(transcript for stagecoach changed to seemingly match a different sponsor (not what the screengrabbed spot says), transcripts need to reflect actual spoken dialogue; can't find a source for the beatnik one either way, changing back until ad is found) |
No edit summary |
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| align=center | [[File:Wilkinsairplane.jpg|250px]] |
| align=center | [[File:Wilkinsairplane.jpg|250px]] |
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− | | '''Airplane'''<hr/> |
+ | | '''Airplane'''<small>(remade for [[Community Coffee]])</small><hr/> |
Wilkins and Wontkins are in an airplane, we see Wilkins dressed in drag as a hostess and Wontkins sitting in a passenger seat: |
Wilkins and Wontkins are in an airplane, we see Wilkins dressed in drag as a hostess and Wontkins sitting in a passenger seat: |
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Line 82: | Line 82: | ||
|- |
|- |
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− | | align=center | [[File: |
+ | | align=center | [[File:S.W.I.N.G.jpg|250px]] |
| '''Beatnik'''<hr/> |
| '''Beatnik'''<hr/> |
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Line 88: | Line 88: | ||
*'''Wilkins:''' Hey man, what makes you so square? |
*'''Wilkins:''' Hey man, what makes you so square? |
||
− | *'''Wontkins:''' I don't |
+ | *'''Wontkins:''' I don't dig Wilkins Coffee. |
''(A can of Wilkins Coffee tied to a rope swings on-screen hitting Wontkins on the head)'' |
''(A can of Wilkins Coffee tied to a rope swings on-screen hitting Wontkins on the head)'' |
||
*'''Wilkins:''' You should, it really swings! |
*'''Wilkins:''' You should, it really swings! |
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Line 203: | Line 203: | ||
|- |
|- |
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| align=center | [[File:Wilkinscannon.jpg|250px]] |
| align=center | [[File:Wilkinscannon.jpg|250px]] |
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+ | | '''Cannon'''<small>(remade for [[Merita Bread]], [[Frank's Beverages]], [[Red Diamond Coffee]], [[Kraml Dairy]], [[Nash's Coffee]], [[Taystee Bread]], [[Calso Water]], [[Community Coffee]] and National City Bank.)</small><hr/> |
||
⚫ | |||
Wilkins is seen sitting on a can of Wilkins Coffee next to a cannon pointed at Wontkins: |
Wilkins is seen sitting on a can of Wilkins Coffee next to a cannon pointed at Wontkins: |
||
− | *'''Wilkins:''' Okay buddy, |
+ | *'''Wilkins:''' Okay buddy, what do you think of Wilkins Coffee? |
*'''Wontkins:''' I never tasted it. |
*'''Wontkins:''' I never tasted it. |
||
''(Wilkins shoots Wontkins, and then points the cannon at the viewer)'' |
''(Wilkins shoots Wontkins, and then points the cannon at the viewer)'' |
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Line 263: | Line 263: | ||
Wilkins is a mustached barber, in a white coat. Wontkins is on the barber chair, with his face covered in shaving cream: |
Wilkins is a mustached barber, in a white coat. Wontkins is on the barber chair, with his face covered in shaving cream: |
||
− | *'''Wontkins:''' |
+ | *'''Wontkins:''' Gimme a close shave. |
*'''Wilkins:''' Do you drink Wilkins Coffee? |
*'''Wilkins:''' Do you drink Wilkins Coffee? |
||
*'''Wontkins:''' Never. |
*'''Wontkins:''' Never. |
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Line 299: | Line 299: | ||
*'''Wilkins:''' Gimme some Party Line Coffee. |
*'''Wilkins:''' Gimme some Party Line Coffee. |
||
*'''Wontkins:''' How about some Wilkins, comrade? |
*'''Wontkins:''' How about some Wilkins, comrade? |
||
− | *'''Wilkins:''' ''(gasp)'' That's capitalist coffee, you traitor! ''( |
+ | *'''Wilkins:''' ''(gasp)'' That's capitalist coffee, you traitor! ''(whispering)'' Send two pounds to the back door. |
|- |
|- |
||
| align=center | [[File:Wilkinsconvincingmachine.jpg|250px]] |
| align=center | [[File:Wilkinsconvincingmachine.jpg|250px]] |
||
− | | '''Convincing Machine'''<hr/> |
+ | | '''Convincing Machine'''<small>(remade for [[Community Coffee]])</small><hr/> |
Wontkins is in front of a machine with several mallets attached to a wheel. Wilkins is holding a lever: |
Wontkins is in front of a machine with several mallets attached to a wheel. Wilkins is holding a lever: |
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Line 320: | Line 320: | ||
(Sped-up speaking from Mr. Wilkins is heard on the telephone) |
