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| Boulder || <center>''[[The Muppet Show Live]]''</center> || The Newsman announces that there are reports of a Giant Boulder rolling through Hollywood. He looks out to the audience and says "Ha! They didn't give you giant boulders to throw, did they?" [[Sweetums]] enters remarking "Nope, but they gave me one." He then decks the Newsman with with the giant rock.
 
| Boulder || <center>''[[The Muppet Show Live]]''</center> || The Newsman announces that there are reports of a Giant Boulder rolling through Hollywood. He looks out to the audience and says "Ha! They didn't give you giant boulders to throw, did they?" [[Sweetums]] enters remarking "Nope, but they gave me one." He then decks the Newsman with with the giant rock.
 
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{{muppetsketches}}
   
 
[[Category:Muppet Show Recurring Sketches]]
 
[[Category:Muppet Show Recurring Sketches]]

Revision as of 15:03, 6 March 2007

Newsman2

The Newsman in a later appearence.

Muppet News Flash segments were a regular feature of The Muppet Show for all five seasons. The segments starred the Newsman, a breathlessly emphatic anchorman.

There were slight changes made to the News Flash segments after the first season. In the first year, the segments often featured interviews with a strange person played by the guest star. Starting with the second year, the Newsman would rush on to the scene, announcing an unusual story -- and he would then fall victim to the subject of the news story in some way.

The Newsman himself also changed during the first season, adding glasses to his costume. His voice originally was lower, closer to Link Hogthrob's, but that too would be modified in the first season.

After The Muppet Show finished production, News Flash segments went on in a photographed comic book style for one page in several issues of Muppet Magazine. Later in 2001, new segments were performed for The Muppet Show Live. For these skits, the audience members closest to the stage were given props to throw at the Newsman at the appropriate time.

Sketches

The Muppet Show Season 1

Title Episode Description
Hotline
Episode 102: Connie Stevens
The Newsman picks up the phone for a hotline, and burns his hand.
Note: In his first appearance, the Newsman wears his glasses. This was actually taped later in the season. This sketch is one of only two first season News Flash sketches in which the Newsman was the victim.
Boffo the Human Cannonball
Episode 103: Joel Grey
The Newsman reports the demise of Boffo the Human Cannonball.
Note: First time the Newsman does not wear glasses and sounds different.
City Held Hostage
Episode 103: Joel Grey
A city is held hostage by a retired bus driver.
Kidnapped Ocean
Episode 104: Ruth Buzzi
The Atlantic Ocean has been kidnapped!
Dancing Chicken
Episode 105: Rita Moreno
The Newsman reports on a dancing chicken.
There Is No News Tonight!
Episode 105: Rita Moreno
The Newsman reports that there is no news tonight.
Note: The same sketch was used again in Episode 116: Avery Schreiber.
Flying Saucer Spotted
Episode 106: Jim Nabors
The Newsman interviews gas station attendant Billy Lee Boomer (played by Jim Nabors) who spotted a flying saucer.
Note: The Newsman is starting to evolve; while he doesn't yet have glasses, his voice becomes more like the one we know today.
Amazing Story
Episode 108: Paul Williams
The Newsman just got an incredible story that's reported by Arnold Stockman (played by Paul Williams) who claims that the phone rang but there was nobody on the other end of the line.
Boxer vs. Himself
Episode 110: Harvey Korman
Undefeated boxer Carl Boomer (played by Harvey Korman) has a match against himself.
Seaweed Diet
Episode 111: Lena Horne
Lola Bramswell (played by Lena Horne) is on a seaweed diet.
The Cure For the Common Cold
Episode 112: Peter Ustinov
The Newsman interviews Dr. Felix Oglebomb (played by Peter Ustinov) who thinks he has found the cure for the common cold.
The World Record For Jumping the Most Jumps
Episode 114: Sandy Duncan
The Newsman interviews Billie Lee Bonker (played by Sandy Duncan) who is trying to break a world record for the most jumps in a row. Her motivation? She's standing on a hot plate. The newsman then picks up the phone and asks "Where do we get these nuts?"
Death of Pole Climber
Episode 117: Ben Vereen
The Newsman reports Mr. Richard Cosgrove, the flagpole-climber, who died during his feat.
Winged Travel
Episode 118: Phyllis Diller
Beverly Shepherd (played by Phyllis Diller) has built herself a pair of wings and flown. She accomplished this by buying feathers, making wings for herself and then buying a plane ticket.
Furniture Monsters
Episode 119: Vincent Price
The Newsman reports that furniture from all over the world has been turning into monsters. While he reports this, a man who is watching the news on TV is being attacked by his furniture.
Note: This is the only time that a Muppet has been seen watching the news, or The Muppet Show for that matter, on a television set.
Man Turns Into Rug
Episode 120: Valerie Harper
Mrs. Klinger (Valerie Harper) explains that her husband Gus has transformed into a rug, with fringe, over the last few months. She plans to divorce him because he doesn't match the curtains.
Blank Paper
Episode 120: Valerie Harper
Both sides of the Newsman's paper are blank.
The Woman Who Ate a Tractor
Episode 121: Twiggy
Lola Thomas (played by Twiggy) has eaten an entire tractor, medium rare.
The World's Longest Sentence
Episode 123: Kaye Ballard
The Newsman can't get a word in edgewise when he tries to interview Gretchen Powers (played by Kaye Ballard who is trying to get into the Guinness Book of World Records for saying the longest spoken sentence.
Sergei Lenofsky's 196th Birthday Celebration
Episode 124: Mummenschanz
The Newsman reports on Sergei Lenofsky's 196th birthday celebration.
Note: The Newsman appears without glasses and a different voice.

