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*'''Wilkins:''' Give him the eggs, boys! |
*'''Wilkins:''' Give him the eggs, boys! |
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(Eggs are thrown at Wontkins' face from off-screen) |
(Eggs are thrown at Wontkins' face from off-screen) |
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− | *'''Wilkins:''' A meal without Wilkins is a mess. |
+ | *'''Wilkins:''' A meal without Wilkins is a mess. |
+ | (despite the mess, Wotnkins eats the eggs) |
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Revision as of 14:35, 14 March 2020
Transcripts of known Wilkins Coffee commercials.
Picture | Description |
---|---|
$65 Wontkins is standing in front of a cafe. Wilkins, in hat and coat, steps into the frame and asks:
| |
80 Days with Wilkins Wilkins and Wontkins are seen flying on a hot-air balloon, carrying a pile of Wilkins Coffee cans:
(Wilkins throws Wontkins out from the balloon)
| |
Airplane Wilkins and Wontkins are in an airplane, we see Wilkins dressed in drag as a hostess and Wontkins sitting in a passenger seat:
(Wilkins throws Wontkins out from the suspended airplane)
| |
Bad Guy Machine Wilkins and Wontkins are in a laboratory. Wontkins is inside a machine and Wilkins is behind a control-pad:
(Wilkins turns on the machine, which hits Wontkins repeatedly with two mallets) | |
Bandwagon
(A bandwagon full of cheering people enters the frame and runs over Wontkins)
| |
Bank Robber Wilkins, dressed in coat and hat, is standing in front of a safe. Wontkins comes in the frame dressed as a robber:
(Wilkins shoots Wontkins)
| |
Baseball Wilkins and Wontkins are in a baseball field, Wontkins is seen as a batter while Wilkins plays the umpire:
| |
Beatnik In a street alley a group of beatniks is seen sitting on the ground reading (presumably) beat poetry; Wilkins is also sitting there dressed as a fellow beatnik as he talks to a square-headed Wontkins :
(A can of Wilkins Coffee tied to a rope swings on-screen hitting Wontkins on the head)
| |
Bell Wilkins is standing next to a suspended bell holding a mallet, Wontkins enters the frame:
(Wontkins puts his head inside the bell and Wilkins proceeds to hit it with the mallet.)
| |
Best Coffee is...
(Wilkins interrupts Wontkins by pulling a curtain reading "Wilkins" in front of him)
| |
Biplane Wilkins and Wontkins are riding a biplane, with Wilkins as the pilot:
(Wilkins flips the plane upside down, causing Wontkins to fall)
| |
File:Community-Cigar.png | Blow Torch (remade for Community Coffee) Wilkins and Wontkins are working in a factory. Wilkins has a welder's mask and a blow torch. Wontkins has a cigar in his mouth:
(Wilkins blasts the blowtorch in Wontkins' face. Wontkins is blackened, the cigar burnt to a crisp.)
|
Blow Up Wilkins is sitting on a wall next to Wontkins
(Wilkins presses down on the detonator, causing Wontkins to somehow explode)
| |
Boston Tea Party
| |
Boxing Glove Wilkins and Wontkins are standing in front of a coffee machine:
(Wilkins pushes the button, a boxing glove springs out from the machine hitting Wontkins in the face)
| |
Brand X(remade for Merita Bread; Claussen's Bakery and Red Diamond Coffee) Wilkins and Wontkins are in the desert wearing cowboy hats:
(Wilkins marks Wontkins with a branding iron he's wielding)
| |
Camera Wilkins is holding a camera next to Wontkins:
(Wilkins literally shoots Wontkins with the camera)
| |
Cannibal Scene Wilkins and Wontkins are inside a huge coffee cup, surrounded by cannibals:
(Wontkins faints) | |
Cannon Wilkins is seen sitting on a can of Wilkins Coffee next to a cannon pointed at Wontkins:
(Wilkins shoots Wontkins, and then points the cannon at the viewer)
| |
Car Salesman Wilkins parked Wontkins' car in the "Super-Safe Parking". Unfortunately, the car is destroyed:
| |
Cash Register Wilkins is sitting behind a bar counter:
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Cheep Cheep (remade for Dugan's Bread and LaTouraine Coffee) Wilkins and Wontkins are sitting on a wall with two cans of coffee, Wilkins Coffee and Cheap Coffee:
(Two birds come out the Cheap Coffee can)
| |
Climbing Tree(remade for Red Diamond Coffee) Wilkins and Wontkins are sitting on a tree:
(Wilkins kicks Wontkins, making him fall down from the tree)
| |
Close Shave Wilkins is a mustached barber, in a white coat. Wontkins is on the barber chair, with his face covered in shaving cream:
(Wilkins brandishes a huge razor.)
