Written by Alice Cooper and Dick Wagner
Date 1977
Source Lace and Whiskey (album)
Publisher Ezra Music Corp; Spirit One Music

"You and Me" was a hit song co-written and performed by Alice Cooper on his album Lace and Whiskey, which marked a departure from the musician's dark and sinister persona. It was later performed by Frank Sinatra.

Alice performs this song as a duet with Beakie on a bed of pillows in his dressing room in episode 307 of The Muppet Show. In keeping with the spooky theme of the episode, the dressing room is filled with weird props: candles, skulls, skeletons, and a tiger head. However, the lyrics of the song, referring to the life of an ordinary couple sharing "a bed, some popcorn and TV", contrast with this ghostly atmosphere.

When Scooter enters at the end of the song to call Miss Piggy for the upcoming Pigs in Space sketch, it is revealed that she has been transformed into the hideous, rainbow bewigged Beakie after trading her soul to the Devil. Upon seeing herself in the mirror, Piggy calls off her deal with Alice, insisting that she wouldn't sell him her soul if he paid her. Once he reluctantly turns her back to her normal self, however, Alice discovers that his boss doesn't give commissions on hourly rentals.