(Sped-up speaking from Mr. Wilkins is heard on the telephone) |
||
− | *'''Wilkins:''' |
+ | *'''Wilkins:''' What... What... |
*'''Wontkins:''' What's wrong? |
*'''Wontkins:''' What's wrong? |
||
− | *'''Wilkins:''' Mr. Wilkins |
+ | *'''Wilkins:''' Mr. Wilkins says, "Cut the kidding and tell them Wilkins Decaffeinated Coffee is the best you can buy". |
(They both nod to the viewers) |
(They both nod to the viewers) |
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* '''Wilkins:''' Want some Wilkins Coffee before you jump? |
* '''Wilkins:''' Want some Wilkins Coffee before you jump? |
||
* '''Wontkins:''' ''(offscreen)'' No. |
* '''Wontkins:''' ''(offscreen)'' No. |
||
− | ''(Wilkins moves the bucket out of the way, as Wontkins plunges to the floor |
+ | ''(Wilkins moves the bucket out of the way, as Wontkins plunges to the floor and bounces)'' |
* '''Wilkins:''' You miss a lot when you don't drink Wilkins. |
* '''Wilkins:''' You miss a lot when you don't drink Wilkins. |
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Line 378: | Line 378: | ||
''(Wilkins turns on the fountain and water comes out and spills all over Wontkins.)'' |
''(Wilkins turns on the fountain and water comes out and spills all over Wontkins.)'' |
||
*'''Wilkins:''' Something for everyone! |
*'''Wilkins:''' Something for everyone! |
||
− | |||
⚫ | |||
⚫ | |||
⚫ | |||
− | |||
⚫ | |||
− | |||
⚫ | |||
⚫ | |||
⚫ | |||
⚫ | |||
⚫ | |||
|- |
|- |
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*'''Wontkins:''' But I don't drink Wilkins Coffee. |
*'''Wontkins:''' But I don't drink Wilkins Coffee. |
||
''(Wilkins is shown alone, with a blood-covered blade)'' |
''(Wilkins is shown alone, with a blood-covered blade)'' |
||
− | *'''Wilkins:''' Some learn |
+ | *'''Wilkins:''' Some learn and some don't... |
|- |
|- |
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Line 447: | Line 435: | ||
|- |
|- |
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− | | align=center | [[File: |
+ | | align=center | [[File:Wilkinsfallingsafe.jpg|250px]] |
| '''Falling Safe'''<hr/> |
| '''Falling Safe'''<hr/> |
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Line 459: | Line 447: | ||
|- |
|- |
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− | | align=center | [[File: |
+ | | align=center | [[File:Wilkins-Fired.jpg|250px]] |
| '''Fired'''<small>(remade for [[Red Diamond Coffee]])</small><hr/> |
| '''Fired'''<small>(remade for [[Red Diamond Coffee]])</small><hr/> |
||
− | Wontkins, covered in flammable material, is standing on a wall: |
+ | Wontkins, covered in flammable material, is standing on a wall, also standing next to a Wilkins Coffee sign: |
− | *'''Wontkins:''' Old Man Wilkins hired me to sell his crummy Wilkins |
+ | *'''Wontkins:''' Old Man Wilkins just hired me to sell his crummy Wilkins Coffee. |
− | ''(Mr. Wilkins' hand pops |
+ | ''(Mr. Wilkins' hand pops into the frame holding a match and proceeds to set fire to Wontkins)'' |
*'''Wilkins:''' I think he just fired you, too. |
*'''Wilkins:''' I think he just fired you, too. |
||
Line 489: | Line 477: | ||
''(Mr. Wilkins crushes Wontkins with his foot)'' |
''(Mr. Wilkins crushes Wontkins with his foot)'' |
||
*'''Wilkins:''' Oh, he'll probably put his foot down. |
*'''Wilkins:''' Oh, he'll probably put his foot down. |
||
+ | |||
⚫ | |||
⚫ | |||
⚫ | |||
+ | |||
⚫ | |||
+ | |||
⚫ | |||
⚫ | |||
⚫ | |||
⚫ | |||
⚫ | |||
|- |
|- |
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Line 535: | Line 535: | ||
*'''Wilkins:''' Okay! |
*'''Wilkins:''' Okay! |
||
''(Wilkins smashes a bottle onto Wontkins' head)'' |
''(Wilkins smashes a bottle onto Wontkins' head)'' |
||
− | *'''Wilkins:''' But |
+ | *'''Wilkins:''' But he would've liked the Wilkins. |
|- |
|- |
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Line 580: | Line 580: | ||
''(A human hand appears from above the frame, grabs Wontkins by his head and brings him back above the frame)'' |
''(A human hand appears from above the frame, grabs Wontkins by his head and brings him back above the frame)'' |
||
*'''Wilkins:''' He must drink Wilkins, too. |
*'''Wilkins:''' He must drink Wilkins, too. |
||
+ | |||
+ | |- |
||
+ | | align=center | [[File:Noimage.png|100px]] |
||
+ | | '''Headaches of Life'''<hr/> |
||
+ | |||
+ | *'''Wilkins:''' Wilkins Instant Coffee sooths the headaches of life. |
||
+ | *'''Wontkins:''' I don't have any headaches. |
||