| |
Club Wilkins is sitting on a wall, Wontkins approaches:
(Wilkins hits Wontkins with a club he's holding)
| |
Coffee Break Wilkins and Wontkins are seen as construction workers, sitting on a high-level girder:
(Wilkins throws Wontkins down the girder)
| |
Communist Store Wontinks is selling coffee in a Communist store, Wilkins, in Russian clothes, enters in:
| |
Convincing Machine Wontkins is in front of a machine with several mallets attached to a wheel. Wilkins is holding a lever:
(Wilkins pulls the lever and turns on the machine and the mullets start to hit Wontkins in quick succession)
| |
Cut the Kidding Wilkins is speaking to Mr. Wilkins on the telephone. Wontkins enters in: (Sped up speaking from Mr. Wilkins is heard on the telephone)
(They both nod to the viewers) | |
Cut Up Wontkins is tied with ropes on a conveyor belt, slowly coming closer to a huge buzzsaw.
| |
Death Defying Leap (remade for Community Coffee and Red Diamond Coffee) Wilkins is seen holding a bucket labeled "DEATH-DEFYING DIVE"
(Wilkins moves the bucket out of the way, as Wontkins plunges to the floor.)
| |
Desert Island
Wilkins and Wontkins are seen stuck in a desert island
| |
Did you Call? Wontkins is seen alone on a desert island.
(Wilkins Coffee pops out from behind a hill carrying a sign reading "Wilkins Coffee")
| |
Eggs Wilkins is standing behind a bar counter, Wontkins rushes onto the frame and cries:
(Eggs are thrown at Wontkins' face from off-screen)
(despite the mess, Wotnkins eats the eggs) | |
Elevator Elevators doors in a department store open revealing Wilkins as an elevator operator and Wontkins.
| |
En Garde Wilkins and Wontkins are seen as two fencers:
(Wilkins is shown alone, with a blood-covered blade)
| |
Espionage Wilkins and Wontkins are seen in a dark alley. Wilkins is wearing hat and trench coat:
(A bullet shot off-screen hits Wontkins)
| |
Fair Damsel Wontkins, dressed in drag impersonating a fair damsel, is imprisoned in a castle tower
(From below the tower, Wilkins stands wearing a knight armor)
| |
Falling Safe Wilkins and Wontkins are standing on a street corner. Wilkins is holding a string tied to something out of view.
(Wilkins pulls the string. A safe drops on Wontkins' head, crushing him.)
| |
Fired(remade for Red Diamond Coffee) Wontkins, covered in flammable material, is standing on a wall:
(Mr. Wilkins' hand pops onto the frame holding a match and proceeds to set fire to Wontkins)
| |
Five Aces Wilkins and Wontkins (with a cigar or cigarette in his mouth) are playing cards, sitting around a table, in a dark room:
(Wilkins brings on the table a can of Wilkins Coffee and shoots Wontkins with a gun.)
| |
Footdown** (remade for Kern's Bakery and Claussen's Bakery) Wilkins and Wontkins are sitting on a wall, while Wilkins is holding a cup of coffee:
(Mr. Wilkins crushes Wontkins with his foot)
| |
Good, Better, Best(remade for Red Diamond Coffee) Wontkins is standing behind a wall, next to him stands Wilkins menacingly holding a club:
(Wilkins hits Wontkins with the club)
(Wilkins hits Wontkins again)
| |
Get A Lift
(Suddenly, Wontkins quickly levitates off-screen)
(Wontkins falls back down, bouncing on the floor) | |
Ghost To Ghost Wilkins and Wontkins are sitting in a dark spooky setting adorned with cobwebs as two ghostly version of Wilkins float about while holding tea cups:
(Wontkins runs off-screen in terror) | |
Ginger Ale Wilkins is a clerk sitting behind the counter of a grocery store, Wontkins enters the frame:
(Wilkins smashes a bottle onto Wontkins' head)
| |
Grenade (remade for Community Coffee) Wilkins and Wontkins are in a foxhole, wearing shelter hats. Wilkins is holding a grenade:
(Wilkins zips away and the grenade explodes on Wontkins)
| |
Guilottine Wontkins is standing behind a guillotine, while Wilkins is holding the blade up with a rope.
(Wilkins lets go of the rope and the blade slides down, narrowly missing Wontkins)
| |
Hammer Wilkins is batting a nail on a wall:
(Wilkins hits Wontkins on his head with the hammer) | |
Hand Of Fate Wilkins and Wontkins are seen in a storage room that holds dozens of cans of Wilkins Coffee:
(A human hand appears from above the frame, grabs Wontkins by his head and brings him back above the frame)
| |
Hidden Persuaders Wilkins is sitting behind a desk, next to him we see Wontkins:
(Wilkins turns off the lights and quickly stabs Wontkins with a knife)
(Wilkins turns the lights back on)
| |
House is Not a Home Wontkins is inside a small house, nearby we see Wilkins holding a bomb.
