DEBUT 1996

Mr. Callahan was the focus of several Muppets Tonight skits entitled "At the Bar", which were only shown in the UK version of the show. The skits were seen from Mr. Callahan's point of view. Mr. Callahan was a regular customer at a bar owned by Polly Lobster and Clueless Morgan. Although referred to as Mr. Callahan, he is seen wearing nail varnish and jewelry, and Polly and Clueless make references to him wearing silver lip gloss, and other cosmetics, perhaps suggesting he is a cross-dresser.

In each segment, Mr. Callahan enters the diner and sees Polly Lobster singing Rod Stewart's "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?". Polly never gets further than the third line, however, as he then notices Mr. Callahan. He offers him his usual drink, which Mr. Callahan always declines. Polly gives him a new recipe, which usually has unpleasant consequences. Polly gives some kind of reassurance such as "Don't worry, Mr. Callahan, those eyebrows will grow back." After drinking, Mr. Callahan asks after Clueless, whom Polly then calls. Clueless compliments Mr. Callahan on his appearance, then, prompted by Polly, makes jokes about his family. Polly eventually tires of Clueless' jokes and prompts him to sing. The song is almost immediately interrupted, usually by Polly and Clueless getting knocked out.

The segments are a reference to the Joe the Bartender sketches from The Jackie Gleason Show, in which Gleason (as Joe) and a character named Crazy Guggenheim (played by Frank Fontaine) would chat with the unseen Mr. Dunahy and then sing a song. Guggenheim, a drunk, would sing in a beautiful melodic voice that contrasted with his personality.



Clueless says his sister is eating him and his wife out of house and home...literally. She watches the kids (a "nanny goat"). They launch into "Camptown Races," but Mr. Callahan pelts them with fruits and vegetables.

Clueless is attempting to swat a horsefly with a cricket bat. He knocks out Mr. Callahan, infuriating Polly. Clueless attempts to atone by singing a fly-themed variation on "Skip To My Lou My Darling" with Polly, but he is distracted by the fly again and ends up knocking out both Polly and himself.

Clueless is not about to become a father, but eagerly awaiting the completion of a junkyard next to his house, because he eats rubbish. He and Polly start to sing "Give Me A Home Where The Buffalo Roam", but a buffalo stampedes into the bar, knocking Clueless out, which Polly finds hilarious.

Clueless has been recycling cans- by eating them! He and Polly start to sing "Ta-Ra-Ra Boom-De-Ay" but are both knocked out by hammers which come down from the ceiling.

Clueless has been manufacturing peanut butter shoelaces as a sideline. He and Polly start singing "Oh Mein Papa", but are knocked senseless when two five-hundred-pound weights fall from the ceiling.

Clueless is going to knight school to learn jousting. Polly threatens to hit Clueless over the head with a frying pan if he doesn't sing. Clueless begins a heartfelt rendition of "Beautiful Dreamer", but Polly has lied, and hits him anyway. Mr. Callahan then hits Polly with another frying pan to punish him for lying.

Clueless is going to driving school. Presumably, because this is the last "At The Bar" skit, Polly and Clueless actually manage to finish their song - eventually. They start singing "That's Amore", and a larger-than-life pizza hits Clueless in the face. They laugh it off and finish the song to wild applause.

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