+ | ''(Wilkins grabs a large mallet and hits Wontkins with it, causing Wontkins to have a headache.)'' |
||
+ | *'''Wilkins:''' Care for cream and sugar? |
||
|- |
|- |
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Line 613: | Line 622: | ||
*'''Wilkins:''' Hello, grocery store? Send me some Wilkins Instant Coffee. |
*'''Wilkins:''' Hello, grocery store? Send me some Wilkins Instant Coffee. |
||
''(Coffee sprays out from the telephone)'' |
''(Coffee sprays out from the telephone)'' |
||
− | *'''Wilkins:''' ''(gurgling)'' How instant can you get? |
+ | *'''Wilkins:''' ''(gurgling)'' Man! How instant can you get? |
|- |
|- |
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Line 638: | Line 647: | ||
*'''Wilkins:''' How shocking. |
*'''Wilkins:''' How shocking. |
||
''(Wilkins is shown throwing a switch)'' |
''(Wilkins is shown throwing a switch)'' |
||
+ | |||
+ | |- |
||
+ | | align=center | [[File:Hunch.jpg|250px]] |
||
⚫ | |||
+ | |||
+ | Wilkins (dressed in a fedora and trenchcoat) and Wontkins are seen walking down a dark alley, the latter noticing that a silhouetted stranger in a hat is following the both of them. |
||
+ | |||
+ | *'''Wontkins:''' I have a hunch I'm being followed. |
||
+ | *'''Wilkins:''' Have you started drinking Wilkins Instant Coffee? |
||
+ | *'''Wontkins:''' No! |
||
+ | ''(stranger grabs Wontkins from behind and whisks him OC)'' |
||
+ | *'''Wontkins:''' HELP! |
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+ | *'''Wilkins:''' I have a hunch he'd ''better'' start! |
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|- |
|- |
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''(Wilkins is now wearing a napkin on his eyes)'' |
''(Wilkins is now wearing a napkin on his eyes)'' |
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*'''Wilkins:''' Okay, let's try it blindfolded. |
*'''Wilkins:''' Okay, let's try it blindfolded. |
||
− | ''(Wontkins |
+ | ''(Wontkins ducks out of the way)'' |
|- |
|- |
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Line 751: | Line 773: | ||
|- |
|- |
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| align=center | [[File:Noimage.png|100px]] |
| align=center | [[File:Noimage.png|100px]] |
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− | | '''Love My Wilkins / Psychiatrist''' <small>(remade for [[Kern's Bakery]] and [[Kraml Dairy]].)</small><hr/> |
+ | | '''Love My Wilkins / Psychiatrist''' <small>(remade for [[Community Coffee]], [[Kern's Bakery]] and [[Kraml Dairy]].)</small><hr/> |
Wilkins is hugging a package of Wilkins Coffee: |
Wilkins is hugging a package of Wilkins Coffee: |
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*'''Wilkins:''' After forty days of this, Noah, I bet you wish we brought some Wilkins Coffee instead of those silly elephants. |
*'''Wilkins:''' After forty days of this, Noah, I bet you wish we brought some Wilkins Coffee instead of those silly elephants. |
||
− | ''(The silhouette of an elephant peeks its head out of the ark and bellows)'' |
+ | ''(The silhouette of an elephant peeks its head out of the ark and bellows as Wontkins nods)'' |
|- |
|- |
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Wilkins is seen laying on a toy wagon wearing a baby bonnet and cardigan while sipping some Wilkins Coffee; Wontkins, wearing a hat, enters the scene: |
Wilkins is seen laying on a toy wagon wearing a baby bonnet and cardigan while sipping some Wilkins Coffee; Wontkins, wearing a hat, enters the scene: |
||
− | *'''Wontkins:''' What's a |
+ | *'''Wontkins:''' What's a young kid like you doing drinking Wilkins Coffee? |
− | *'''Wilkins:''' I'm on the wagon, |
+ | *'''Wilkins:''' I'm on the wagon, pop. |
(''Wilkins rolls off-screen on his wagon; Wontkins turns to the camera)'' |
(''Wilkins rolls off-screen on his wagon; Wontkins turns to the camera)'' |
||
*'''Wontkins:''' Fresh kid... |
*'''Wontkins:''' Fresh kid... |
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*'''Wilkins:''' Merry Christmas! It's a joy to serve Wilkins Coffee to so many people at Christmas. |
*'''Wilkins:''' Merry Christmas! It's a joy to serve Wilkins Coffee to so many people at Christmas. |
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− | *'''Wontkins:''' It's a joy to you |
+ | *'''Wontkins:''' It's a joy to you! You're not pulling the sled! |
|- |
|- |
