does not eat Kern's Bread, then gets grabbed by by a gorilla and clobbered offscreen. Tommy casually remarks, "Violence? What violence?"
  • Want a Bite
  • Whenever You Want
  • Window

See also

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