(Wilkins throws the bomb in Wontkins' house and runs away)
(The house blows-up) | |
How Instant Wilkins is seen using a payphone:
(Coffee sprays out from the telephone)
| |
How Low Can You Get? Wilkins and Wontkins are walking down a city street:
(Wontkins falls into an open manhole)
| |
How Shocking Wontkins is tied up on a electric chair, while Wilkins is next to him holding a switch:
(Wilkins is shown throwing a switch) | |
I'd Give a Million Bucks Wilkins is lying under a tree:
(A cup of coffee appears in his lap)
| |
Jack in the Box Wontkins is staring at a present box, Wilkins rushes in and announces:
(A Jack pops out the box)
| |
Jailhouse (remade for Faygo and Kraml Dairy) Wilkins is a judge. Wontkins stands in the dock.
(A rattle of keys as a prison door slams on Wontkins' face.)
| |
Jingle in Bed Wilkins and Wontkins are sleeping together in a double bed. Wilkins sits up in bed and sings a Wilkins jingle.
(Wontkins wakes up.)
(Wilkins hits Wontkins with a club. Wontkins falls back on the pillow.)
| |
Just Checking Wilkins and Wontkins are standing behind a wall, Wilkins is holding a stamp.
(Wilkins hits Wontkins with the stamp, leaving a check mark on him)
| |
Just Kidding(remade for Dugan's Bread) Wilkins and Wontkins are standing behind a wall.
(The set explodes, as Wilkins and Wontkins hide in terror behind the destroyed wall)
| |
Knife Thrower Wilkins, playing a knife thrower, is about to throw a knife at Wontkins, who is standing in front of a target while wearing bandages all over his body.
(Wilkins is now wearing a napkin on his eyes)
(Wontkins faints) | |
Lets Everyone Sleep Wilkins and Wontkins are sitting on a brick wall, in front of a starry background, while a can of coffee is suspended in the air by a rope.
(The can hits Wontkins, making him faint)
| |
Little Red Riding Hood Wilkins enters a small cottage dressed as Little Red Riding Hood and as he approaches the bed he says :
(Wontkins reveals himself under the bedsheets sporting wolf ears)
(Wontkins hides back under the sheets in frustration) | |
Lost my Head Wilkins is seen with his head floating.
(Wontkins runs away)
| |
Love My Wilkins / Psychiatrist (remade for Kern's Bakery and Kraml Dairy.) Wilkins is hugging a package of Wilkins Coffee:
(Wilkins snuggles against the package.) | |
Man Overboard Wilkins, playing a sailorman, and Wontkins, playing a sea captain, are riding a ship, the S.S. Wilkins:
(Wilkins throws Wontkins overboard)
| |
Monster (remade for C & P Telephone Co. of VA, Claussen's Bakery, Kraml Dairy, Nash's and Kern's Bakery) Wilkins and Wontkins are sitting on a brick wall.
(A monster appears and swallows Wontkins whole)
| |
Mountain Climbing Wilkins and Wontkins are climbing a mountain. Wilkins is holding Wontkins with a rope:
| |
New Car or Wilkins Coffee? Wilkins is selling a car while holding its hood opened.
(Wilkins squashes Wontkins' head with the hood)
| |
Noah's Ark Wilkins and Wontkins (playing Noah) are in their ark which is balanced on top of a cliff:
(The silhouette of an elephant peeks its head out of the ark and bellows) | |
Nobody Beats Wilkins Wilkins is behind a desk, next to him stands Wontkins.
(Wilkins brandishes a gun and shoots Wontkins with it)
| |
Nowhere Wilkins is sitting on a wall next to Wontkins:
(Wontkins disappears)
| |
Old Man Wilkins Wilkins and Wontkins are in front of a ton of Wilkins cans. Wontkins breaks the silence by saying...
| |
On The Wagon(remade for Calso Water) Wilkins is seen laying on a toy wagon wearing a baby bonnet and cardigan while sipping some Wilkins Coffee; Wontkins, wearing a hat, enters the scene.
(Wilkins rolls off-screen on his wagon; Wontkins turns to the camera)
| |
Parachute Wilkins leisurely floats in the sky with his parachute, while Wontkins plummets down rapidly with his folded parachute.
| |
Peter Peter Coffee Drinker (A still image of Wontkins, who plays Peter Peter Coffee Drinker, staring at a cup of coffee is seen)
(Now, a still image of Wontkins standing next to Wilkins cross-dressing as Peter Peter Coffee Drinker's wife is seen)
(Wilkins hits Wontkins with the can of coffee he's holding, leading to a still image of a unconscious Wontkins)
| |
Pie (Wontkins is at a cafe where it serves Wilkins and Pie. Wilkins is the waiter)
(A human hand splats the pie at Wontkins)
| |
Public Service Announcement Wilkins is standing behind a wall holding a microphone while Wontkins is standing next to him.