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*'''Wontkins:''' The Indians won't bother ya. All you've got is a shipment of Wilkins Coffee. |
*'''Wontkins:''' The Indians won't bother ya. All you've got is a shipment of Wilkins Coffee. |
||
''(The coach is now moving)'' |
''(The coach is now moving)'' |
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− | *'''Wilkins:''' ''(With several arrows in his hat)'' |
+ | *'''Wilkins:''' ''(With several arrows in his hat)'' I learned that everybody drinks Wilkins! |
|- |
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Line 1,042: | Line 1,064: | ||
''(Wontkins falls into the pool)'' |
''(Wontkins falls into the pool)'' |
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*'''Wontkins:''' Help, I'm drowning! |
*'''Wontkins:''' Help, I'm drowning! |
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− | *'''Wilkins:''' I told him he' |
+ | *'''Wilkins:''' I told him he'd end up drinking Wilkins! |
+ | |||
+ | |- |
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+ | | align=center | [[File:Wilkins taking the fifth.png|250px]] |
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+ | | '''Taking the Fifth'''<hr/> |
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+ | |||
+ | Wilkins is behind 4 cups of Wilkins Coffee in presumably his house. Wontkins notices the 4 cups and enters the scene: |
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+ | |||
+ | *'''Wontkins:''' That's your fourth cup of Wilkins Instant Coffee, have you had enough? |
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+ | *'''Wilkins:''' I refuse to answer. |
||
+ | *'''Wontkins:''' Why? |
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+ | (Wilkins holds up a fifth cup) |
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+ | *'''Wilkins:''' I'm taking the fifth! |
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+ | (Wontkins, frustrated, leaves the scene) |
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|- |
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Line 1,154: | Line 1,189: | ||
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|- |
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| align=center | [[File:Wilkinswhaleofacoffee.jpg|250px]] |
| align=center | [[File:Wilkinswhaleofacoffee.jpg|250px]] |
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− | | '''Whale'''<small>(remade for [[Red Diamond Coffee]])</small><hr/> |
+ | | '''Whale of a Coffee'''<small>(remade for [[Red Diamond Coffee]])</small><hr/> |
Wilkins and Wontkins are swimming in the ocean: |
Wilkins and Wontkins are swimming in the ocean: |
Revision as of 10:19, 25 May 2020
Transcripts of known Wilkins Coffee commercials.
Picture | Description |
---|---|
$65 Wontkins is standing in front of a cafe. Wilkins, in hat and coat, steps into the frame and asks:
| |
80 Days with Wilkins Wilkins and Wontkins are seen flying on a hot-air balloon, carrying a pile of Wilkins Coffee cans:
(Wilkins throws Wontkins out from the balloon)
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Airplane(remade for Community Coffee) Wilkins and Wontkins are in an airplane, we see Wilkins dressed in drag as a hostess and Wontkins sitting in a passenger seat:
(Wilkins throws Wontkins out from the suspended airplane)
| |
Bad Guy Machine Wilkins and Wontkins are in a laboratory. Wontkins is inside a machine and Wilkins is behind a control-pad:
(Wilkins turns on the machine, which hits Wontkins repeatedly with two mallets) | |
Bandwagon
(A bandwagon full of cheering people enters the frame and runs over Wontkins)
| |
Bank Robber Wilkins, dressed in coat and hat, is standing in front of a safe. Wontkins comes in the frame dressed as a robber:
(Wilkins shoots Wontkins)
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Baseball Wilkins and Wontkins are in a baseball field, Wontkins is seen as a batter while Wilkins plays the umpire:
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Beatnik In a street alley, a group of beatniks is seen sitting on the ground reading (presumably) beat poetry; Wilkins is also sitting there dressed as a fellow beatnik as he talks to a square-headed Wontkins:
(A can of Wilkins Coffee tied to a rope swings on-screen hitting Wontkins on the head)
| |
Bell Wilkins is standing next to a suspended bell holding a mallet, Wontkins enters the frame:
(Wontkins puts his head inside the bell and Wilkins proceeds to hit it with the mallet.)
