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| Songs from | The Muppet Show |
| Released | 1977 |
| Format | 33 1/3 RPM soundsheet |
| Label | Eva-Tone Soundsheets |
| Cat no. | 1025771X |
"Welcome to the Muppet Show Fan Club" is a soundsheet recorded by the cast of The Muppet Show in 1977 as part of the membership kit for the Muppet Show Fan Club. The soundsheet plays on a standard record player, at 33 1/3 RPM.
The record consists of a three-minute sketch including a welcome from the cast, "The Muppet Show Theme", and closing commentary from Statler and Waldorf. The recording has never been released commercially, and was only available to Fan Club members.
Transcript[]
| Opening drumroll | |
| Kermit the Frog | Hello there, and welcome to The Muppet Show Fan Club! |
| Fozzie Bear | Hello, everybody! |
| The Muppets all try to speak at once, greeting the new Fan Club member. The noise settles down into "The Muppet Show Theme" (2nd season version), which ends with Gonzo attempting to blow his trumpet. | |
| Gonzo | Honk! Toot! |
| Kermit | Uh, Gonzo, what happened to your trumpet? |
| Gonzo | I ate it! |
| Kermit | Of course. Uh, hello out there, everybody, and, uh, welcome to The Muppet Show Fan Club! |
| Fozzie | Hi, this is Fozzie Bear! |
| Kermit | And this is Kermit the Frog! |
| Fozzie | Yeah, this is the bear with the snappy patter and the funny hat! Or is it the funny patter and the snappy hat? |
| Kermit | Uh, something like that. |
| Fozzie | Oh, gee, I forgot! |
| Kermit | Whatever! Anyhow, a bunch of us have gathered here to say hello to you all, and to thank you for writing in and joining our fan club! |
| Miss Piggy | Hello, Kermie! |
| Kermit | Uh, hello, Miss Piggy. |
| Miss Piggy | May I say something to the members of the Miss Piggy Fan Club? |
| Kermit | Uh, well, this isn't the Miss Piggy Fan Club. This is the Muppet Show Fan Club. |
| Miss Piggy | Mmm-hmm, whatever. I love each and every one of you adoring fans. Not quite as much as you love me! |
| Scooter | Excuse me, Kermit? Uh, Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem are waiting outside. They'd like to come in and say hello to the Fan Club! |
| Kermit | Oh, sure! Send them in! |
| Scooter | Come on in, guys! |
| Floyd Pepper | Oh, yeah, heyyy! Could be, could be, bop could be, what it is, babies! |
| Dr. Teeth | Hey, yeah, this is Dr. Teeth! I hope y'all all gonna buy a lot of my records! |
| Janice | Oh, really! Really! You know, like, I've joined many fan clubs, but this is the first time a fan club ever joined me! Wowwww! |
| Dr. Teeth | Yeah! |
| Zoot | Oh, really, this is Zoot! "B-natural"! |
| Floyd and Dr. Teeth chuckle. | |
| Animal | FAN CLUB! FAN CLUB! FAN CLUB! |
| Kermit | Okay... |
| Floyd | Whoa, Animal... |
| Kermit | Uh, could somebody get Animal out of here... |
| Sam the Eagle | Kermit, what are these people doing here? |
| Kermit | Uh, well, the, uh -- |
| Floyd | Let's split, it's the eagle. |
| Sam | Get away from me! |
| Kermit | Uh, yeah. |
| Sam | Don't touch me! I would like to speak to someone about these weird, sick people in this show! |
| Kermit | Uh, well, this is, uh, this is the cast of our -- |
| Gonzo | Sam! Sam! Lookit! Lookit! I wanna show you something! Look at these chickens! I glued 'em together! |
| A chorus of glued-together chickens start clucking, somewhat musically. | |
| Sam | Will you get these things away from me, you geek?! I don't want these chickens here, Kermit! Kermit, did you hear me? |
| Kermit | Uh, yeah, well, okay, well, can we get the chickens out of here? |
| Dr. Teeth | Hey, yeah, we'll bring in the monsters! The monsters will take the chickens out... |
| Sam | No, no, no, no, no! |
| The usual chaos ensues, until it settles down and we hear the closing theme, which of course ends with... | |
| Waldorf | Well, what do you think of this Muppet Show Fan Club, Statler? Shall we join? |
| Statler | Why, are we coming apart? |
| Both | Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! |
| The theme finishes with a blast from Zoot's sax. | |
| THE END |