(A human hand comes into the frame holding a gun and shoots Wontkins in the head)
| |
Quiz Show Wontkins is the host of a Quiz Show, while Wilkins is the contestant:
| |
Rocket Ship (remade for Merita Bread and Kraml Dairy.) Wilkins and Wontkins are standing next to a rocket ship:
(The rocket ship blows up to pieces)
| |
Rose in Wilkins Wilkins and Wontkins are sitting on a wall next to a rose growing out from a can of Wilkins Coffee:
| |
Santa Claus Wilkins is dressed up as Santa Claus while Wontkins, dressed-up as a reindeer, is pulling a sled:
| |
Sleeping Beauty Wontkins is lying in bed dressed in drag as the Sleeping Beauty. Wilkings, playing the prince, enters the scene:
| |
Snikliw the Swamee Wilkins is a fortune-teller and Wontkins is his customer:
(Wilkins blows up Wontkins)
| |
Soggy Romance Wilkins, wearing a wig, and Wontkins are cuddling a forest:
| |
Stagecoach Wontkins is standing next to Wilkins riding a coach:
(The coach is now moving)
| |
Steamroller Wontkins is standing on a wall, next to him there's a cup of coffee:
(Wilkins flattens Wontkins with a steamroller)
| |
Stranger Wilkins and Wontkins are wearing cowboy hats and bandannas. Wilkins has a gun drawn at Wontkins:
(Wilkins shoots Wontkins)
| |
Strawberry Shortcake Wilkins is seen behind a bar counter, holding near Wontkins' face a plate of strawberry shortcake in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other:
(Wilkins throws the shortcake on Wontkins, and then he pours the coffee on him)
| |
Survey Wilkins has a pad and pencil:
(Wilkins turn to the audience)
| |
Swimming Pool** (remade for Faygo) Wilkins is a lifeguard of a swimming pool:
(Wontkins falls into the pool)
| |
Tar and Feathers
(Wontkins pops into the frame covered in tar and feathers)
| |
Ton of Wilkins Wilkins and Wontkins are seen in a coffee storehouse:
(A crash is heard as the camera quickly shakes)
| |
Trainload (remade for LaTouraine Coffee) Wontkins is standing on a railroad until Wilkins rushes frantically into the frame:
(The train comes into the frame and runs over Wontkins.)
| |
Tree Wilkins and Wontkins are standing next to a tree:
(The tree falls on Wontkins head)
| |
Truckload of Wilkins Wilkins and Wontkins are sitting on a wall, watching the road. Wilkins is holding pen and paper. A truck passes:
(A faster truck passes)
| |
Tunnel of Love (remade for Kraml Dairy) Wilkins and Wontkins are in a boat, heading into the Tunnel of Love. Wilkins is dressed in a blond wig and white blouse:
(The boat enters the tunnel.)
(A splash is heard. Cut to the other side of the tunnel. Wilkins emerges in the boat, alone.)
| |
TV Anti-Violence League Wilkins is sitting on a can of Wilkins coffee pointing a cannon on Wontkins, who's holding a sign reading "TV Anti-Violence League":
(Wilkins brings down a curtain with "One Moment Please" written on it. He shoots Wontkins and quickly raises the curtain back up again)
| |
TV Set (remade for Community Coffee) Wontkins is watching a Wilkins Coffee commercial featuring Wilkins on TV:
(Wilkins blows the TV set up destroying it)
| |
Washington Monument Wilkins and Wontkins are standing next to the Washington Monument:
(The monument falls on Wontkins)
| |
Water with Dinner Wontkins is dining in a cafe. Wilkins, working as a waiter, approaches:
(Wilkins shoots water on Wontkins with a hose)
| |
Whale(remade for Red Diamond Coffee) Wilkins and Wontkins are swimming in the ocean:
(A whale comes into the frame and swallows Wontkins whole)
| |
What Kind of Coffee do You Sell? Wilkins is seen behind a bar counter, selling coffee. Wilkins rushes in and says:
| |
Why Not
| |
Wild Horses
(Horse fast galloping noises are heard)
| |
William Tell (remade for Community Coffee) Wilkins is William Tell, wielding a bow and arrow. Wontkins trembles an apple on his head:
(Wilkins aims the bow lower, and lets the arrow fly.)
| |
You Can't Win Wontkins is watching a Wilkins Coffee commercial featuring Wilkins on his TV set, then he turns at the camera and says:
(Wilkins comes out the TV)
(Wilkins blows Wontkins' TV up)
(Wontkins shakes his head)
|