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Best Coffee is...
(Wilkins interrupts Wontkins by pulling a curtain reading "Wilkins" in front of him)
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Biplane Wilkins and Wontkins are riding a biplane, with Wilkins as the pilot:
(Wilkins flips the plane upside down, causing Wontkins to fall)
| |
File:Community-Cigar.png | Blow Torch (remade for Community Coffee) Wilkins and Wontkins are working in a factory. Wilkins has a welder's mask and a blow torch. Wontkins has a cigar in his mouth:
(Wilkins blasts the blowtorch in Wontkins' face. Wontkins is blackened, the cigar burnt to a crisp.)
|
Blow Up Wilkins is sitting on a wall next to Wontkins
(Wilkins presses down on the detonator, causing Wontkins to somehow explode)
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Boston Tea Party
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Boxing Glove Wilkins and Wontkins are standing in front of a coffee machine:
(Wilkins pushes the button, a boxing glove springs out from the machine hitting Wontkins in the face)
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Brand X(remade for Merita Bread; Claussen's Bakery and Red Diamond Coffee) Wilkins and Wontkins are in the desert, wearing cowboy hats:
(Wilkins marks Wontkins with a branding iron he's wielding)
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Camera Wilkins is holding a camera next to Wontkins:
(Wilkins literally shoots Wontkins with the camera)
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Cannibal Scene Wilkins and Wontkins are inside a huge coffee cup, surrounded by cannibals:
(Wontkins faints) | |
Cannon(remade for Merita Bread, Frank's Beverages, Red Diamond Coffee, Kraml Dairy, Nash's Coffee, Taystee Bread, Calso Water, Community Coffee and National City Bank.) Wilkins is seen sitting on a can of Wilkins Coffee next to a cannon pointed at Wontkins:
(Wilkins shoots Wontkins, and then points the cannon at the viewer)
| |
Car Salesman Wilkins parked Wontkins' car in the "Super-Safe Parking". Unfortunately, the car is destroyed:
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Cash Register Wilkins is sitting behind a bar counter:
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Cheep Cheep (remade for Dugan's Bread and LaTouraine Coffee) Wilkins and Wontkins are sitting on a wall with two cans of coffee, Wilkins Coffee and Cheap Coffee:
(Two birds come out the Cheap Coffee can)
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Climbing Tree(remade for Red Diamond Coffee) Wilkins and Wontkins are sitting on a tree:
(Wilkins kicks Wontkins, making him fall down from the tree)
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Close Shave Wilkins is a mustached barber, in a white coat. Wontkins is on the barber chair, with his face covered in shaving cream:
(Wilkins brandishes a huge razor.)
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Club Wilkins is sitting on a wall, Wontkins approaches:
(Wilkins hits Wontkins with a club he's holding)
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Coffee Break Wilkins and Wontkins are seen as construction workers, sitting on a high-level girder:
(Wilkins throws Wontkins down the girder)
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Communist Store Wontinks is selling coffee in a Communist store, Wilkins, in Russian clothes, enters in:
| |
Convincing Machine(remade for Community Coffee) Wontkins is in front of a machine with several mallets attached to a wheel. Wilkins is holding a lever:
(Wilkins pulls the lever and turns on the machine and the mallets start to hit Wontkins in quick succession)
| |
Cut the Kidding Wilkins is speaking to Mr. Wilkins on the telephone. Wontkins enters in: (Sped-up speaking from Mr. Wilkins is heard on the telephone)
(They both nod to the viewers) | |
Cut Up Wontkins is tied with ropes on a conveyor belt, slowly coming closer to a huge buzzsaw:
| |
Death Defying Leap (remade for Community Coffee and Red Diamond Coffee) Wilkins is seen holding a bucket labeled "DEATH-DEFYING DIVE":
(Wilkins moves the bucket out of the way, as Wontkins plunges to the floor and bounces)
| |
Desert Island
Wilkins and Wontkins are seen stuck in a desert island:
| |
Did you Call? Wontkins is seen alone on a desert island:
(Wilkins pops out from behind a hill carrying a sign reading "Wilkins Coffee")
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Drinking Fountain Wilkins and Wontkins are standing next to a drinking fountain:
(Wilkins turns on the fountain and water comes out and spills all over Wontkins.)