The Muppet Show Season 2

Title Episode Description
News Flash
Episode 205: Judy Collins
The paper suddenly catches fire.
On Stage Without Pants
Episode 207: Edgar Bergen
The news report states that the Newsman is on stage without wearing any pants.
Exploding News Reporters
Episode 209: Madeline Kahn
There are reports that television news reporters are blowing up.
Mallarditis
Episode 215: Lou Rawls
The Newsman's head turns into a duck's head.
Ten Thousand Ping Pong Balls and One Bowling Ball
Episode 217: Julie Andrews
An airplane has been forced to drop some of its luggage.
Fishing Season
Episode 221: Bob Hope
As the Newsman reports that today is the first day of fishing season, gunshots are heard and fish fall onto his desk.
Opera Season
Episode 221: Bob Hope
As the Newsman reports that tonight is the opening night of opera season, gunshots are heard and a diva in a horned viking helmet falls onto his desk.
Newspig
Episode 224: Cloris Leachman
The Newsman is replaced by a pig.

The Muppet Show Season 3

Title Episode Description
The Glue Crisis Has Been Solved
Episode 304: Gilda Radner
The Newsman reports that the glue crisis has been solved, but he gets glued to his chair.
Note: One of the few times, if not the only time, that the Newsman had a chair.
Muppet News International
Episode 317: Spike Milligan
The Newsman presents "simultaneous translation bringing you news and views across the language barrier," assisted by Spike Milligan pantomiming.
Note: This was the first time the Newsman was seen with the guest star since the first season.

The Muppet Show Season 4

Title Episode Description
Hospital Beds Made From Pop-Up Toaster Parts
Episode 410: Kenny Rogers
A report from Muppet Labs regarding the hospital bed used in the "Coconut" production number.
National Sheep Dog Trials
Episode 417: Star Wars
The Sheep Dogs have been found not guilty.
The Swinetrek Has Landed
Episode 417: Star Wars
The Swinetrek has made a soft landing on a distant planet while Venus is about to make a hard landing on the Muppet newsroom.
Killer Lamb
Episode 418: Christopher Reeve
A killer lamb has escaped from a zoo and into the Muppet newsroom.
Rezal-Evad-Gib
Episode 419: Lynda Carter
A crocodile god, Rezal-Evad-Gib, will attack anybody who reads its name.
Note: "Rezal-Evad-Gib" is "Big Dave Lazer" spelled backwards. David Lazer was the producer of The Muppet Show.
Cheese
Episode 422: Andy Williams
The Newsman gives a report on cheese.

The Muppet Show Season 5

Title Episode Description
The Meaning of Life
Episode 501: Gene Kelly
The meaning and purpose of life has been revealed, but the Newsman can't find the rest of his report papers.
Gold Security Guard
Episode 504: Shirley Bassey
A security guard is guarding a stack of gold bars and will hurt anyone who touches them.
Clothes Turning into Chickens
Episode 509: Debbie Harry
The Newsman announces that famous French clothing designer David Lazour was arrested for designing clothes that can suddenly turn into chickens.
Overdue Library Books
Episode 511: Paul Simon
The local library will forgive all fines for any library books that get returned within the next three seconds.
Note: Seen as part of the episode's UK Spot.
Beef Falls Dramatically
Episode 512: Melissa Manchester
A cow falls on The Newsman.
Unidentified Flying Object
Episode 523: Linda Ronstadt
Following the previous sketch, The Swedish Chef falls on The Newsman.
Mackerel King
Episode 524: Roger Moore
The Newsman reports that security at Muppet News is so good that rumors cannot be reported to Muppet News. The Newsman then reports that a yellow-and-black striped mackerel has been elected king. The Newsman doesn't believe it until he meets the king.

Additional Sketches (Non-Muppet Show)

Title Episode Description
Kermit's Date with Lady Holiday
The Great Muppet Caper
Details at eleven.
The Worst Blizzard in Fifty Years
A Muppet Family Christmas
The Newsman announces that the worst blizzard in fifty years is approaching, and that barometers are falling sharply. Barometers then literally fall onto the Newsman.
Golf Balls
The Muppet Show Live
The Newsman brings a "Muppet News Weather Update!." He announces that the Hollywood area is being pelted by a hailstorm and witnesses are reporting hailstones as large as golf balls. Soon he is pelted by plastic golf balls thrown by the audience.
Football
The Muppet Show Live
The Newsman announces that Rich Gannon, quarterback for the Oakland Raiders, threw 250 touchdown passes. He soon remarks "250 Touchdown passes. That's impossible!" only to be hit by many nerf footballs being thrown by the audience.
Boulder
The Muppet Show Live
The Newsman announces that there are reports of a Giant Boulder rolling through Hollywood. He looks out to the audience and says "Ha! They didn't give you giant boulders to throw, did they?" Sweetums enters remarking "Nope, but they gave me one." He then decks the Newsman with with the giant rock.