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Elevator Elevator doors in a department store open revealing Wilkins as an elevator operator and Wontkins:
| |
En Garde Wilkins and Wontkins are seen as two fencers:
(Wilkins is shown alone, with a blood-covered blade)
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Espionage Wilkins and Wontkins are seen in a dark alley. Wilkins is wearing hat and trench coat:
(A bullet shot off-screen hits Wontkins)
| |
Exploding Cigar Wontkins is smoking a cigar, Wilkins comes in and says:
(The cigar explodes)
| |
Fair Damsel Wontkins, dressed in drag impersonating a fair damsel, is imprisoned in a castle tower:
(From below the tower, Wilkins stands wearing a knight armor)
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Falling Safe Wilkins and Wontkins are standing on a street corner. Wilkins is holding a string tied to something out of view:
(Wilkins pulls the string. A safe drops on Wontkins' head, crushing him.)
| |
Fired(remade for Red Diamond Coffee) Wontkins, covered in flammable material, is standing on a wall, also standing next to a Wilkins Coffee sign:
(Mr. Wilkins' hand pops into the frame holding a match and proceeds to set fire to Wontkins)
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Five Aces Wilkins and Wontkins (with a cigar or cigarette in his mouth) are playing cards, sitting around a table, in a dark room:
(Wilkins brings on the table a can of Wilkins Coffee and shoots Wontkins with a gun.)
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Footdown** (remade for Kern's Bakery and Claussen's Bakery) Wilkins and Wontkins are sitting on a wall, while Wilkins is holding a cup of coffee:
(Mr. Wilkins crushes Wontkins with his foot)
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Give 'Im the Eggs Wilkins is standing behind a bar counter, Wontkins rushes onto the frame and cries:
(Eggs are thrown at Wontkins' face from off-screen)
(despite the mess, Wontkins eats the eggs) | |
Good, Better, Best(remade for Red Diamond Coffee) Wontkins is standing behind a wall, next to him stands Wilkins menacingly holding a club:
(Wilkins hits Wontkins with the club)
(Wilkins hits Wontkins again)
| |
Get A Lift
(Suddenly, Wontkins quickly levitates off-screen)
(Wontkins falls back down, bouncing on the floor) | |
Ghost To Ghost Wilkins and Wontkins are sitting in a dark spooky setting adorned with cobwebs as two ghostly version of Wilkins float about while holding tea cups:
(Wontkins runs off-screen in terror) | |
Ginger Ale Wilkins is a clerk sitting behind the counter of a grocery store, Wontkins enters the frame:
(Wilkins smashes a bottle onto Wontkins' head)
| |
Grenade (remade for Community Coffee) Wilkins and Wontkins are in a foxhole, wearing shelter hats. Wilkins is holding a grenade:
(Wilkins zips away and the grenade explodes on Wontkins)
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Guilottine Wontkins is standing behind a guillotine, while Wilkins is holding the blade up with a rope.
(Wilkins lets go of the rope and the blade slides down, narrowly missing Wontkins)
| |
Hammer Wilkins is batting a nail on a wall:
(Wilkins hits Wontkins on his head with the hammer) | |
Hand Of Fate Wilkins and Wontkins are seen in a storage room that holds dozens of cans of Wilkins Coffee:
(A human hand appears from above the frame, grabs Wontkins by his head and brings him back above the frame)
| |
Headaches of Life
(Wilkins grabs a large mallet and hits Wontkins with it, causing Wontkins to have a headache.)
| |
Hidden Persuaders Wilkins is sitting behind a desk, next to him we see Wontkins:
(Wilkins turns off the lights and quickly stabs Wontkins with a knife)
(Wilkins turns the lights back on)
| |
House is Not a Home Wontkins is inside a small house, nearby we see Wilkins holding a bomb.
(Wilkins throws the bomb in Wontkins' house and runs away)
(The house blows up) | |
How Instant Wilkins is seen using a payphone:
(Coffee sprays out from the telephone)
| |
How Low Can You Get? Wilkins and Wontkins are walking down a city street:
(Wontkins falls into an open manhole)
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How Shocking Wontkins is tied up on a electric chair, while Wilkins is next to him holding a switch:
(Wilkins is shown throwing a switch) | |
I Have a Hunch Wilkins (dressed in a fedora and trenchcoat) and Wontkins are seen walking down a dark alley, the latter noticing that a silhouetted stranger in a hat is following the both of them.
(stranger grabs Wontkins from behind and whisks him OC)
| |
I'd Give a Million Bucks Wilkins is lying under a tree:
(A cup of coffee appears in his lap)
| |
Jack in the Box Wontkins is staring at a present box, Wilkins rushes in and announces:
(A Jack pops out the box)
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Jailhouse (remade for Faygo and Kraml Dairy) Wilkins is a judge. Wontkins stands in the dock.
(A rattle of keys as a prison door slams on Wontkins' face.)
| |
Jingle in Bed Wilkins and Wontkins are sleeping together in a double bed. Wilkins sits up in bed and sings a Wilkins jingle.
(Wontkins wakes up.)
(Wilkins hits Wontkins with a club. Wontkins falls back on the pillow.)
| |
Just Checking Wilkins and Wontkins are standing behind a wall, Wilkins is holding a stamp.
(Wilkins hits Wontkins with the stamp, leaving a check mark on him)
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Just Kidding(remade for Dugan's Bread) Wilkins and Wontkins are standing behind a wall.
(The set explodes, as Wilkins and Wontkins hide in terror behind the destroyed wall)
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Knife Thrower Wilkins, playing a knife thrower, is about to throw a knife at Wontkins, who is standing in front of a target while wearing bandages all over his body.
(Wilkins is now wearing a napkin on his eyes)
(Wontkins ducks out of the way) | |
Lets Everyone Sleep Wilkins and Wontkins are sitting on a brick wall, in front of a starry background, while a can of coffee is suspended in the air by a rope.
(The can hits Wontkins, making him faint)
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Little Red Riding Hood Wilkins enters a small cottage dressed as Little Red Riding Hood and as he approaches the bed he says :
(Wontkins reveals himself under the bedsheets sporting wolf ears)
(Wontkins hides back under the sheets in frustration) | |
Lost my Head Wilkins is seen with his head floating.
(Wontkins runs away)
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Love My Wilkins / Psychiatrist (remade for Community Coffee, Kern's Bakery and Kraml Dairy.) Wilkins is hugging a package of Wilkins Coffee:
(Wilkins snuggles against the package.) | |
Magician Saw Wilkins, dressed as a magician, is doing a sawing trick and Wontkins is volunteering:
(Wilkins saws vigorously) | |
Man Overboard Wilkins, playing a sailor, and Wontkins, playing a sea captain, are riding a ship, the S.S. Wilkins:
(Wilkins throws Wontkins overboard)
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Monster (remade for C & P Telephone Co. of VA, Claussen's Bakery, Kraml Dairy, Nash's and Kern's Bakery) Wilkins and Wontkins are sitting on a brick wall.
(A monster appears and swallows Wontkins whole)
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Mountain Climbing Wilkins and Wontkins are climbing a mountain. Wilkins is holding Wontkins with a rope:
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New Car or Wilkins Coffee? Wilkins is selling a car while holding its hood opened.
(Wilkins squashes Wontkins' head with the hood)
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Noah's Ark Wilkins and Wontkins (playing Noah) are in their ark which is balanced on top of a cliff:
(The silhouette of an elephant peeks its head out of the ark and bellows as Wontkins nods) | |
Nobody Beats Wilkins Wilkins is behind a desk, next to him stands Wontkins.
(Wilkins brandishes a gun and shoots Wontkins with it)
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Nowhere Wilkins is sitting on a wall next to Wontkins:
(Wontkins disappears)
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Old Man Wilkins Wilkins and Wontkins are in front of a ton of Wilkins cans. Wontkins breaks the silence by saying...
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On The Wagon(remade for Calso Water) Wilkins is seen laying on a toy wagon wearing a baby bonnet and cardigan while sipping some Wilkins Coffee; Wontkins, wearing a hat, enters the scene:
(Wilkins rolls off-screen on his wagon; Wontkins turns to the camera)
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Parachute Wilkins leisurely floats in the sky with his parachute, while Wontkins plummets down rapidly with his folded parachute:
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Peter Peter Coffee Drinker (A still image of Wontkins, who plays Peter Peter Coffee Drinker, staring at a cup of coffee is seen)
(Now, a still image of Wontkins standing next to Wilkins cross-dressing as Peter Peter Coffee Drinker's wife is seen)
(Wilkins hits Wontkins with the can of coffee he's holding, leading to a still image of a unconscious Wontkins)
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Pie Wontkins is at a cafe where it serves Wilkins and pie. Wilkins is the waiter:
(A human hand splats the pie at Wontkins)
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Public Service Announcement Wilkins is standing behind a wall holding a microphone while Wontkins is standing next to him:
(A human hand comes into the frame holding a gun and shoots Wontkins in the head)
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Quiz Show Wontkins is the host of a quiz show, while Wilkins is the contestant:
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Rocket Ship (remade for Merita Bread and Kraml Dairy.) Wilkins and Wontkins are standing next to a rocket:
(The rocket ship blows up to pieces)
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Rose in Wilkins Wilkins and Wontkins are sitting on a wall next to a rose growing out from a can of Wilkins Coffee:
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Santa Claus Wilkins is dressed up as Santa Claus while Wontkins, dressed-up as a reindeer, is pulling a sled:
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Sleeping Beauty Wontkins is lying in bed dressed in drag as the Sleeping Beauty. Wilkings, playing the prince, enters the scene:
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Snikliw the Swamee Wilkins is a fortune-teller and Wontkins is his customer:
(Wilkins blows up Wontkins)
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Soggy Romance Wilkins, wearing a wig, and Wontkins are cuddling in a forest:
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Stagecoach Wontkins is standing next to Wilkins riding a coach:
(The coach is now moving)
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Steamroller Wontkins is standing on a wall, next to him there's a cup of coffee:
(Wilkins flattens Wontkins with a steamroller)
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Stranger Wilkins and Wontkins are wearing cowboy hats and bandanas. Wilkins has a gun drawn at Wontkins:
(Wilkins shoots Wontkins)
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Strawberry Shortcake Wilkins is seen behind a bar counter, holding near Wontkins' face a plate of strawberry shortcake in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other:
(Wilkins throws the shortcake on Wontkins, and then he pours the coffee on him)
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Survey Wilkins has a pad and pencil:
(Wilkins turn to the audience)
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Swimming Pool** (remade for Faygo) Wilkins is a lifeguard of a swimming pool:
(Wontkins falls into the pool)
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Taking the Fifth Wilkins is behind 4 cups of Wilkins Coffee in presumably his house. Wontkins notices the 4 cups and enters the scene:
(Wilkins holds up a fifth cup)
(Wontkins, frustrated, leaves the scene) | |
Tar and Feathers
(Wontkins pops into the frame covered in tar and feathers)
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Ton of Wilkins Wilkins and Wontkins are seen in a coffee storehouse:
(A crash is heard as the camera quickly shakes)
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Trainload (remade for LaTouraine Coffee) Wontkins is standing on a railroad until Wilkins rushes frantically into the frame:
(The train comes into the frame and runs over Wontkins.)
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Tree Wilkins and Wontkins are standing next to a tree:
(The tree falls on Wontkins head)
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Truckload of Wilkins Wilkins and Wontkins are sitting on a wall, watching the road. Wilkins is holding pen and paper. A truck passes:
(A faster truck passes)
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Tunnel of Love (remade for Kraml Dairy) Wilkins and Wontkins are in a boat, heading into the Tunnel of Love. Wilkins is dressed in a blond wig and white blouse:
(The boat enters the tunnel.)
(A splash is heard. Cut to the other side of the tunnel. Wilkins emerges in the boat, alone.)
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TV Anti-Violence League Wilkins is sitting on a can of Wilkins coffee pointing a cannon on Wontkins, who's holding a sign reading "TV Anti-Violence League":
(Wilkins brings down a curtain with "One Moment Please" written on it. He shoots Wontkins and quickly raises the curtain back up again)
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TV Set (remade for Community Coffee) Wontkins is watching a Wilkins Coffee commercial featuring Wilkins on TV:
(Wilkins blows the TV set up destroying it)
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Washington Monument Wilkins and Wontkins are standing next to the Washington Monument:
(The monument falls on Wontkins)
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Water with Dinner Wontkins is dining in a cafe. Wilkins, working as a waiter, approaches:
(Wilkins shoots water on Wontkins with a hose)
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Whale of a Coffee(remade for Red Diamond Coffee) Wilkins and Wontkins are swimming in the ocean:
(A whale comes into the frame and swallows Wontkins whole)
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What Kind of Coffee do You Sell? Wilkins is seen behind a bar counter, selling coffee. Wontkins rushes in and says:
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Why Not Wilkins is standing next to a Wilkins Coffee can in a black background.
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Wild Horses Wilkins and Wontkins are standing next to a desert-like background. Wilkins has a cup and saucer and says to Wontkins:
(Galloping noises from horses are heard as Wontkins starts shaking in fear)
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William Tell (remade for Community Coffee) Wilkins is William Tell, wielding a bow and arrow. Wontkins trembles an apple on his head:
(Wilkins aims the bow lower, and lets the arrow fly.)
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You Can't Win Wontkins is watching a Wilkins Coffee commercial featuring Wilkins on his TV set, then he turns at the camera and says:
(Wilkins comes out the TV)
(Wilkins blows Wontkins' TV up)
(Wontkins shakes his head)
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